The Most Stupid Thing I Have Been Arrested For

[kitkatman]

in 1990 me and my good buddy decided to get into the crimbo spirit and go and get pissed in town.
so after a few ( quite a few ) beers at the local bars and clubs aroud bedford , i was bet a tenner that i could'nt climb the christmas tree in the town centre.
well not one to back down for a chance of a free kebab and a taxi ride home, i climbed the christmas tree, i was so proud of myself, until i see the old bill at the foot of the tree.
'you are under arrest for criminal damage and will you please get down from the tree' one of the officers asked me,
to which i replied' f@ck off, you cant f@ckin arrest me if you can't get to me',
to which the evil bastards replie was to call the bloody fire brigade and get them to get the long haired pissed up fairy from the tree.
so a free night in the finest hotel in bedford was given to me and the f@ckers kicked me out before breakfast was served!
in court @ a week later, the judge see the funny side of the story and only fined me £300 with £200 costs,
my sides were splitting! :D :D

another £80 fine i got was for flahing my arse at a cop car,i got caught, as when i ran off i fell over someones fence and flattened their roses! :D

also a £120 for taking a slash up a cop car......... they were still in it :D

come on then, what have you done, funny ones, not the 'I accidently murdered the village ( unless its funny)'

[RedRobbie]

Around 1983 the Pope visited Liverpool and stayed overnight in woolton village.I got pissed up and knowing where he was staying I decided to sing outside his house through a road cone. I sang Ave Maria untill the poilce kicked my arse and arested me for D and D. Still how many people get to sing the pope a lullybye?

[kitkatman]

i am in awe of you master, was the pope impressed and i hope you sang 'the number of beast'...... :D

[RedRobbie]

i am in awe of you master, was the pope impressed and i hope you sang 'the number of beast'...... :D

I think he liked it. I didnt know all the words but I kept most of it clean

[Bosun]

i dont know the calibre of people we get on here now :D :D ;)

[blackhack]

Well, I once pissed in percy throwers garden on the way back from the pub when I lived in london...couldnt understand why all the police cars were flying about....seems i set off the intruder alarms.....never got caught though...

[Sir Ewok]

Never been caught for silly stuff, just arrested for knicking a ali tower and some oxy-acetalyne welding gear. Never found the other stuff..... :D

[poridge wog]

got nicked for being pissed up and sitting cross legged on the roof of a police car trying to pinch the blue light of the top :p

[Bag Lady]

In retrospect I was lucky but the one of the daftest thing I did .....I had had lots of aggro from my ex.....you wouldnt believe half of it...one morning something just snapped....I got a 9" knife out of the kitchen drawer and drove 6 miles to where ex had moved to. Stood on his doorstep with the knife on my hand and rang the door bell....bast**d wasn't in.....so I went home. :(

Hell has no fury and all that .....

Shep knows this and he STILL wants me to marry him.. :confused: :confused:

[Doro]

I avoided arrest after trying to kill my sister by handing myself in


and yeah (baglady), gypsy is still willing to marry me :D







btw 'bag lady' is a name which conjures up visions of smelly people in dirty coats who sleep outside and drink meths

however, if you're like me, it could actually mean that you can't go past a pretty handbag without wanting to buy it lmao

or even that you once foolishly paid £520 for a designer bag which you never ever used in case it got stolen/dirty/old - not me I hasten to add!

[Sir Ewok]

Noooo! Not you!!!! :p

[Doro]

nope ewok

even if I could afford it I won't pay stupid money for unecessary items

I get bored with my stuff so quick anyway - cheap stuff usually lasts about as long as my interest so that suits me fine lol

unless it's scent of course, can't stand cheap perfume

:p

[Blue]

My two most notable arrests were one for riot, and another for threatening to set a copper on fire. (The fact that I had a full and open can of petrol in my hand at the time may have swayed that one...)

[Bag Lady]

btw 'bag lady' is a name which conjures up visions of smelly people in dirty coats who sleep outside and drink meths

however, if you're like me, it could actually mean that you can't go past a pretty handbag without wanting to buy it lmao

or even that you once foolishly paid £520 for a designer bag which you never ever used in case it got stolen/dirty/old - not me I hasten to add!


