Valentine Poems..

[Bassman]

Valentine Day

THESE ARE ACTUAL ENTRIES TO A NEWSPAPER COMPETITION ASKING
FOR A RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE BUT...THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss.
But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.
************************************************** ***
I thought that I could love no other.
Until, that is, I met your brother.
************************************************** ***
Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
************************************************** ***
Of loving beauty you float with grace.
If only you could hide your face.
************************************************** ***
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot.
This describes everything you are not.
************************************************** ***
I want to feel your sweet embrace.
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.
************************************************** ***
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
************************************************** ***
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.
************************************************** ***
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
************************************************** ***
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
************************************************** ***
My feelings for you no words can tell.
Except for maybe "go to hell".
************************************************** ***
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
************************************************** ***
:D

[mr.chaz]

Use the same one each year -it's the only one I know:

Roses are red
Violets are twisted.
Bend over my love.....
you're about to get fisted.

[Bosun]

Use the same one each year -it's the only one I know:

Roses are red
Violets are twisted.
Bend over my love.....
you're about to get fisted.


class pur class

[Fran]

You sent me your photo
I thought it was nice
I put it in the attic
To scare away the mice

[RedRobbie]

your timeless beauty
your loving embrace
flick back your locks
as i cum on your face

[kitkatman]

roses are red
violets are pink
i'm going back scuttle you
over the sink

[Friar Tuck]

Money's Short,
Times are hard,
Here's your F***ing Valentine's card!

[Sir Ewok]

Rockets are Red,
Bonnies are Blue,
I wanted a Motorbike,
But I ended up with you.............. :eek:

[Jay]

Oh love of mine
Oh beautiful
How much I do adore you

Remember the day
when we rolled in the hay
when your belly didn't arrive before you

[kitkatman]

ohh my darling, your teeth are like stars......they come out at night
your hair is like satin................**** thats been satin
your skin is like a million dollars.............. all green and crinkly

[Rabid1]

ohh my darling, your teeth are like stars......they come out at night
your hair is like satin................**** thats been satin
your skin is like a million dollars.............. all green and crinkly
Your skin is a peach............... a football peach
Your tits are like diamonds............. hard to find
You smell like a rose....... rose and rose of dustbins
Your lips are likr petals...............bicycle petals
your ears are like flowers ......... cauliflowers

[Jonnyfp]

You look like lassy with acne
you dance like biffo the bear
you buy all your clothes from oxfam
And you have lice in your pubic hair.

[Friar Tuck]

All my life!
I've been a kissin'
Your left tit!
Coz your right one's a missin'
Oh! Boy!

[RedRobbie]

Some Girls Like Money
Some Girls Like Fast Cars
You're Not Like The Others
You Like It Up The Arse

[Born2bVile]

Take the rollers from your hair,
Shake it loose and let it fall,
Put your false teeth in the glass,
On the cupboard by the wall.

Though your hair is old and grey,
And your breath smells out of sight,
I'll put a clothespeg on my nose,
To help me make it through the night.

Courtesy of Billy Connolly

Cheers,

Byrnie.

[Jay]

The hair on your tits
it tickled my lips
and made me al sneezy

[Sir Ewok]

You can rub it and scrub it and wash it like hell,
but you'll never get rid of that Grimby Town smell....... :p

[Bag Lady]

My love is like red,red,rose.
And when he cums it flows and flows.
So much - it runs out of my nose...... :D

[Yoda]

i got a couple

Because you dress just like a slag
does it mean i pay for a shag

or

sod the romance just give me 10 seconds and i will be done (it may not rhyme but could be truthful(i've heard)) not in my case ... oh no

or

i was gunna buy you a card but my nan died and i just spent the last of my money paying for her funeral
Ps Do i get a sympathy shag

Yoda

[Bag Lady]

How about this one....

I need you, I want you,Take me now...
I don't care where, I dont care how...
Just take me like you did last night
Long and strong and good and tight

You said you'd be my lifetime lover
You are my friend
You are .....MY MOTHER... :eek: