View Full Version : Couple commit suicide over DIY (Daily Sh1te)
Mrs Reject
04-01-2005, 10:57 PM
Bloody hell, having no telly has got us into no end of trouble! The tiles on the kitchen floor were bodged by the last owner and are coming up + bit of mould underneath so instead of leaving them well alone until we have the cash to fix it all properly like normal people we couldn't resist and the whole feckin' floor is up now revealing all kinds of untold horrors, great holes into the cellar, missing bits of floor, great lumps of concrete we haven't a clue what to do with.
Will someone please come and shoot us and put us out of our misery - cats aren't happy either!
Now we have to hire a sander, buy bits of wood, buy lino or whatever and go to no end of trouble to fix it all up aarrggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :(
ForestFred
04-01-2005, 11:33 PM
Why dont you just go an have sex like any other normal couple :rolleyes:
WHOOPS! just spotted my mistake I said normal :D
Bosun
04-01-2005, 11:41 PM
were you ever good at jigsaws before?
BikerGran
04-01-2005, 11:44 PM
Just put it all back and pretend you never looked!
There y'go, sorted!
Bosun
04-01-2005, 11:47 PM
BG the voice of reason
BikerGran
04-01-2005, 11:56 PM
Errrrrrrr......
Am I insulted?
:p
chimaera
05-01-2005, 08:25 AM
Just get a few tinnies, play on the computer and 'er indoors will get so pissed off she'll do it herself
Mrs Reject
05-01-2005, 08:33 AM
Just put it all back and pretend you never looked!
There y'go, sorted!
We would but the tiles are now in millions of pieces and we're no good at jigsaws.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him until my lurgy has gone as it's extremely virulent and possibly sommat nasty picked up from a patient FF like pseudomonas combined with strep. My GP says minimal contact until it's cleared up!!!:eek:
It has given us an insight into the mentality of the previous owner tho'. Evidently someone who has watched too much Blue Peter and thinks, ahaa, a small hole, I will fill it with 60 buckets of concrete, noone will ever know :mad:
Then top it all with crappy orange boxes and plywood and put cement over that and superglue the cellar door down - honest to God I dread to think what we are going to find down there! We have to know now, we cannot rest until we have been down to the cellar.
Dougie
05-01-2005, 09:39 AM
Mebbe it's full of bodies.......WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
sorry.
Spike
05-01-2005, 09:46 AM
Mebbe it's full of bodies.......WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
sorry.
LMAO @ Dougie :D
wegit
05-01-2005, 09:48 AM
Go on..... Be a devil:
http://search.ebay.co.uk/tv_Widescreen_W0QQcatrefZC12QQfromZR40QQsacategory Z22639QQsojsZ1QQsosortorderZ1QQsosortpropertyZ1
Mrs Reject
05-01-2005, 10:15 AM
Go on..... Be a devil:
http://search.ebay.co.uk/tv_Widescreen_W0QQcatrefZC12QQfromZR40QQsacategory Z22639QQsojsZ1QQsosortorderZ1QQsosortpropertyZ1
Hahahaha, noooooo!:D First we must check out the cellar but naturally wait until midnight at halloween maximising our chances of being killed by a maniac.
Haha, I've just noticed that not only has the cellar door been glued AND cemented down under many layers of crap but he has also built a partition wall ON it, damn, now we are going to have to get the jigsaw out. It is all very mysterious. I've been in the other half of the cellar which is accessible through a hatch under the stairs but the kitchen part of the cellar is sealed off down there by a crudely built brick wall - WHY?
Naturally we will have to investigate - probably an open sewer or sommat:eek:
So what do you think - investigate? or cover it all up and run away?
Spike
05-01-2005, 10:18 AM
just take the wall down, nowt like a sledge to have fun with :rolleyes:
Sir Ewok
05-01-2005, 10:19 AM
Does sound like the entrance to one of the Pyramid tombs. Did Fred West live there at some time in the past? :eek: :eek: :eek:
Bosun
05-01-2005, 01:26 PM
think hopefull a bricked up brough superior
Dougie
05-01-2005, 01:29 PM
More like the Hell Mouth! :eek: :eek:
Mrs Reject
05-01-2005, 01:42 PM
I can't get down there I'm afraid. I've shone a torch down a hole I made and all I can see is pipes and electrical wires, so I'm afraid we're going to have to cover it up until we can afford to totally gut and renovate the kitchen. It needs:
plastering, rewiring, plumbing, walls taken down and rebuilt, skirting board put on, new ceiling, all kitchen units taking out and throwing away as they are crap, in fact everything needs doing - total strip and rebuild job!
For now we'll have to re-plywood the floor and lay cheapo lino which will have to do until I get a proper job again. we will then have to be re-programmed and made to forget what is under said lino or it will drive me nuts!!!! How do they cope these amateur property developers on t.v??? I can't bloody cope!
The bloody mess now tho'! Took up the tiles and there is mould, silverfish, remnants of monster spiders and all kinds of nastiness underneath and it stinks too!:(
How about writing into one of those "let us humiliate you while renovating your house" shows on TV?You'd get your house/kitchen done up & we could watch it.
BikerGran
05-01-2005, 04:42 PM
Wot I said.......
Just put it all back and pretend you never looked!
There y'go, sorted!
:D
Mrs Reject
05-01-2005, 05:09 PM
Wot I said.......
:D
Ok ok, I'll listen next time - in fact there won't be a next time :)
Bosun
05-01-2005, 05:39 PM
Ok ok, I'll listen next time - in fact there won't be a next time :)
we wait with baited breath :)
Dougie
05-01-2005, 05:43 PM
we wait with baited breath :)
What bait you using then,Fayj?
Bosun
05-01-2005, 05:46 PM
garlic, cabbage water, stilton and beer
krammer
05-01-2005, 05:53 PM
I can't get down there I'm afraid. I've shone a torch down a hole I made and all I can see is pipes and electrical wires, so I'm afraid we're going to have to cover it up until we can afford to totally gut and renovate the kitchen. It needs:
plastering, rewiring, plumbing, walls taken down and rebuilt, skirting board put on, new ceiling, all kitchen units taking out and throwing away as they are crap, in fact everything needs doing - total strip and rebuild job!
For now we'll have to re-plywood the floor and lay cheapo lino which will have to do until I get a proper job again. we will then have to be re-programmed and made to forget what is under said lino or it will drive me nuts!!!! How do they cope these amateur property developers on t.v??? I can't bloody cope!
The bloody mess now tho'! Took up the tiles and there is mould, silverfish, remnants of monster spiders and all kinds of nastiness underneath and it stinks too!:( this house then, is it pre or post war? (english civil i mean :D )
garlic, cabbage water, stilton and beer
And your girlfriend approves of this does she?
wegit
05-01-2005, 06:03 PM
Did Fred West live there at some time in the past? :eek: :eek: :eek:
You'd think so wouldn't you ??
Mrs Reject
05-01-2005, 06:34 PM
What the house needs is pulling down and rebuilding. The last two owners were a total nightmare. Took the carpet up recently to check out the floorboards, there are huge gaps with just carpet on top - it's a miracle we haven't plunged to our deaths into the cellar or broken ankles!!!
Still it's why we could afford a house this size. Had we bought something perfect with no work needed we would be living in a rabbit hutch at the end of the garden! :)
It's just frustrating that I'll be a student for another 18 months and we can't afford to start working on the house properly.
It's a 1930's house.
longhorn
05-01-2005, 07:43 PM
What the house needs is pulling down and rebuilding. The last two owners were a total nightmare. Took the carpet up recently to check out the floorboards, there are huge gaps with just carpet on top - it's a miracle we haven't plunged to our deaths into the cellar or broken ankles!!!
Still it's why we could afford a house this size. Had we bought something perfect with no work needed we would be living in a rabbit hutch at the end of the garden! :)
It's just frustrating that I'll be a student for another 18 months and we can't afford to start working on the house properly.
It's a 1930's house.
Can't resist.....LUXURY :D
Put down Loads of Sawdust !
You can thank me later ;)
Bosun
05-01-2005, 10:33 PM
And your girlfriend approves of this does she?
im working hard but the poor things infatuated ;)
im working hard but the poor things infatuated ;)
Is that a spelling mistake & you really mean inflated?Better get a puncture repair kit incase she goes down on you... :D :D :D
TaxiDave
05-01-2005, 10:53 PM
Is that a spelling mistake & you really mean inflated?Better get a puncture repair kit incase she goes down on you... :D :D :D
Only in his wildest dreams
Bosun
05-01-2005, 11:12 PM
mmmm custardmmm thighboots,,, mmmm linda lusardi..
Sir Ewok
06-01-2005, 03:24 AM
You say he has built a partition wall across the trap door and there is a crude brick wall underneath! Could it be that the partition wall is load bearing and he has built the wall in the cellar to hold it up? Possibly the weight of said wall, if done to same standard as floor has started to sag and so he has used acros to hold it up while building a crap wall underneath :confused:
Mrs Reject
06-01-2005, 11:18 AM
You say he has built a partition wall across the trap door and there is a crude brick wall underneath! Could it be that the partition wall is load bearing and he has built the wall in the cellar to hold it up? Possibly the weight of said wall, if done to same standard as floor has started to sag and so he has used acros to hold it up while building a crap wall underneath :confused:
AArrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhh (plus various other high pitched type screaming) I don't even want to go there right now - cover it all up, run away and hide :eek: Although I have been thinking of late of getting a builder to come and look at it with a view to replacing the gerry built cellar walls with steel supports or something.
I think the same guy built my bike :D
Mad Dog
06-01-2005, 12:29 PM
AArrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhh (plus various other high pitched type screaming) I don't even want to go there right now - cover it all up, run away and hide :eek: Although I have been thinking of late of getting a builder to come and look at it with a view to replacing the gerry built cellar walls with steel supports or something.
I think the same guy built my bike :D
I'll have a look when I come down to pick your bike up if you like.
Mrs Reject
06-01-2005, 12:42 PM
I'll have a look when I come down to pick your bike up if you like.
Cool, if you trust us enough to go down to the cellar tho', it's a hidden door and no one would ever know you were there :D
Mad Dog
06-01-2005, 12:44 PM
Cool, if you trust us enough to go down to the cellar tho', it's a hidden door and no one would ever know you were there :D
More to the point, could you live knowing I was prowling around yer basement :D
BikerGran
06-01-2005, 01:02 PM
I hardly like to say this but........
...I take it you DIDN'T have a survey done before you bought....?
Mrs Reject
06-01-2005, 01:51 PM
More to the point, could you live knowing I was prowling around yer basement :D
There won't be much prowling going on, the cellar roof is only 4 foot 11" high
:D
Biker Gran: no we didn't get a full structural survey but knew what we were getting into when we bought the place and no signs of any major structural damage - it's mainly cosmetic and some building work or should I say un-building work. The partition wall is only hollow plasterboard anyway. The motgage company surveyor was satisfied there wasn't any major structural damage and he was pretty thorough, and the neighbours who have lived here for up to 50 years seem to think all these houses are sound.
Mitch
06-01-2005, 02:11 PM
There won't be much prowling going on, the cellar roof is only 4 foot 11" high
:D
Biker Gran: no we didn't get a full structural survey but knew what we were getting into when we bought the place and no signs of any major structural damage - it's mainly cosmetic and some building work or should I say un-building work. The partition wall is only hollow plasterboard anyway. The motgage company surveyor was satisfied there wasn't any major structural damage and he was pretty thorough, and the neighbours who have lived here for up to 50 years seem to think all these houses are sound.
the funny thing about the close where we live, most of the families have lived in more than one house, moving to one further round as their family gets bigger.
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