Bag Lady is because I make bags......Carrier bag holder bags. Made as animals wearing dresses. You stuff the carrier bags up their bum.....
Gipsy asked us to bring something we have made as a wedding present....guess what I have made for you....... I made the cow that is my avitar.

[Freak]

I have never been arrested
Although I was always amoungst trouble as a kid (never the instigater mind ;) ) One of the first things I learnt was if the coppers ever turned up to a, ahem, scene just keep quiet and grin. There was always someone who would gob off and they were the ones that got arrested. Worked everytime and the more I was in the wrong the more other people gobbed off and the quicker they got taken away. Of course I've been a perfect citizen ever since those hazy days of youth. ;) :rolleyes:

[Doro]

aha

and that reason behind your name wasn't on my list of choices *blush*


and you've made us your avatar, oooooooo, famous cow..............golly I'm getting excited now...that's really kind of you :) :)

one of my friends at school made me a rag doll and I loved it forever (until it became my eldest son's favourite toy and he kinda wore it down lol)

I also knew someone who knitted dolls

but ain't ever had a cow doll for plastic bags before...we keep all our bags to reuse too, you're very forsightful Mrs shep (new made-up word there, careful now)

[Bag Lady]

Just thought of one my son got away with (and shows how naieeve(?) he was)

Pete was 15 and he and his mates were going to a party. As he bent to get a drink from the fridge there was a loud whack on the floor as something fell out of his pocket.

It was a large pack of cannabis....must have weighed loads. Pack was size of postcard - and heavy. Not resin....nice green stuff......

I asked what he was doing with it, he said it was for the party and all the lads had clubbed together to buy it. He brought it home because he said none of the others were allowed to.......I said if he got caught with it he would be done for dealing ...."No Mum"" he said all wide eyed and inocent. "If I get caught my mates will say it is theirs"......Luckilly he did not get caught and I believe it was a hell of a good party...

[Abb]

Never been arrested, however if I had not been lucky on one occasion, I would now, 4 years on, still be doing porridge for what I did.

Couple of my mates, on a stag party in Birkenhead, nearly got arrested after capturing a WWII German Submarine (it's on the quayside)

The police showed up to find my mates stood on it waving a Union Jack and singing 'Rule Britannia'

Swift talking saved the marriage from being ruined - as they were Groom and Best Man :D

[mr.chaz]

First arrest was funniest- stole a 30mph sign. A whole sign , ripped it up from the ground and carted it off. Them's heavy muthas to get out of the ground.
All but one of us scarpered when the pigs came - he stayed with the sign cos he loved it soo much. We couldn't leave him alone with it ( cos we loved it too) so went back for him - big mistake!

Photo and fingerprints us. Searches us - " Stoppit , I'm ticklish" says I.
Empties the pockets - all three of us goes like this.... bike keys , knife , wallet , knife , few quid , knife , sunglasses , knife , bottle opener , knife.
Then the copper stands us against the wall and says " When I move my thumb to the left or right , I want you all to lean that way"
He moves thumb left.... we alll lean to the left.
He moves thumb right.... we all lean right
He moves thumb forward... we all lean forward.

Then he says, " What am I holding in my hand ?"

We all looks at each other and shrug.

" A remote control for a dickhead! " he says.

After a night in the cells , we got kicked out at sunrise and cautioned.

Can't say any of the other times have been much fun ( well there was that time they pulled us on firearm charges and closed the whole M65 off at 2am in the morning...), although I must stress that I ain't got a criminal record ( apart from one of Jonny's old one's) and have never been charged with anything that has stuck. My hands are clean and so's my conscience!! :D

[Dougie]

Never been arrested,more by luck than judgement.Apart from getting stopped for doing 85 in a 60 3 days after passing my bike test(got away with it by looking really sorry and doing the "yes officer,no officer,I'm sorry I won't do it again officer" routine) the closest I've been was,when home on R&R from N.Ireland,three of us,totally ratarsed,started hard-targeting from shop doorway to shop doorway.It was dark so it must have looked INCREDIBLY suspicious.Polis car came round the corner and the driver nearly crashed after seeing 3 drunken combat & leather jacketed loonies charging about like they were on the Falls Road!

I HAVE,on the other hand,made an arrest,but that's another story........

[kitkatman]

My two most notable arrests were one for riot, and another for threatening to set a copper on fire. (The fact that I had a full and open can of petrol in my hand at the time may have swayed that one...)
well what can i say............ i am pissing myself with laughter....... exellent! :D

[kitkatman]

Never been arrested,more by luck than judgement.Apart from getting stopped for doing 85 in a 60 3 days after passing my bike test(got away with it by looking really sorry and doing the "yes officer,no officer,I'm sorry I won't do it again officer" routine) the closest I've been was,when home on R&R from N.Ireland,three of us,totally ratarsed,started hard-targeting from shop doorway to shop doorway.It was dark so it must have looked INCREDIBLY suspicious.Polis car came round the corner and the driver nearly crashed after seeing 3 drunken combat & leather jacketed loonies charging about like they were on the Falls Road!

I HAVE,on the other hand,made an arrest,but that's another story........
i got a £400 fine and 3days for nicking a 3 tonne and shunting another up the arse whilst i was supposed to be on centry duty, also a 6 month ban from the naafi! not a good day out.

[madastoast]

got arrested for affray for bollockin a git who stuck two fingers up at me after trying to knock me off then his bird got out the car and started beltin' me till our lass knocked her back in the car then she got arrested for assault so agood day was had all round :D

[Spike]

Got arrested for firearms, but got it down to offensive weapon, as it was only a replica. I also had to explain to the copper on the desk, how to "make it safe" LOL

[HEATZ]

lent my bike to a mate he breaks down at marble arch leaves the bike there to go get tools ect cops arive at my door and arest me for causing a bomb scare in central london :D

took em 24 hours to work out i couldnt have left the bike there myself!!!!
(i think the cruches and full lenght leg plaster cast gave it away........)

[Blue]

It has just been pointed out to me by my Mum that when I was sixteen I was arrested for hijacking a train. Which is true.

[hellkat]

I have yet to do anything worthy of being arrested.

I tried a few weeks ago, even offered my wrists to the officer who visited me with Questions To Be Answered - but in the end, he declined :D

[blackhack]

by blue....when I was sixteen I was arrested for hijacking a train. Which is true.

theres a story here I think.....go on...do tell....

[Blue]

theres a story here I think.....go on...do tell....

Years ago, BNFL used to transport nuclear waste from Sizewell power station up to Windscale (or Sellafield for those of you who've gone metric) by train. The train, manned by a crew of two, would wend its way across Suffolk on a tiny branch line which had a number of unmanned crossings on it. When the train reached a crossing it would have to stop, one of the blokes get out, open the gates, let the train cross where it would have to stop again on the other side to wait for blokey to close the gates again.

This struck some of us as somewhat lacking in the security department (especially as the train did this journey at the same time every week) so, one week, half a dozen of us lay in wait for the train, waited until it approached one of the unmanned crossing, and went and sat down in front of the gate, preventing it from being opened.

There then followed some moments of the two train crew shifting around from foot to foot and the driver threatening to run the train over the lot of us if we didn't move. They didn't want to call the police because of the publicity (too late, we'd already called the press and TV), so one of them trotted off to a call box and rang the manager of Sizewell power station who came out and pleaded with us to go home. Eventually the police were called and we got arrested, and were detained long enough so that we missed seeing ourselves on the local news! Technically (and we checked this out beforehand) we hadn't really committed a crime; we made sure we were sitting on the road surface and not the rails, so we couldn't be done under BR transport law and, in the middle of a lot of anti-nuclear feeling, BNFL wouldn't prosecute because of the publicity.

But I did get cautioned for 'hijacking and impeding the passage of a train'. And banned from every nuclear power station in the country which, obviously, put a bit of a crimp in my social life.

[Huw Beer Monster]

<snip most of tale>But I did get cautioned for 'hijacking and impeding the passage of a train'. And banned from every nuclear power station in the country which, obviously, put a bit of a crimp in my social life.

*applause*

[mr.chaz]

Years ago, BNFL used to transport nuclear waste from Sizewell power station up to Windscale (or Sellafield for those of you who've gone metric) by train. The train, manned by a crew of two, would wend its way across Suffolk on a tiny branch line which had a number of unmanned crossings on it. When the train reached a crossing it would have to stop, one of the blokes get out, open the gates, let the train cross where it would have to stop again on the other side to wait for blokey to close the gates again.

This struck some of us as somewhat lacking in the security department (especially as the train did this journey at the same time every week) so, one week, half a dozen of us lay in wait for the train, waited until it approached one of the unmanned crossing, and went and sat down in front of the gate, preventing it from being opened.

There then followed some moments of the two train crew shifting around from foot to foot and the driver threatening to run the train over the lot of us if we didn't move. They didn't want to call the police because of the publicity (too late, we'd already called the press and TV), so one of them trotted off to a call box and rang the manager of Sizewell power station who came out and pleaded with us to go home. Eventually the police were called and we got arrested, and were detained long enough so that we missed seeing ourselves on the local news! Technically (and we checked this out beforehand) we hadn't really committed a crime; we made sure we were sitting on the road surface and not the rails, so we couldn't be done under BR transport law and, in the middle of a lot of anti-nuclear feeling, BNFL wouldn't prosecute because of the publicity.

But I did get cautioned for 'hijacking and impeding the passage of a train'. And banned from every nuclear power station in the country which, obviously, put a bit of a crimp in my social life.

Obviously , it wasn't you that nicked the plutonium that they announced they lost this morn?
Better have a check on EBay then.....

[Spike]

Blue, i salute you, an all the deeds you have said in this thread :D

*mental note to self, DO NOT upset Blue.....*


:p

[technoboiler]

Blue, i salute you, an all the deeds you have said in this thread :D

*mental note to self, DO NOT upset Blue.....*


:p


pmsl,,,have you just worked out .........no1 upsets blue... ;)

[Spike]

Not twice by the sounds of it :o

[INDIANDRAG]

:D once got arrested for riding me pushbike between Lossiemouth and Elgin in Scotland-so ratted that couldn`t stop riding into both left and right verges.Was thrown in back of van with tread-iron,and dropped off at house with a caution.FOUND OUT IT IS AS MUCH AN OFFENCE AS DRINK DRIVE/RIDING MOTORBIKE :rolleyes:

[kitkatman]

Years ago, BNFL used to transport nuclear waste from Sizewell power station up to Windscale (or Sellafield for those of you who've gone metric) by train. The train, manned by a crew of two, would wend its way across Suffolk on a tiny branch line which had a number of unmanned crossings on it. When the train reached a crossing it would have to stop, one of the blokes get out, open the gates, let the train cross where it would have to stop again on the other side to wait for blokey to close the gates again.

This struck some of us as somewhat lacking in the security department (especially as the train did this journey at the same time every week) so, one week, half a dozen of us lay in wait for the train, waited until it approached one of the unmanned crossing, and went and sat down in front of the gate, preventing it from being opened.

There then followed some moments of the two train crew shifting around from foot to foot and the driver threatening to run the train over the lot of us if we didn't move. They didn't want to call the police because of the publicity (too late, we'd already called the press and TV), so one of them trotted off to a call box and rang the manager of Sizewell power station who came out and pleaded with us to go home. Eventually the police were called and we got arrested, and were detained long enough so that we missed seeing ourselves on the local news! Technically (and we checked this out beforehand) we hadn't really committed a crime; we made sure we were sitting on the road surface and not the rails, so we couldn't be done under BR transport law and, in the middle of a lot of anti-nuclear feeling, BNFL wouldn't prosecute because of the publicity.

But I did get cautioned for 'hijacking and impeding the passage of a train'. And banned from every nuclear power station in the country which, obviously, put a bit of a crimp in my social life.
i raise my glass to you sir, that is impressive

[Blue]

i raise my glass to you sir, that is impressive

You may raise your glass to me, but I am definitely not a 'sir'. (I can produce references!) Madam will do. ;)

[mr.chaz]

should we bow or courtsy ma'am?
don't want to ruffle my frock!

