Bassman
04-01-2005, 10:37 PM
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says:
“Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies:
“Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”
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A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her son playing with his
new electric train in the living room.
She heard the train stop & her son saying, "All of you bastards who want
off, get the hell off now, 'cause this is the last stop! And all of you
bastards who are getting on, get your ass in the train, cause we're going
down the tracks."
The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of
language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room & stay there for
TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom & resumed playing with
his train.
Soon the train stopped & the mother heard her son say, "All the
passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of
your belongings with you. We thank you for traveling with us today & hope
your trip was a pleasant one." She hears the little boy continue, "For
those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all your hand luggage under
your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will
have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are
PISSED OFF about the 2 HOURS delay, please see the fat bitch in the
kitchen"
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“Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies:
“Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her son playing with his
new electric train in the living room.
She heard the train stop & her son saying, "All of you bastards who want
off, get the hell off now, 'cause this is the last stop! And all of you
bastards who are getting on, get your ass in the train, cause we're going
down the tracks."
The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of
language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room & stay there for
TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom & resumed playing with
his train.
Soon the train stopped & the mother heard her son say, "All the
passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of
your belongings with you. We thank you for traveling with us today & hope
your trip was a pleasant one." She hears the little boy continue, "For
those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all your hand luggage under
your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will
have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are
PISSED OFF about the 2 HOURS delay, please see the fat bitch in the
kitchen"
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