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View Full Version : It's a long way till the weekend...


Bassman
01-02-2005, 03:17 PM
It is Tuesday... it's a long way to the weekend, and I am fed up...
So here's a couple of jokes that may help the midweek blues...

These three women were roommates. One night they all had all gone out on dates and all came home at about the same time.
The blonde said, "You know you've been on a good date when you come home with your hair all messed up."
The brunette said, "No, you know you've been on a good date when you come home with your makeup all smeared."
The redhead said nothing, but reached under her skirt, removed her panties and threw them against the wall, where they stuck. She said, "Now THAT'S a good date!!"

A man was visiting his wife in hospital where she has been in a coma for several years. On this visit, he decides to rub her left breast instead of just talking to her. On doing this, she lets out a sigh. The man runs out and tells the doctor who says this is a good sign and suggests he should try rubbing her right breast to see if there is any reaction. The man goes in and rubs her right breast and this brings a moan. From the doctors suggests the man should go in and try oral sex, saying he will wait outside as it is a personal act and he doesn't want the man to be embarrassed.
The man goes in then comes out about five minutes later, white as a sheet and tells the doctor his wife is dead. The doctor asks what happen to which the man replies: "She choked."

:D

Sir Ewok
02-02-2005, 03:24 AM
LOL! My weekend starts at 01.30 Friday morning...... Roll on.

Friar Tuck
02-02-2005, 06:47 AM
Wednesday! Halfway there!

Jim
02-02-2005, 08:33 AM
Funeral on Friday.

What a way to start the weekend !

technoboiler
02-02-2005, 01:56 PM
the week is my weekend,,,, :p

blackhack
02-02-2005, 02:22 PM
Its ok for you lot.....I start work again on thusday night @ 5.pm...Till monday morning @ 4.am.......Bugger I HATE weekends.....

Sheltie
02-02-2005, 02:29 PM
My weekend starts tomorrow at 4pm. Bring it on:D

Bosun
02-02-2005, 11:09 PM
blaged a couple of days off mega long weekend :)

Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic School
Usually she slept through the class.

One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping.

"Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?"

When Mary Margaret didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend
sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.
"God Almighty!" shouted Mary Margaret.
The Nun said, "Very good" and continued teaching her class.

A little later the Nun asked Mary Margaret, "Who is our Lord and
Savior?"


But Mary didn't stir from her slumber Once again, Johnny came to
her rescue and stuck Mary Margaret in the butt.
"Jesus Christ!!!" shouted Mary Margaret and the Nun once again
said, "Very good," and Mary Margaret fell back asleep.

The Nun asked her a third question..."What did Eve say to Adam
after she had her twenty-third child?"

Again, Johnny came to the rescue.
This time Mary Margaret jumped up and shouted, "If you stick
that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"

The Nun fainted