Worst job ever

[RedRobbie]

What was your worst job ever.

I once delivered and then collected census forms on a notorious council estate in Liverpool. I was accused of being a cop, a DHSS nark, of shagging someones wife. The police followed me and had me marked as a drug pusher. I was attacked twice and I lost count of the threats. There was a cot chucked out of a block of flats aimed @ yours truely. It was only a temp job but wow , was it ever scary.

The above list is not complete but you get the idea.

[BikerGran]

Dunno about worst but the job I hated most was in a pie factory. I spent my first morning taking wrapped pies off the assembly line, and the afternoon putting the meat in the pork and egg pies and making holes for the eggs to go in. Went home at the end of the day and never went back!

[Dougie]

Door to door Soft drinks delivery driver.Hah!Did bugger all driving,just ran around rough estates carrying 8 bottles at a time,no bag for money and no float,you had to use your own money for change,then get it back at the end of the day.We could drink as much as we wanted but it was piss!Lasted less than two weeks then told them where to shove it,and when I went back to the dole they told me they'd NEVER send anyone for a job there as they were sh1te!
(I answered an ad in the paper.D'OH!!)

[Gypsy]

i packed brillo pads into the boxes ... used t end up every day with loads of wire wool inbedded into the skin of my hands .. feckin hated it but had to put up with it for 3 months, did used to have a bit of a laugh though... used to have a competition between us to see just how many pads we could squash into one box :D , they made good projectiles too :D

[defarter]

Sewing mail bags :o :o :D

[xjtriker666]

every-one i ever had bout 34 since leavin skool..........

[RedRobbie]

Things could be worse. You may have to mop up the jizz at an Amsterdam peepshow. Someone's gotta do it

[Friar Tuck]

Working as a night attendant at a petrol station in Corby! not only having to contend with a few drive offs, you'd get the all the drunks coming home at chuck up time!

Yup, one little hairy psuedo jock wanted a packet of fags, so I served him, and put his fags and change in the chute and pulled the cover back for him. Just as I pulled back the cover he promptly threw up into the chute! I made him take his fags and change before I had to clean it up! Yeugh! Lasted three months doing that!

[krammer]

as a council plumber i get some really 'choice' jobs, but the worst by far was when i was sitting in the van listening to the radio when a woman tapped on the glass and asked me if i could get into her neighbours house as she had not seen him for some time. after getting the break in authorised i gained access to the house and the smell hit me, the further up the stairs i went the stronger it got until eventually i came to the bathroom i pushed the door open and there in the bath was this dead guy. he had obviously been dead for a while because his guts had opened up and his skin had sloughed off. the contents of the bath looked like a giant dish of oxtail soup. end of part one :eek:

[chimaera]

when I was in the Navy I worked on a submarine support vessel that had been moored alongside plymouth dockyard and was used for it's workshop facilities. We had a Wren typing pool on board with it's own toilet (are you getting the picture) It regularly blocked up with the detritus that women exist with and i had the dubious pleasure of having to clear it. After several times I got so pissed off with getting my hands dirty that I left a bucket full of ****, tampons and towels in the middle of the typing pool for all the "ladies" to appreciate. Guess who was not a popular little sailor but all the lads thought it hilarious

[oggers80]

Applied for a job as a drivers mate once.Turned out it was cannon hygiene & we had to drive round collecting used sanny bins :eek: I lasted 3 days !!!

[cxdemon]

Things could be worse. You may have to mop up the jizz at an Amsterdam peepshow. Someone's gotta do it

Thankyou for that mental picture :eek:

Worst job, working for Toshiba doing microwaves, someone put a sign up saying please leave brain at reception! they weren't kidding :eek:

[Sir Ewok]

One contract i did meant working, laying on a plank over a pit of rancid fat, from biscuit making. It was six foot deep and smelt like a long dead ox. If you dropped any kit in it, the only way you could get it back was to fish with a magnet on a piece of string. My missus always had dinner ready when I got in 'cos she reckoned she could smell me half hour before I got home.

Another job was working out the back of Carlberg where the spent grain hoppers discharge into lorries, to make Spillers Dog Biscuits. It was 8 degrees below zero and right next to the canal, so you froze your nuts off. The only place we could shelter from the wind was a concrete bunker, felt like the German army in Russia.

Worked at EMI's doing racking and stuff and spent 3 weeks cleaning the ladies, to keep the contract open.

As an apprentice with the gas board, I had to help clean out Norwood Crem, the ash blocked the jets up. Also had to do the incinerators in the ladies bogs. One fitter hooked out a sanitary towel by the loop, being stuck it wouldn't shift, so he pulled harder. All of a sudden it came free, hurtled through the air and landed with a wet slap on the back of his mates neck....Luvverly! Had to do a check on an appliance where a geezer died in the bath, turned out it was lethal. Worked in many houses where your feet stick to the floor as you walk through, Yuuuk! Gassed a budgie by accident and the fitter glued it back on the perch. Went to a Spanish ladies house as her water heater wasn't working to find she'd been putting sanitary towels in it, thinking it was an incinerator. Also several houses where nappies and sanitary towels had just been thrown under the bed..... I loved that job, the best I ever had.

