Jokes of the day...

[Bassman]

A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly. "Quick," said the woman to her lover, "into the closet!" She bundled him in the closet stark naked. The husband however became suspicious, and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet. "Who are you?" he asked him. "I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone." "What are you doing in there?" "I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths." "And where are your clothes?" asked the husband. The man looked down at himself and said, "Those little bastards!"

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little amused, explains to the woman that they don't sell rectum deodorant and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more. "I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any." "But I always get it here," the blonde protests. "Do you have the container it came in?" asks the pharmacist. "YES!" says the blonde, "I'll go home and get it." She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who examines it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant." Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads aloud from the container, "TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM!"

[Tom-madbiker]

an indian brave and his son are walking through the forest one day suddenly the indian jumps up and puts his ear to the ground and says to his son "buffolo come" wow says his son how do you know that dad "well" says the indian "um sticky face" :D

[RIDLER]

why did the chicken cross the road??? because..................... oh feck , aint ever been good at these joke things, feckling feck............ :confused: :rolleyes:

[bunbag]

The poor Irish, we do take the mickey

YOU GOTTA LAUGH

iRISH jOKE

PART ONE
Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop. Right away they go over to the bird section. Gerry says to Paddy, "Dat's dem" The shop assistant
comes over and asks if he can help them. "Yeah, we'll take four of dem
dere birds in dat cage op dere," says Gerry ,"Put dem in a peeper bag."
The assistant does and the two guys pay for the birds and leave
the shop. They get into Gerry's van and drive until they are high up in the hills and stop at the top of a cliff with a 500-foot drop. "Dis looks loike a grand place, eh?" says Gerry. He then takes two birds out of the bag, places them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff. Paddy watches as
his mate drops off the edge and goes straight down for a few seconds
followed by a 'SPLAT'.
As Paddy looks over the edge of the cliff he shakes his head and
says, "Fock dat, dis budgie jumpin' is too fockin' dangerous for me."

PART TWO
A minute later, Seamus arrives. He too has been to the pet shop
and he walks up carrying the familiar 'peeper bag'. He pulls a parrot
out of the bag, and then Paddy notices that in his other hand, Seamus is carrying a gun. "Hoi, Paddy. Watch dis," Seamus says and launches himself over the edge of the cliff. Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes out
the gun and blows the parrot's head off. Seamus continues to plummet until there is a 'SPLAT'!, as he joins Gerry's remains at the bottom. Paddy
shakes his head and says, "An' oim never troyin' dat parrotshooting nider."

PART THREE
A few minutes after Seamus splats himself Sean strolls up. He too has been to the pet shop and he walks up carrying the familiar 'peeper bag'.
Instead of a parrot he pulls a chicken out of the bag, and
launches himself off the cliff with the usual result. Once more Paddy
shakes his head
"Fock me Sean, first der was Gerry wit his budgie jumping, den
Seamus parrotshooting, and now you fockin hengliding".

[Sir Ewok]

Lmfao..... :d :d :d

[defarter]

Brill............. :D :D :D

[wegit]

Best Paddy joke I have heard in a LONG TIME http://www.100-biker.co.uk/forums/images/icons/icon7.gif

I just wish I could do the Irish accent so that I can tell it to me mates