Huw Beer Monster
09-02-2005, 03:05 PM
1. What do you call a chav in a vault?
Safe
2. What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted
3. What do you call a chav in a box?
Innit
4. What do you call a chav in a white tracksuit?
All White
5. What do you call an Eskimo chav?
Innuinnit.
6. Why are chavs like slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight
of stairs.
7. What do you call a chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.
8. If you see a chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
It might be your bike.
9. What's the difference between a chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.
10. What's the first question at a chav quiz night?
"What you lookin' at?"
11. How do you get 100 chavs into a phone box?
Paint three racing stripes on it..
12. 2 chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
The police.
13. A chav walks into the local job centre, marches straight up to
the counter and said "Hi, I'm looking for a job".
The man behind the counter replies "Your timing is amazing. We've just got one in from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac twin daughters. You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes and wear the uniform provided. The hours are a bit long but the meals are provided. You also have to escort the young ladies on their overseas holidays. The Salary package is £200,000 a year".
The chav says "You're having me on!"
The man behind the counter says "Well you started it!"
14. A housing officer is helping a chavette fill in a form and asks for the name of her children. "Hmmmm Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne".
The housing officer questions the practicalities of calling all your children by the same name.
The chavette replies "It's great. If I want them to come in I just have to shout Wayne, your tea's ready and they all come together".
The housing officer says "yes, I see, but what if you only wanted to speak to one of them?"
"Easy, I call him by his surname."
Safe
2. What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted
3. What do you call a chav in a box?
Innit
4. What do you call a chav in a white tracksuit?
All White
5. What do you call an Eskimo chav?
Innuinnit.
6. Why are chavs like slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight
of stairs.
7. What do you call a chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.
8. If you see a chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
It might be your bike.
9. What's the difference between a chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.
10. What's the first question at a chav quiz night?
"What you lookin' at?"
11. How do you get 100 chavs into a phone box?
Paint three racing stripes on it..
12. 2 chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
The police.
13. A chav walks into the local job centre, marches straight up to
the counter and said "Hi, I'm looking for a job".
The man behind the counter replies "Your timing is amazing. We've just got one in from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac twin daughters. You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes and wear the uniform provided. The hours are a bit long but the meals are provided. You also have to escort the young ladies on their overseas holidays. The Salary package is £200,000 a year".
The chav says "You're having me on!"
The man behind the counter says "Well you started it!"
14. A housing officer is helping a chavette fill in a form and asks for the name of her children. "Hmmmm Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne".
The housing officer questions the practicalities of calling all your children by the same name.
The chavette replies "It's great. If I want them to come in I just have to shout Wayne, your tea's ready and they all come together".
The housing officer says "yes, I see, but what if you only wanted to speak to one of them?"
"Easy, I call him by his surname."