accidents at work

[Gypsy]

ok you all had a good giggle at the accident prone plonker, got me to thinking of all the funny accidents people have at work .

like the time i got me hand trapped in the panel door of a transit, the old ones with the slam locks that take TWO hands to open.... most embarrasing that was :D

also see one of my mate fall thro a suspended ceiling to land on some office girls desk... the screams could be heard for miles :D

[Jonnyfp]

I plead the 5th again..

[TaxiDave]

I once did a few days cover for my mate while he was ill, delivering stationary. Anyway I got in the back of the Citroen Berlingo van to get something I couldn't reach and the wind slammed the door. Picture the scene, no inside door handles, a cage stopping me from climbing into the front and me banging like feck for 20 minutes until someone came and opened the door from outside.
Not exactly an accident, but my mate needed treatment because he almost ruptured himself laughing when I told him.

[Dougie]

Not a work accident,but a couple of years after I moved in with Fran I decided that it was about time the leccy fire was wired into the proper purpose made socket.Now,this had been hanging out the wall since herself had had the same idea but thought better of it.So,armed with a srewdriver,leccy tape and a little knowledge i had a look,forgetting to turn the power off........
ZAP!!Big flash,shower of sparks,me across the other side of the room so fast Fran didn't see me move!
And then..........






I did it again! :eek:
Then I switched off the power.
Fran didn't stop laughing for the rest of the night.

[technoboiler]

i recently had to climb on the fence next to my shed to find a spare bit of perspex to slide my chop onto the trailer,,,,,,its so low u c,,it was sticking ,,and the scrapey noises were making me feel sick

anyhoo,,,jumped backwards down from said fence and landed on padlock hasp thingy on shed door,,,right on my fat arse,,,scraped and bruised i was,,,and the air was blue! :eek:

[Bosun]

years ago when working for texas i was standing on supposedly a solid display unit ( for doors) stacking loft insulation

there was a slight groan/cracking noise and i went through floor ( roof of unit) landed on loft insulation below and stepped out of door below


in process though got a scaphoid fractue (one of bones in wrist) and had to have days off ....

boss miffed stacking wasnt finished

[technoboiler]

fayji
you would have a fortnight off for a fekin broken flask :p

[Bosun]

its 6 weeks and councelling for a papercut :)

[JOE]

during summer work on a farm, leading bales, one of the full time labourers manged to tip his trailer twice in the same day - man its funny watching a boy racer get brought down a peg or two

[Strider]

Sorta work ........ I used to do some roadying around the clubs and was at some club up dunston or summat like that (TB, the concert chairman was always doing bit parts in when the boat comes in and other NE things like that).

Anyway he inssited that the curtains remain shut while we setting up, so he me humping this 4x12 onto the PA stack and I slipped and grabbed the curtain, unfortunately the edge of the curtain was the edge of the stage .............. yes I fell through, ripped the curtain off and onto the tables, scattering beer and drinks all over the place.

Got a bigger round of applause than the band did that night, and a few stiches and ripped me jeans. Ended up going to the A&E for stiches after we had packed up for the night, spent the night oozing blood over everything with a rag and bog roll wrapped around my arm :rolleyes:

[Kingo]

1982 Christening day for our youngest son, at the time we had a pyranian mountain dog ( they are BIG ) any way the wife says he wants to go out, so got the lead and he gets all exited ,put the lead on him and he starts pulling me all over the place ,so I gave a big tug on the lead and it broke, I went backwards and put my elbow through the glass widow in the back door slicing into my arm, off I went to the hospital to got it stiched.
Got back home and decided to take the broken glass out of the window when the bloody DOG knocked me slitting my thumb open so back to the hospital to see the same Doctor he looked at me and said I dont think you will be comming back again and set about giving me the most painful stiches I have ever had. :mad:

[Fran]

When I first left school I worked in a supermarket .I was stacking milkcrates & trapped my boob between the crates!Hurt like hell & still have the only bruised nipples in the accident book to this day.(as far as I know) :eek:

[Mrs Reject]

Heheheheheee, bruise nips eh? that must have taken some explaining!!! :D
Reminds me of the time (hohohoho, shouldn't laff really) when Mitch fell over his big feet down the stairs at work, as he fell to near death dwn this flight of stairs shouting BOOOOOLLLLLOOOOCKS!!!!! all the way down landing at the feet of clients down below - God knows what they must have thought :D
I had to come out and take him to hospital, his boss was not amused!

[technoboiler]

Sorta work ........ I used to do some roadying around the clubs and was at some club up dunston or summat like that (TB, the concert chairman was always doing bit parts in when the boat comes in and other NE things like that).

