Uber sparrows...

[Fran]

Any ornithologists out there know if sparrows in general are getting bigger or is it just my window all the lardy little b*stards come to? :confused:

[Bosun]

by the size of the droppings i think they are all eagles now :eek:

[Sheltie]

You could always catch a couple and roast them like poussin.

[Fran]

More like Bernie Clifton's ostritch! :eek:

[Bosun]

in which case can i have a leg please

[Yoda]

Any ornithologists out there know if sparrows in general are getting bigger or is it just my window all the lardy little b*stards come to? :confused:

haven't you worked this one out yet

the secret plot is that the government are feeding sparrows more and playing with their genes to make them bigger
this is so cats can catch them easier, meaning cats get fatter
making cats fatter slows them down so dogs can can catch them and eat them, thus making the dogs fatter
making dogs fatter will make them have all different ailments causing increased vet bills.
increased vet bills means more profit for vets.
more profit for vets means more tax for the government.

see it is a very simple plot if you think it through

Yoda

[Fran]

haven't you worked this one out yet

the secret plot is that the government are feeding sparrows more and playing with their genes to make them bigger
this is so cats can catch them easier, meaning cats get fatter
making cats fatter slows them down so dogs can can catch them and eat them, thus making the dogs fatter
making dogs fatter will make them have all different ailments causing increased vet bills.
increased vet bills means more profit for vets.
more profit for vets means more tax for the government.

see it is a very simple plot if you think it through

Yoda
So the V in V.A.T stands for vet! Surely such a diabolicle plan should have been thought up first by Ewok & Tuck Inc.?

[Strider]

Never mind the sparrows, its he pigeons you have to watch out for!!!

[krammer]

...not saying my wife is a bit thick or anything (she's from dorset :D ) but a few years ago she came running into the house all breathless like saying theres a pelican in the garden! well i thought, how odd anyway followed her outside and there was a big aquatic bird but it was a heron!.

[kitkatman]

Any ornithologists out there know if sparrows in general are getting bigger or is it just my window all the lardy little b*stards come to? :confused:
are you sure that you did'nt look in the fridge and spot a chicken!!!

[Fran]

[QUOTE=kitkatman]are you sure that you did'nt look in the fridge and spot a chicken!!![/QUOTE


They're like sparrows on steroids!One just tapped my window & asked for a fish supper! :eek:

[Grav]

They could be Starlings.

[krammer]

the sparrow population seems to be in decline around here but the number of maggies has shot up, methinks there may be a connection

[Fran]

Nope.Definitely sparrows.They seen off the starlings & dive bomb the cats with nuts!

[kitkatman]

Nope.Definitely sparrows.They seen off the starlings & dive bomb the cats with cats!
not midget valtures then!
they could have run away from the circus

[Dougie]

Seriously,some of these are twice the size of normal sparras!I'm getting feart to go out the back to feed 'em in case I get mugged! :eek: :eek:

[Bosun]

still sure they are vulturettes

[Jay]

"......and so it was written that after 40 days and 40 nights, the rains would cease and only the strong will have survived..."

Now I don't wanna start a panic, but these SPARROWS might know something, cause it's been raining here most of the day!

Follow one home and see if it's got a boat on the drive or any sub-aqua lung kit

[kitkatman]

no rain in bedford today, mind you we have the brick yards by us, i'm suprised we have any wildlife

[Spike]

p*ssin down in Cov, and the dog chaces all the birds in the garden, so there all slim round here...

[Fran]

"
Follow one home and see if it's got a boat on the drive or any sub-aqua lung kit

Don't say that! There's a canal at the end of our garden and since these sparrows are getting too fat to fly they've been boating across!

[Sheltie]

Our problems are with starlings, hooded crows and the stray raven. Not to mention the gulls that mug the local cats (pussies that they are)


Worst one ever wasthe shag in the front of the house, couldn't get to my bike till it decide to p1ss off.

[Shep]

Any ornithologists out there know if sparrows in general are getting bigger

Gotta be caused by global warming........well everything else is!

[Fran]

Worst one ever wasthe shag in the front of the house, couldn't get to my bike till it decide to p1ss off.

Nothing worse than an awkward shag in front of your house! (sorry...couldn't resist!) :p

[Sheltie]

Nothing worse than an awkward shag in front of your house! (sorry...couldn't resist!) :p
I know I can always count on you

[Dougie]

Like Fran sez,it's hoaching with sparras here.but they have their predators.I was sitting watching them one day when they got bounced by a sparrowhawk!Spectacular!

[Sir Ewok]

Those huge sparrows could be Female Blackbirds or Dunnets.

[Dougie]

Nope,we know what they look like.The Ubers look just like normal sparrows,just 50% bigger! :eek:

[Sir Ewok]

Can't be, the government say they have inflation under control. Could they be eating Junk food....Supersize me! :D

[Dougie]

Shyte!Just had a thought,mebbe we're feeding them GM seed & nuts! :eek:

[Fran]

Gotta cutback on the kebabs for the troops....