Friday morning joke.

[Grav]

A teenage girl asks her mum,

"Is it true that babies come out of where boys put their penis?"

"Yes" says mum

"Fuckin' hell," says the girl, "wont that break my jaw?"

[Mad Liz]

A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.

'I don't want to know,' the child said, bursting into tears. 'Promise me you won't tell me.'

Confused, the father asked what was wrong.

The boy sobbed, 'When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech.
At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech.
When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech.

If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for.'

[Peirre]

Careful.......... with jokes like that lot, Nik will have no crap jokes to publish in the Mag ;)

[Mad Liz]

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here's what you do,' said the Doctor, 'stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.'

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, 'I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.' Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

No response.

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

(I just love this)

'Ralph, for the FIFTH F*ing' time, it's CHICKEN!!!!'

[Pugwash]

A blonde gets a job as a teacher. She looks out of the clasroom window and sees a bunch of kids playing, and one boy standing on his own away from the others, just watching them.
She goes over to the boy and tries to cheer him up.

"Those other boys seem to be having lots of fun"

"Yes they are" said the lad.

"You can have as much fun too you know"

"Yes I know" he replies.

"Why don't you run over there and join in with what they are doing? "

"I think it's best I stay over here" says the boy.

"Why is that?" she asks

"Coz I'm the fucking goalkeeper!"