Cannon Balls

[Mrs Reject]

This is a bit disgusting ok but in my never ending quest for universal truth I must ask difficult questions! :eek:
Someone at uni asked if I had ever had a cannon ball turd, apparently it is when you have one with a lot of wind trapped behind it and it emerges like a rocket to the surprise of the person reading 100% biker on the bog!
Sound familiar to any of you lot? :D

[RedRobbie]

No

I dont believe we have ever been on the toilet together, do you?

[Sir Ewok]

Oh! God yes, also shotgun arse which is similar but you get a better spread of shot. A flock of seagulls, from which the group was named, that watery one that flubbers and squirts, making a sound like a flock of seagulls taking off. Sh*tting through the eye of a needle, especially easy when you have aeomebic dysentry in the Nigerian Jungle. The rock, so solid it takes dynamite to remove it and many more anal wonders........ You could buy The Ewokandtuck Big Boys and Girls Dictionary of Poo, only £3,000.27 + EATT, VAT, P+P and Luxury Tax. Insurance extra...

[BikerGran]

I think Sir Ewok said it all!


Sounds like he did it all too.........


:D

[TaxiDave]

This is a bit disgusting ok but in my never ending quest for universal truth I must ask difficult questions! :eek:
Someone at uni asked if I had ever had a cannon ball turd, apparently it is when you have one with a lot of wind trapped behind it and it emerges like a rocket to the surprise of the person reading 100% biker on the bog!
Sound familiar to any of you lot? :D


Mrs R, up until now I thought you were a sex goddess but now that I know you poo, you've put me right off you!! :D

[Dougie]

Many years ago after Territorial summer camp,two weeks of eating compo rations and breathing cordite fumes I hadn't been in about 8 days.Some serious straining in the smallest room later I dropped something about ten inches long shaped like a trumpet mute (big ball end tapering away to the other end) and the consistency of concrete!I was walking like John Wayne for days! :eek:

[Bosun]

i do believe you have touched a subject close to all our hearts

when worried about a possible cannon ball

one should always lillyleaf the pond first to minimise splashback :D

[defarter]

about ten inches long shaped like a trumpet mute (big ball end tapering away to the other end) and the consistency of concrete!


Mrs DF asked would please post yer phone number :D

[Dougie]

Mrs DF asked would please post yer phone number :D
:eek: :eek: :eek:

[Mrs Reject]

Mrs R, up until now I thought you were a sex goddess but now that I know you poo, you've put me right off you!! :D

I certainly don't poo, it's my "friend' who has the problem!

[Fran]

I've noticed that in general when we women are going to "let rip" in a public or works toilet we'll sit there for ages until the coast is clear.I've been reliably informed that this is not the case in men's bogs. :eek:

[Bosun]

I've noticed that in general when we women are going to "let rip" in a public or works toilet we'll sit there for ages until the coast is clear.I've been reliably informed that this is not the case in men's bogs. :eek:


oh no in mens bogs its somrething to be proud of.. especially the "Not allowed to do them at home (post curry)" ones

[Fran]

oh no in mens bogs its somrething to be proud of.. especially the "Not allowed to do them at home (post curry)" ones
A friend of ours used to be banned from using the "sit-downs" in the pub he worked in as he only went every 2-3 days and used to block the toilets.He now owns his own pub so he can go whenever he wants!

[Bosun]

:D :D :D :eek:

[krammer]

there really is something very satisfying about having a crap though is'nt there? time and place allowing. some years ago i had what in aviation circles is known as a near miss, i'd had a curry on the saturday night and walking home from the pub on the sunday afternoon felt the old sphvincter start to twitch, as i crossed the canal bridge at the back of my garden i knew i just had to have a dump. the look on the guys faces who were in the middle of a fishing contest as i squatted and shat will haunt me for ever :o

[Fran]

felt the old sphvincter start to twitch, :o

At least I can count on that one muscle on my body always being toned! :D

[GarrysPhrogg]

Pat will tell you all that I never Pump, and Tina and bomber will confirm that, cos Tina never pumps either :)........... mind you Garry says I do small ones in my sleep and they stink, but i don't belive him I think he's having me on

Someone once said to me are You and Garry on Farting terms??? OMG i said "I never Fart" not even pump or break wind or cough in my pants or anything that rude and soul destroying *tut*

[longhorn]

At least I can count on that one muscle on my body always being toned! :D
It usually get's plenty of exercise on the bike in close proximity of volvo drivers :D

[Fran]

It usually get's plenty of exercise on the bike in close proximity of volvo drivers :D

Going like a rabbit's nostrils..... :eek: :eek: :eek:

[longhorn]

Going like a rabbit's nostrils..... :eek: :eek: :eek:
So that's how you get them raisin's :eek:

[Rogue Monkey]

I have heard of this Shot gun effect and I believe it afflicts those who have been the recipient of anal sex! Apparently the anal cavity is widened and the muscles are relaxed by constant Bum bashing! I havnt heard of a cure but I believe it to be prudent to wear an incontenace pad incase of unexpected blow backs! :o

[Sir Ewok]

Nothing to do with anal sex, more oral intake. Curry, sprouts, guiness, cabbage and Southern Comfort salads can give you 'Shotgun arse' without visiting George Micheal or Elton John. It is caused by a huge build up of gas behind the poo. The wetter the poo, the more the scatter :rolleyes: