Darkest secrets....

[Bassman]

Reveal the previous posters deepest darkest secret...

I almost hesitate to try this on here, but here goes. Reveal the previous posters deepest, darkest secret.
(and yes, I did snag this from another forum...

Of course if you don't know the previous poster, then you will just have to make something up.... :D

for instance......User X is actually a midget with a 3 foot afro and drives a pink reliant robin, for his ...coff..alternative weekends!! :eek:

[Dougie]

You mean this kinda thing?
Bassman is a 3'5" tall transexual ukelele player with a penchent for quiche.

If it ain't I'm sorry!

[Freak]

Dougie has no willie

[Dougie]

Freak is as normal as they come.

[Sir Ewok]

dougie is a hunchbacked leper with bingo wings. He likes swimming in stale sago on moonlit nights and during the day he doubles as a merchant banker!

[Bassman]

You mean this kinda thing?
Bassman is a 3'5" tall transexual ukelele player with a penchent for quiche.

Now you've done it Dougie dear.... now everyone will know that the only reason that you know this is that you keep pestering me for pictures.... NOW STOP IT...I don't have any that you haven't already seen...
By the way I know you said not to say anything to anyone, but do you want the pics you sent of you doing unmentionable things to a rather nice bacon and egg flan returning?
Dougie stirs flans a norty way!! :eek:

[Dougie]

Bassman starts things he can't keep up,by the rules of his own thread he should be giving Sir Ewok a hard time!Also,his ukelele playing is pants!

[Bassman]

True..... But Dougie likes pants....Coff...especially short ones....

[Dougie]

True..... But Dougie likes pants....Coff...especially short ones....
Yes,on (or off) ladies!
Meanwhile back at the thread........

[Friar Tuck]

Sir Ewok has a Saturday job as a bouncer for Mothercare!

[Jonnyfp]

Friar Tucks Mum drinks lager from a wellington boot.

And if Bubbles replies she kickstarts bin liners for a livin..naharr!! :D

[TaxiDave]

Jonny has a tattoo of a smurf on his knob

[Bubbles]

Jonny's Really a Clown for Zippo's Circus.

[Fran]

Bubbles is going into the witness protection programme after giving damning evidence against Michael Jackson in court...

[krammer]

bubbles is michael jacksons pet chimp...

[Bubbles]

Fran is michael Jackson :eek:

[longhorn]

Bubbles is forever blowing........ :D

[Bubbles]

Long horn is an Ompa Lumpa from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory :p

[Fran]

Bubbles spends her evenings in front of the computer wearing a nappy full of cottage cheese & rubbing peach schnapps into her boobs...

[Bubbles]

Longhorn spends his evenings in front of the computer wearing a nappy full of cottage cheese & rubbing peach schnapps into his man-boobs...

PMSL!!

:D

[Fran]

Oops Sorry! Too Late For That One...old Hands Not What They Used To Be...

[Bubbles]

Fran smells of Stale Wee

[krammer]

bubbles wears incontinence pants...

[longhorn]

PMSL!!

:D
the cottage cheese will soak it up.

[Fran]

Krammer wears Bubbles old incontinence pants...

[Bubbles]

Longhorn, Krammer & Fran Are all Ompa Lumpas!!!!!!

[krammer]

bubbles enjoys a finger of fudge :eek:

[JOE]

Krammer masturbates over bike platics

[Jonnyfp]

Joe is a cockney

[Fran]

JFP keeps a freezer beside his bed with frozen sprout anal love beads to pleasure himself with...

[krammer]

fran has invented a totally organic cure for piles

[JOE]

which were given to him by Fran, coz she's got an arse like a windsock

[Dougie]

Joe looks over his shoulder all the time cos he's feart of Fran!

[Fran]

Dougie's idea of a good night in is to lie in front of the TV watching the sound of music while braiding his pubic hair & eating his own (lightly salted) toenail clippings...

[Bosun]

Fran was the body double for linda lovelace in "Biggles cums again"

[Bassman]

well at least Biggles could "Cum again"... and that is more than Fayji can!!

[Friar Tuck]

Bassman nicks knickers off clotheslines!

[Fran]

Tuck hangs his dirtiest knickers on the clothesline hoping Bassman will steal them...

[Freak]

Fran pops round and sniffs them

[Jonnyfp]

Freak likes wearing frans stolen passion killers..

[Dougie]

Jonnyfp IS Fran's stolen passion killers!

[Fran]

Dougie's dearest wish is to get a job as a bingo caller...

[TaxiDave]

Frans dearest wish is to leave her job as bingo caller.