Anyway he inssited that the curtains remain shut while we setting up, so he me humping this 4x12 onto the PA stack and I slipped and grabbed the curtain, unfortunately the edge of the curtain was the edge of the stage .............. yes I fell through, ripped the curtain off and onto the tables, scattering beer and drinks all over the place.

Got a bigger round of applause than the band did that night, and a few stiches and ripped me jeans. Ended up going to the A&E for stiches after we had packed up for the night, spent the night oozing blood over everything with a rag and bog roll wrapped around my arm :rolleyes:

lol,,,the place would be ryton wms club and the guy in question harry,,,,,pmsl,,too funny

[kitkatman]

here's a bit of a yarn for ya,
when i first started at the brewery as a drayman 15 years ago, i was being shown the ropes by one of the old timers ( poor old farts dead now ) and we were delivering to the cross keys, woolstone, milton keynes.
the landlord at the time had a really annoying yappie little dog, which was an absolute pain in the arse for creeping up behind you and yapping it's little head off.
mark was teaching me how to drop a barrel ( 36 gallon ) from the lorry and onto the mat without splitting the bloody thing, because as they weighed a quarter of a ton, it was a bloody truama getting the things back on the lorry again.
well this dog was out in the yard, yapping and making a general nuisance of itself and then i dropped the barrel as it ran between my legs,
there was a deathly silence..
we both stared giggling, i dare not move this barrel of the pad as i thought i had squashed the landlords dog as flat as a pancake.
as i was just moveing the pad to see the devastation i had caused, the f++king dog had run around the lorry and yapped, startling the both of us, mark slipped and fell down the cellar, breaking his ankle and i did actually piss myself through laughing so much.
mark the poor bastard was off for 6 weeks and i am still laughing sporadically even now.....

[Sir Ewok]

Myself, my mate Tony and this paddy were doing a job at McVities biscuits in North London. Some plonker had turned the heat of from the chocolate pipe(no, not that one, ya mucky pups) and allowed the whole lot to solidify. We had to strip the whole system down (about half a mile of jacketed pipe) which was up in the roof. Paddy grabs the two piece ladder and the chain block and strop. My mate say "Paddy, you've got the ladder the wrong way round". He replied that he knew and then proceeded to climb it and throw the strop over the purlings. As he strained to clip the chain block into the strop, the ladder fell apart. Talk about the luck of the Irish, the clip caught the strop as he fell, leaving him danglig about 15 foot in the air. Jesus! Mary! Hol Mother of God! was all Paddy could scream as me and Tony rolled about pissing ourselves with laughter.
We also heard that when he did a job on a factory roof, he fell through and landed in a 45 gallon drum of grease, took 3 peeps to get him out.

Worked with a twat called 'Killer Colin' 'cos he did his best to bloody kill himself and others close to him with his work practises. We had worked at Vauxhalls in Luton and had pinched one of the plugs for the lighting to use on the 110 volt transformer. The plug had the same pins as a three pin plug, except the Earth was round and the others square. When we moved onto the next job (Nabiscos at Welwyn Garden City) he took the Earth pin out and instead of clipping the wire, he left it loose in the plug. Using the time worn pencil in the Earth port routine allowed us to use it as normal. Me and Tony had been using it all morning when 'Killer' asked to borrow it. He picked it up and walked away, grabbed a machine and proceeded to kick the steel cased transformer. Tony had his back to him and I said "Look at him, he's fucked it up already". Tony jumps up and switches off the socket, as he realised he was getting an electric shock. His comment " I feel much better now"!

[pingusprogressed]

managed to stick a meat hook through my finger when working in butchers shop, also tried to catch a mincer cutting blade as it fell too floor (now that was stupid)poxy instinctive thing to do though

[Doro]

When I first left school I worked in a supermarket .I was stacking milkcrates & trapped my boob between the crates!Hurt like hell & still have the only bruised nipples in the accident book to this day.(as far as I know) :eek:



you just reminded me, when I was at my last place I had to work shifts, and the change in sleep pattern must have effected me hormones or summat cos my boobs suddenly went up two sizes and were quite solid (and sore :( ), if I hadn't known better I would have been doing pregnancy tests..!!

anyway I wasn't used to them suddenly being bigger, and I kept whacking them off door frames when I went through, wondering why I was suddenly so clumsy, but the worst bit was when I was clamping some co-ax in the vice ready to solder the ends on, and I was leaning over it and nearly jammed me boobs in..!!!


we also had some giant cutters for the really big cables, the ones with small jaws but huge long handles, yep jammed them in those too whilst closing said handles


this went on for a few months and I was glad when it all went back to normal :eek:

[Strider]

Bet Gypsy enjoyed kissing them better tho ;)

[smeghead]

a couple that spring to mind

one of our guys was working on a copier and it had chain and sprocket drive now the chain ran for about 4 feet and had six sprockets in it, the guy had been sneezing all morning so he removes the back and starts running the machine to lubricate the sprockets, then he sneezed his finger got stuck in the chain and was whizzing around,i was pissing myself laughing at him he got away with a cut finger

another guy was working on a copier and touched a live heatsink all our heatsinks are normally isolated , so guy touches heat sink gets thrown back ,sits there looking puzzeled and had 3 more goes before he realised it should be like that.

the funniest one i had was i was working on a mini and some how got me screwdriver touching the fan belt ,screwdriver span round and stuck just beneth my eye, so i wander off to the managers office(he was the first aider) he took one look at me with blood pouring down my face and passed out the bastid.

the last one i had was putting up my workshop i was drilling the roof panels and was down to my last drill bit, and i dropped the drill like a twat i tried to save the drill grabbed it and fell off the roof so now im led in the garden in some dog **** in agony and proudly holding the drill aloft, thinking at least i saved the drill bit my lad come running over paniking takes the drill off me and threw it across the garden breaking the drill bit, i could have killed him at that point

[Sir Ewok]

Was working as a welders mate in Carlsberg brewery while it was being built. We had to burn some holes in a dustbin full of rubbish to make it into an incinerator. The welder had stood the bottles on some lumps of rough concrete and as he moved round the bin, which was now burning merrily, he pulled the bottles over. The neck and valve snapped straight off the actelyne bottle and gas was pissing out all over the place. I sat astride the bottle to stop it rolling about and managed to shut the bottle off. If I hadn't, God knows what would have happened. On the same site we were sent to dismantle two huts and put them together as one for the new canteen. We had pretty much finished and only had the roof felt left to put on. The welder was wary about going up on the roof and sent me up, as he said that if it would take my weight, it would take his. I got to the apex and said, look it's quite safe just as the roof collapsed into the hut below. I was laying on the floor, rather shocked and dazed when the welder opened the door rushed in, running up thwe roof panel that was on my ankle and broke it. Went to the hospital, who x-rayed it, but missed the fracture. I went back to work and worked for three days with a fractured ankle, carrying Oxygen and Acetelyne bottles, piping etc. Eventually the boss spotted me limping around and sent me back to the hospital and I ended up off work for 5 weeks.
More recently I was welding when a hot blob went down inside my overalls and landed up on my bell-end. It burnt right through and I pissed two ways for a while, till it healed up. Shiiiiit, did it hurt, I never went to the quacks as it would have been too embarrasing..... :eek:

[defarter]

Back in the late sixtys i worked for an oil company that was sited on the river thames, the tea hut that we used for our breaks was on the end of a small jetty that sat about 25/30 feet out into the river, like most people we always tried to hang it out and make the tea break that bit longer and on that day it was a realy thick pea souper [fog] and you could not see a hand in front of your face...after a couple of warnings from the foreman we got up of our arses and started back to work, just as we steped of the jetty a large tug appeared out of the fog he managed to miss the jetty but the string of barges behind him did'nt..
The jetty and tea room were never seen or heard of again.
As a bunch of 18/19 year olds we thought it was really funny and fell about laughing.. as I've got older i still get flash backs of that day thinking about how it could of ended...

[Dougie]

Not an accident AT work,but when I was working at Mossmorran Ethylene plant in Fife,I was doing 12 hour shifts for 28 days straight,up at 5,start at 6,finish at 7pm,home by 7.30.So,three weeks into the contract I was pretty knackered.One morning I was making cheese sandwiches for my lunch,still half asleep.As i was slicing the cheese the (very very sharp) knife slipped and cut my left thumb badly.I felt it grate on the bone! :eek: Stopped the bleeding after 10 minutes,taped it up,off to work.Couple of days later,thumb's throbbing like a b*stard and looking swollen,so off to the works nurse who told me I was allergic to elastoplast.Told her I wasn't but she told me I must be and changed the dressing.Next day I couldn't get my work gloves on over the swelling and the pain was far worse so off to the hospital.When I told them what happened they said the likely explanation was some cheese had got in the cut,and because of the bacteria in it my thumb was very badly infected .They drained it,gave me a course of serious antibiotics and told me if I'd left it a couple days longer they'd be amputating it!! :eek:
Cheese is dangerous stuff!