[Tim1400]

As a council bricklayer I agree with Krammer you see some sights . The TV show life of grime didn't show the half of it!!

[Dougie]

I know I've already posted,but one incident when I was in Northern Ireland with the army springs to mind.There was a city-wide raid (Belfast),we were looking for one of the Provos' top men.Myself,an officer,a couple Scots Guards and a woman monkey (Royal Military Police) had to raid a house on the Antrim Road.When we gained entry the Scots Guards sergeant (the officer was a waste of space-no surprise there) told me and the monkey to check upstairs.We went into the first room we came to,the bathroom,which was spotless as they never used it.Next room we came to I near threw my load.On a bare mattress covered with manky newspapers were three (or four,can't remember now) filthy undernourished kids,not one older than 5 or 6.There were so many fleas you could see the little buggers in the air,jumping.It was like something out of a horror film,sh1t in the corner,filth everywhere.All the family's spare money went to "The Cause".When we cot back to camp every one of us walked straight into the showers fully clothed,minus webbing and weapon.That is gonna haunt me till the end of my days.

[dracken1]

i once had to hand out leaflets to midland tourists visiting my welsh village.

i still get nitemares and cold sweats about that scarey time, thier not like normal people you know! thier strange! :eek:

[RedRobbie]

Did you give them a welcome up your valley

[Bosun]

i once had to hand out leaflets to midland tourists visiting my welsh village.

i still get nitemares and cold sweats about that scarey time, thier not like normal people you know! thier strange! :eek:


shorts and sandals in december?

[Nitrowing]

I did a 12 hour shift in a meat factory. Live cows at one end, boxes of frozen meat at the other. Me in between with pallets full of flat-packed cardboard boxes to unfold in the middle. Yes, they do scream all day long :(

[saxman]

working in a laundry,

removing farts from mattresses

[Fran]

Working behind the bar at a trendy Edinburgh club/disco where the doormen were gorillas who liked slapping daft kids around & the customers were daft kids who thought they ruled the world because they were old enough to buy a beer.Still proud of myself that I never had to press the panic button behind the bar to get the doormen to throw someone out.I used to do it myself!

[RedRobbie]

I was once offered a blowjob and I could still sign on too. Should have accepted it now that I look back :p

[speedtriplebbc]

Spent six long years tyre fitting. Had to lie in the gutters where the drivers have pissed in the layby to jack up a smelly bin lorry. On a good day I could be repairing sh1t covered 42" tractor tyres though!

[JOE]

Fran, that wasn't opium was it?

[Fran]

Fran, that wasn't opium was it?
It was the Cavendish.It was sort of trendy at the time (late 80's) I always got stuck on the kids bar.I've heard it can be like Jurassic park now. :eek:
That wasn't you I threw down a flight of steps was it? :D

[GarrysPhrogg]

Scampi factory age 15 stood shelling bloody scampi all day long...........best bit Was the boss thought i was 16 :D

[Mrs Reject]

My poor sprogg just got fired from his new job, it was marketing. He said it was sh1te!!! They were given impossible targets to meet and then fired for cutting corners to meet the targets i.e not reading the customer the full three page script.
He said everyone did it but because he wasn't part of the office in crowd and his face didn't fit he was the one that got fired.
Anyhow he has now realised that like me and Mitch he can't stick that kind of mealy mouthed arse hole laden, fake trendy office environment as is going to do manual or industrial work for a bit. He says at least you meet real people in industrial.

[JOE]

nah, never been thrown out of a bar in...

actually, no it was the mission - the old mission - the one with the propper miserable goth floor.

[Fran]

nah, never been thrown out of a bar in...

actually, no it was the mission - the old mission - the one with the propper miserable goth floor.
All sticky & covered in fag ends!There's somewhere I would have loved to work in.At least the music's usually good. :D

[ninjagal600]

Worst job i had was picking the cherries out of cherry brandy liquer chocolates of which had fallen on the fall etc etc and then putting them back in tray for use again...

[Rogue Monkey]

Wost job i had was changing a gastric drain bag on a medical admissions ward the morning after I`d got back from The bulldog! :eek:

[RedRobbie]

I once cleared a drain blocked with 4 weeks worth of ****e and there was semi digested sweetcorn everywhere . I cant even look at the stuff now

[fade2black]

Its a close call between having sloppy faeces thrown at me by angry person with learning disability or having to restrain for an hour large naked angry person with Learning Disability who had covered himself with faeces. I think on the balance rolling around on the floor was worse.

[Bassman]

We had a home shopping franchise for a few years... on one estate we wondered why when we drove round there, all the mums would rush out and drag their kids in... eventually one of the mums came up and asked us when the raid was gonna be and whos house were we going to raid... they thought we were drug squad!!! :D