[krammer]

fran wants to be a bingo caller just so that she can say dinner for two, sixty nine!

[Huw Beer Monster]

Krammer's deepest secret is that he had to change his name to avoid media coverage over that business with the stoat.

[krammer]

huw beer monsters adage, why mess with stoats when you can have a goat

[Fran]

Krammer loves to watch goat on stoat porn...

[Bosun]

Fran once auditoned to be jimmy Krankie

[Dougie]

Fayji wants to shag Jimmy Krankie!

[Bosun]

dougie was the all france worm charming champiom


(mmmm jimmy krankie mmmmmm)

[TaxiDave]

Fayji went to school with Florence Nightingale

[Dougie]

Taxi Dave IS Florence Nightingale!

[Jonnyfp]

Taxi dave gets bizare dwarves magazine.

[TaxiDave]

JonnyFP and Dougie star in bizarre dwarf sex magazines

[Freak]

JonnyFP is the editer of bizare dwarves magazine.
Bugger TD beat me.....TD beats me

[Jonnyfp]

Freak likes it up the bum so much that he's developed taste buds up there.

[TaxiDave]

Jonny has Bill Clintons spunk stains on his dress.

[krammer]

taxi dave's still got the pearl necklace bill clinton gave him

[Fran]

Krammer still hasn't been able to remove & smoke the cigar that Bill Clinton shoved up his ring...

[krammer]

fran says she loves it up her panatella

[Fran]

Krammer hoards naked photos of Ernest Borgnine...

[defarter]

Krammer hoards naked photos of Ernest Borgnine...



Fran only knows coz she watches him through the key hole....... :eek:

[Fran]

DeFarter has pleasured himself with a tazer so many times his body hair has never grown back...

[defarter]

Yer've been looking through my key hole as well, "yer a lady perv'ie"

[Bosun]

DF spanks himself with old copies of newsweeek

[TaxiDave]

Fayji eats dog poo

[Bosun]

TD once charged someone the right fare

[Jonnyfp]

Fayji is also known as Gina at weekends.

[TaxiDave]

Jonny says he's a Brummy but is really a Welsh bloke and enjoys playing the recorder while wearing a Brownie uniform

[Jonnyfp]

Taxi dave likes to put lollipop sticks up his bum and call himself a taffy apple.

[Sir Ewok]

Fran is a scintillating wit who enchants everybody she meets. With the grace of a gazelle and the looks of Aphrodite only spoilt by the continual belching and farting..... :rolleyes:

[technoboiler]

Sir ewok freezes his pee and uses it for icecubes if anyone pops round for a wee one,,, :p

[Bosun]

TB once modelled for health and efficiency

[TaxiDave]

Fayji once modelled for LegoLand

[Fran]

TD abuses himself with toblerone bars...the bigger the better...

[wegit]

Fran is really a stupid dwarf !!!

She's not big & she's not clever !

[Dougie]

Wegit is now living on borrowed time and is currently sh1tting his pants!

[wegit]

Dougie is now a clairevoyant & I fear a very acuruate one (GULP)

[TaxiDave]

Wegit was last seen wearing his testicles as ear-rings just after Fran left his house.

[Fran]

TD enjoys it when customers "foul"the back of his cab...

[Jonnyfp]

Fran and Dougie have regular scat parties..

[Fran]

Any party JFP went to turned into a scat party...he is now known as Johnny Follow-through Pants...

[TaxiDave]

Fran wears a G-String from a Stratocastor and she likes to have it still connected to the guitar

[Huw Beer Monster]

TD started life as a pizza delivery boy and used to spit on the topping

[Jonnyfp]

Everybody knows Taxi Dave is the only gaay in this village..

[Fran]

The UN couldn't find the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq as JFP had taken his arse back home...

[defarter]

After reading all the posts on this thread i think everyone is a Devious, Debaucherous, Sexual Perve who likes smelling there own Farts.

[Fran]

After reading all the posts on this thread i think everyone is a Devious, Debaucherous, Sexual Perve who likes smelling there own Farts.
...you say that like it's a bad thing! :D

[wegit]

Fran is really a loverly loverly loverly loverly loverly loverly person !!!!!

(Yes I am grovelling for the sake of my future exsitance)

[Dougie]

Wegit is a very sensible man!

[Bosun]

wegit wears a chastity belt




(more for security when frans around :D)

[wegit]

To stop Fayji from trying to bottom burgle him

[Grav]

Wegit is a very strange person who does unusual things with sheep........

