Favourite Ditty

[Freak]

There was a young girl from Blighty
Who wanted a baby from God
but it wasn't the almighty
that lifted her nighty,


it was the Vicar the dirty old sod

[Crofty]

:d :d :d :d

[kitkatman]

hehehehe :D , trying to think of one bud

[technoboiler]

there once was a hippy called freak
who's future looked terribly bleak
he wanted to say
that he was gay
but wasnt allowed in the 'clique'

[Freak]

Oh get her :p :D

There was a young lad from belfast
whose bollocks were made out of brass
when they tinkled together
they made stormy weather
and lightening short out of his ear

[dracken1]

were gonna have a gangbang me brother,john an me.
we know this girl from across the road who'll do it all for free.
we'll take of her jumper,her bra and her jeans.
then we'll rip off her knickers and stuff her full of beans
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.gonna fuck her really but it don't rhyme

[Spike]

Here is the story of Danny Dick,
He was born with a corkscrew dick.
He searched the world from pole to pole,
To find the girl with a corkscrew hole.

When he found her, he shot himself dead,


Cuz she was born with a left hand thread :D

[bunbag]

o flo i love u so
when the moonlight glits across yer tits
well jesus christ almighty :rolleyes:

[bunbag]

o the dogs they had a party
they came from near and far
some dogs came by air plane other,s came by car

they walked into the lobby (hallway) and signed the visitors book
an each one hung his arsehole on a seprate hook

one dog was not invited he was a welsh terrier( sorry dracken)
and this aroused his eyer
he rushed into the meeting place and loudly shouted FIRE

the dogs were so excited they had no time to look and each one grabbed
an arsehole from the nearest hook


now it is a very sad story
for it is very sore to wear another arsehole yev never worn before


so that is why when dogs meet by land or sea or fall
each sniff,s the others arsehole and hopes it is his own :eek:

[Freak]

When technoboiler first came to the site
She gave eveyone on here a big fright
She showed us all pics
of her bum and her tits
and told us what she got up to at night
:p :D :D

[bunbag]

There was a man from Mauritious
who said " wow that S**g was deliscious
but the next time I come
It'll be up yer bum
coz that scab on yer c**t looks suspicious"

[technoboiler]

When technoboiler first came to the site
She gave eveyone on here a big fright
She showed us all pics
of her bum and her tits
and told us what she got up to at night
:p :D :D


well the freak was terribly sad
coz a sex life he neva had
so he picked on tb
coz it was plain to see
she was neva short of a lad!

[Freak]

well the freak was terribly sad
coz a sex life he neva had
so he picked on tb
coz it was plain to see
she was neva short of a lad!

:D :D :D :D

[bunbag]

there was an woman who lived in a shoe
she had so many kids she didn't know what to do
now people like her make me grunt
you'd have thought by now that she'd stitched up er c***t :eek:

[saxman]

there was a young man from nantucket
whose cock was so long he could suck it
he wiped his chin
and said with a grin
if my ear was a c*nt i could fuck it

[Sir Ewok]

There was a young lady from the Azores
who's cnut was covered in sores
even the dogs in the street
wouldn't touch the green meat
that hung down in lumps from her drawers


There was a young man called Dave
who found a dead pro in a cave
it must have took pluck
to have a cold f**k
but think of the money he saved

There was a young man called sedge
who was shagging a bird in a hedge
when along came his wife
with a bloody great knife
and cut off his meat and two vedge

There once was a woman from Ealing
who had a peculiar feeling
she stood on her head
and opened her legs
and pissed all over the ceiling

The sh*thouse poet when he dies
will find erected in the skies
a monument to match his wit
a statue made of solid sh*t

[Doro]

there once was a bohemian monk
who fell asleep on his bunk
he dreamt that venus was sucking his elbow
and woke up covered in
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perspiration!

[memnoch]

The Captain's son's name was 'Hopper',
My god he had a whopper,
Twice round the deck,
Twice round his neck,
and once up his arse for a stopper!


It is Xmas day in the cookhouse,
The pots are as bright as brass,
But we don't want your Xmas pud,
You can stick it up your arse!

[Dougie]

It was Christmas day in the Palace
Merriment filled the halls
"What do YOU want for Chrimbo?" asked the Sultan
The eunuchs all answered "Chrissy pressies!"






I am so,so sorry for that......

[Sir Ewok]

Do your balls hang low,
can you swing'em too and fro
can you tie them in a knot
can you tie them in a bow
do you get a funny feeling
when you bash them on the ceiling
oh! you'll never be a sailor if your balls hang low....

(Sung to 'Sailor's hornpipe)

[Abb]

My darling Grace I love her face
I love her in her nighty
When moonlight flits across her tits
Oh Jesus Christ Almighty

(My First Book of Rugby Songs)

[mightyninja6]

Oh Jesus Christ AlmightyNinja6 :D

[kitkatman]

there was a man form swaffam
who took off his false balls to wash em
he popped them out of his sack
then fell on his back
then rolled over and squashed them

[bill?]

I read this many years ago in a public bog, and it still makes me laugh


it's no use standing on the seat
the crabs in here can jump 6 feet
and if you think that's rather high
go next door, the bastids fly

[Yoda]

if i hear one more ditty
i will make your life real sh1tty
so please stop now all the rhymey stuff
or ill spread it around that your a ginger poof.



Love Yoda

[Freak]

A boy stood on the burning deck
picking his nose like mad
rolling it up into little balls
and flicking them at his dad

[Yoda]

a bloke got lost from brum one day
him and his mate, i am sure were gay
they got lost, in a big white van
when freak said to jay, 'I want a man'
jay had no choice, as he was lost
so there they did it, in the frost
the directions they blamed, as they were sh1te
for spending them hours in the night
but through all the stories, and all the tales
we really knew, they were headed to wales
to meet a man with a real strange name
so they could play the threesome game
so know you know, if they come back late
they wern't lost, they had shagged a mate

Yoda

[krammer]

a bloke got lost from brum one day
him and his mate, i am sure were gay
they got lost, in a big white van
when freak said to jay, 'I want a man'
jay had no choice, as he was lost
so there they did it, in the frost
the directions they blamed, as they were sh1te
for spending them hours in the night
but through all the stories, and all the tales
we really knew, they were headed to wales
to meet a man with a real strange name
so they could play the threesome game
so know you know, if they come back late
they wern't lost, they had shagged a mate

Yoda take a bow that man :D

[Freak]

take a bow that man :D

Dont bloody encourage him :mad:
:p :D

[saxman]

There once was a man named McGill,
Whose acts grew exceedingly ill,
He insisted on habits,
involving white rabbits,
and a bird with a flexible bill

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There once were two young girls from Birmingham
I knew a wild story concerning 'em
They lifted the frock
And diddled the cock
Of the Bishop engaged in confirming 'em

Now the Bishop was nobody's fool,
He'd been to a fine public school
He lowered his britches
And fucked both those bitches
With his twelve-inch Episcopal tool.

But that didn't startle these two,
Why they laughed as the Bishop withdrew,
The Vicar is quicker
And thicker and slicker
And longer and stronger than you!