[kitkatman]

figure of speech madam, one will holy apolagise...... i am talking siht here, too many beers and not enough smoke......are you well! :D

[GSX Hooligan]

stupidiest thing arrested for :

criminal damage to a step.

i kid you not - a concrete step!

[Tony Blair PM]

my son is too stupid for word


madame blue is that where the missing plutonium went?

[Friar Tuck]

Madame Blue?

Didn't know she ran a knocking shop as well!













*OOOOOOOOHHHHH SSShhhhh*****TTTTTTT!*
I'm surely for it now!

[chimaera]

never been arrested but came close to it when I pulled a flick knife on an armed copper in Panama city in the early 70's. My mates grabbed me, threw me in a taxi and got me back to the ship very quickly and luckily we sailed the next morning. Talk about sailing close to the wind, I was bolloxed after spending all evening drinking local rum and got really wound up over something so decided to take it out on a copper. What a dickhead !!!!!!!

[Jay]

Never been arrested as such, but we were removed from the runway at RAF lyneham, where we had been caught driving up and down it in a banana yellow Fiat 127 full of Grolsch.

One of us had a short career in the RAF!

[Sir Ewok]

Just remembered the scariest arrest in my life, don't Laugh.

Getting arrested by Nigerian 'Boy Scouts'

The 'Boy Scouts' were in fact a form of armed traffic police who patroled the streets of Lagos looking for victims to rob or bribe. back in the late 70's Nigeria had a Military government and they had refused to pay companies like McAlpines (who did the roads) and other foreign countries for work carried out. Thus the telephones did not work, as the Italian company that installed them had wisely kept certain important bits back. The only way to get anything was to physically go for it yourself, which meant the roads were constantly clogged with vehicles. To alleviate the mess you could only enter Lagos on Mon, Wed and Friday if you had an odd number at the end of your licence plate and Tues, Thus, Saturday with an even number. The only exceptions were buses and delivery vehicles. We had a mini bus and were arrested and taken to the police station. The paperwork was demaned and we showed them the photocopy of the MOT and logbook. The copper looks at them (upside-down) and declares them to be for a different vehicle. We are then herded into the police station to await 'Trial' in front of a senior officer. The 'Boy Scout' who had arrested us showed the papers to the Sergeant to ensure he had a valid charge. The sarge also looking at the papers upside-down also declares them to be false. To anybody who has ever been in a third world jail it is an experience, to say the least. A rusty ceiling fan that only redistributes the body, foot and other odours from the fellow criminals, hard wooden benches worn smooth by years on African butts and a cell at the other end that would make Abu-Hamsa cry, crowded with too much humanity. Very, Very Scarey.
Finally we go before the officer, who is not in a good mood. The 'Scout hands the paperwork to the officer upside-down and starts to talk rapidly in Yoruba. The officer asks us to plead to the charges as laid out. Fortunately we had a guy who was experienced with us and he said that we worked for Coca-Cola (which supplied the Police Club with Cola, free of charge, it was best too) and if they did not let us go the plant would be forced to shut down and their supply of Cola would dry up. The officer looked at the paperwork and realised they were the wrong way up, starts beating the 'Scout' heavily around the head and actually drew blood. We were given our papers and sent on our way with the promise of no more interference. One of the scariest hours I have ever had. As an aside, we were pulled up at a road block on Christmas Eve by a fully pissed off Nigerian Soldier with an MP3 'Greasegun' renowned for going off if you look at them wrong. He had to work, when he wanted to be home with his family and here were these white guys out getting pissed and enjoying themselves. He looked grim and kept working the cocking bolt of the gun, while a huge cloud or mosquitos awarmed round his head. Guys have been shot in these situations, one wrong word or look and you could be dead. We got to the front and he would not calm down, he was pissed with the mossies and his job. I smiled, pointed the mossies and says (Bang! Bang!) ie shoot the little bastards. He cracked and laughed his tits off. We quickly had a whip round ( a few quids worth of Naira and a half crate of Cola) and we went on our way). Most of the armed robbers in Nigeria are Police or Army.....