[JOE]

Grav's idea of unusual with sheep is to not pimp them out at the weekend

[wegit]

Joe was out poaching for sheep but they all turned him down, even the UGLY ones !!

[JOE]

and wegit was out dogging me

[defarter]

Fran is really a loverly loverly loverly loverly loverly loverly person !!!!!

(Yes I am grovelling for the sake of my future exsitance)



Wegit is a Bloody Creep :D

[Grav]

defarter is bloody stupid as he cant get the game right and has to make it up as he goes along.............. :D

[defarter]

defarter is bloody stupid as he cant get the game right and has to make it up as he goes along.............. :D

True True
True
True
:D :D :D

[Dougie]

Defarter has blown it again!

[defarter]

Defarter has blown it again!



Haggis shagger :eek: :D

[Dougie]

Defarter has just admitted to being a long time Haggis Shagger! :D :D

[defarter]

When push comes to shuv I' not proud, Hope i used enough lube the other nite Dougie :o :o

[technoboiler]

defarter is a virgin :p

[Grav]

Techno shagged a brummie.......... :D

[technoboiler]

officially i dont think i was on top,,,lol,,,,so thats incorrect

grav likes to eat snots,,,anyones snots...the greener the better :D

[defarter]

Grav shags a blow up doll :D

[defarter]

defarter is a virgin :p


Would u like to be the first :p :p :p

[Grav]

defarter wanks off budgies :D

[technoboiler]

Would u like to be the first :p :p :p
post a pic,,,,lol

defarter rubs baby oil on his big toe and puts it up his own bum,,, :eek:

[krammer]

grav likes a cockatoo!

[defarter]

post a pic,,,,lol

defarter rubs baby oil on his big toe and puts it up his own bum,,, :eek:


ready and waiting :D

[krammer]

defarter likes to 'camp' it up

[TaxiDave]

Krammer smokes chocolate cigarettes and snorts bird seed

[Freak]

TaxiDave Shagged Ermintrude ON the Magic Roundabout (in Swindon) :eek:

[krammer]

taxi dave smokes birds and snorts the arse chocolate outta fat slappers

[Fran]

Krammer wants to be the meat in an Elton John George Michael sandwich....

[Friar Tuck]

Fran wants to be micheal Jackson's stunt double!

[Bassman]

The Friar is jealous cos George won't let him nibble Eltons meat again....he likes the brown sticky bits best... :eek:

[Dougie]

Bassman regrets starting this thread!

[Friar Tuck]

Dougie doubles for Demis Roussos!

[saxman]

and friar tuck knits his jumpers

[Grav]

Saxman can blow all night long and is good with his fingers.........

[saxman]

while grav nicks the womens handbags from under the tables

[Dougie]

Saxman sucks the farts out of dead seagulls in Portsmouth Harbour.

[saxman]

whilst douggie 'blows' pigeons on princess st

[Jay]

The only instrument SAXMAN plays is the 'Pink Oboe'

[wegit]

But Jay should be worried about that if he looks anything like his avatar !!!

[Jay]

Wegit has a tendancy to overlook the obvious and isn't familiar with the term Pot Calling The Kettle Black.

Occasionally he can be found toasting Camel's Binkies on smouldering spinsters gussets...

[Grav]

Jay looks remarkably like his avatar

[Bubbles]

Grav Looks like a camels foot that has been walking around cairo for 10 years in the hot dusty sand.

[Jay]

Time and too many visits to Mistress Dave's Adult Dominant Enema Expulsion Clinic, have turned Grav into a mean old bugger

[Jonnyfp]

Grav and Saxman are spooners, but grav blows spunk bubbles out of his bum ole after one of his regular felching episodes on cheddar road. :D



Oh and for the sake of consistancy...jay kick starts jumbo jets for a living...and he's mum smokes a fine pipe..

[Grav]

Jonny couldn't find his arse with both hands and thats with the aid of a map, compass and GPS cos he's a complete gimp who loves it up his fudge tunnel.

[Bubbles]

Grav and Jonny are both waiting for the right moment to 'come out' and tell us their darkest secret ;)

[Jay]

JohnnyFP shags skinks on wednesdays for condoms, even though he has a PHD in quantum physics and a trustfund paying him £1,000,000 per week. I guess he just LOVES those skinks!

Bubbles helps old ladies cross the road, whether they want to or not

[defarter]

Gravs darkest secert is he has only ever owned a push bike.

[Bubbles]

Jay likes to shove a vibrator up his arse, but sometimes prefers to use an electric toothbrush instead for that added effect

[TaxiDave]

Bubbles is forever blowing sailors

[Bubbles]

Taxidave likes to assist Jay with his toothbrush

[Jay]

Taxidave roughly translated in Mongolian is 'man with eyes like jaffacakes'

Bubbles is what Taxidave helping Jay with his toothbrush - results in

[Fran]

Jay pays Japanese schoolgirls for their used pants.The dirtier they are the more he pays...

[TaxiDave]

Fran used to be a test target for the Korean pink plate throwing team

[Jay]

Frans only upset because I offered her £1800 for the last pair she took off

[Fran]

TD & Jay are gold medalists in the granny gusset sniffing olympics...

[Jonnyfp]

Jay is a virtuoso on the skin flute..

Bubbles is to the public wot chairman mao was to social tolerance.
and she loves the good charlottes too.. :eek:

[Jay]

JFP is THE Trumpet Monkey

Frans hairy lip is obviously obscuring her ability to think clearly

[Fran]

Jay doesn't really have a bike...it's a Shetland pony called Nicky & it lives in his bathroom...

[TaxiDave]

Fran always wanted a Shetland Pony as a child but only got visits from her Uncle Gary who wore huge shiny silver boots

[Fran]

TD cuts his dirty old pants into christmas tree shapes & hangs them in the cab as air fresheners...

[Bosun]

fran won Miss butlins 6 years running ( aint an uzi great)

[RedRobbie]

Fran plays the pink Oboe in public toilets. (me thinks)

[Jonnyfp]

Robbie has'nt been insulted yet.. :D

and i can't think of anything.. :mad:

[Dougie]

RedRobbie is actually a fetching shade of pink.

JonnyFP is running out of ideas cos he's a piss smelling crumbly!

[TaxiDave]

Dougie was recently seen at a Telly Tubby concert, trying to get autographs

[Dougie]

Taxi Dave was first in line for the TellyTubbies,and howled like a little girl when he didn't get any autographs!

[Jonnyfp]

Dougie is the big purple queer telly tubby with the handbag, hat and tutu..

[TaxiDave]

Jonny frequents a little village near Birmingham called Balsall Heath and is the reason why they made Cheddar Road a cul-de-sac

[Bassman]

Thought Taxi dave normally frequented summat called the the Chutney road?... and not some Cheddar Road....

[TaxiDave]

Bassman got his name because of all the speakers in his Chavvy souped up Citroen Saxo

[Jay]

TD is obviously a Bovril Miner

[JOE]

Jay is in league with the French

[Dougie]

Joe IS one of the Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys!

[Grav]

and Dougie is the other Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey :D

[Huw Beer Monster]

Grav is called Grav as it's an acronym for Gerald Roberts - A Virgin

[technoboiler]

Huw Has A Hewj Kn*b.... :d

[Jonnyfp]

Techno loves the Baron Knights. :D

[TaxiDave]

Jonny is Chairman of the Birmingham branch of The Morris Dancers

[dracken1]

mrs taxidave always calls td morris minor when he naked

[Fran]

Draken is El Chupacabra.If you don't know what that is look it up before Forest Fred gets his hands on you! :eek:

[TaxiDave]

Fran picks her food up with her toes after she's cleaned her belly button out with them.

[krammer]

taxi dave does'nt eat any food, he just snorts up the clinkers that have accumilated on the back seat of his taxi having been deposited there by people with bowel problems.

[Fran]

Krammer works as a mobile hairdresser/beautician to pensioners doing shampoos,perms & "Brazilians" in the privacy of their own homes...

[krammer]

fran is a brazilian and likes nothing more than doing a nude samba down edinburgh high street

[Dougie]

Krammer is a thing!

[krammer]

dougie came second in a tom cruise lookalike competition

[Dougie]

dougie came second in a tom cruise lookalike competition
I wouldnae mind!

Anyhoo,Krammer came first in Bella Emberg's soiled gusset!




God I think I'm gonna hurl!

[krammer]

I wouldnae mind!

Anyhoo,Krammer came first in Bella Emberg's soiled gusset!




God I think I'm gonna hurl! when you say came :eek: anyway, dougie loves the fragrance of fetid pants that have been fished out of the local red light area.

[Jonnyfp]

OI i want them back dougie!

[Dougie]

JFP is incredibly possessive about fetid pants and believes everything Krammer says!

[Bosun]

dougie was the original milky bar kid

[krammer]

faygi ate all the milky bars

[RedRobbie]

Fajid once played nudie ping pong with Norris Mcquerta

[krammer]

red robbie shuttled with his cock

[Bassman]

Krammer fiddles with his cock... noone else will!!!

[dracken1]

krammer has a centre parting from the vicar stroking his hair whilst he was kneeling in front of him and saying theres a good boy

[dracken1]

bassman so called because of deviant acts performed on a seafish

[Bassman]

Dracken buys the fish, and gobbles it all up...cos he loves bassman's special white sauce....

[RedRobbie]

Bassman once got caught struggling with the sun crossword

[krammer]

bassman loves to squirt mayo down his throat because it reminds him of when he was a rent boy.

[Friar Tuck]

RedRobbie got caught with the Sport!

[RedRobbie]

FriarTuck still has a betamax video

[krammer]

red robbie beats his while he watches videos

[RedRobbie]

Krammer holds the tissue for me

[TaxiDave]

RedRobbie Is Britains number one Coronation Street fan

[Dougie]

TaxiDave wrote Eldorado!

[TaxiDave]

Dougie is the stunt double for Shrek

[Freak]

TD is Shreks swamp

[saxman]

freak is gravs bitch

[Freak]

Saxman is our Pimp :p

[Fran]

Freak is a Bangkok ladyboy who can do amazing things with ping-pong balls...

[saxman]

fran is a minnie mouse lookalike who can do amazing things with zuchinni (sp?)

[Grav]

Saxman likes his wife to bugger him with a cactus

[saxman]

grav is fond of inserting rugby balls up his back passage

[Fran]

Saxman wears cactus-skin panty liners...

[saxman]

after fran has finished with them

[Fran]

Saxman was once arrested for fisting a Canada goose in a public park...

[Grav]

Fran once got a rather unwelcome surprise whilst dressed as a Canada goose..............

[Fran]

Grav now owns his own Canada goose outfit & lives in hope...

[Grav]

Fran was once banished from sunday school after the "Pickled Egg" incident......

[saxman]

grav has been banned from eating pickled eggs by his dog

[Fran]

Saxman had to have his knob sewn back on after a bizarre soapy-tit wank incident...

[Freak]

Fran always carries Bizzare soap, just in case

[TaxiDave]

Freak reckons that Queen Elizabeth is his natural birth mother.

[technoboiler]

taxi dave has a sign in cab saying no food to be consumed,,,,so you have to spit girls,,,,ewwwwwwwwwww :D

[Bassman]

TechnoB saves the crusty spitoons....

[Bosun]

bassman keeps goldfish as midnight snack food

[Jonnyfp]

Fayji has a pet caterpillar called Nero..

[Dougie]

JonnyFP is Colonel K.....

[defarter]

Dougie is a secret Harley lover........

[Jonnyfp]

Defarter is Penfold..

[defarter]

jonnyfp knows my middle name that means i've shagged him :eek:

[RedRobbie]

defarter has 3 testicles

[Jonnyfp]

...and they bounce off red robbies chin on a regular basis..

[krammer]

jonny swallows as he does not want to offend his many boy friends

[Fran]

Krammer practices the dance audition scene from Flashdance in his bedroom every night wearing only a tiny thong & fluffy legwarmers....with his toenails painted candy-girl pink....

[RedRobbie]

fran peeps through gloryholes in the public loo

[krammer]

fran practices flashing walking up her road wearing nothing but an raf overcoat and a pink thong which she will gladly show to anyone who cares to ask

[Bassman]

Of course Krammer being of the opposite persuasion would never dream of asking her... now if she was one of westlife....

[Fran]

It was Krammer & Red Robbie that were with George Michael when he got caught cottaging in the men's loos...

[krammer]

it was fran who was guest of honour at michael barrymores fisting party :eek:

[RedRobbie]

In an effort to get rich quick, Krammer once gave out his bank details in reply to a Nigerian scam email

[Jonnyfp]

Red robbie is on the wrong bus.. :D





that means yarra poof round these ere parts,, :D

[Fran]

The red in Red Robbie comes from his perpetual nappy rash....

[krammer]

in a desperate effort to get laid red robbie agreed to a sham wedding with a nigerian illegal immigrant who by the way turned out to be a bloke.

[Jonnyfp]

Krammer is a regular visitor to the Cottaging scene in Kingstanding..

[RedRobbie]

jonnyfp has a jim davidson LP

[krammer]

jonny goes dogging in kings heath park

[Fran]

Krammer shags dogs in Kings Heath Park...

[Friar Tuck]

Fran's had Heath Park!

[defarter]

FT hides behind the bushes and peeps

[sprintbint]

FT wears a basque and stockings

[defarter]

sprintbint helps FT dress up in drag

[Friar Tuck]

Defarter and Sprintbint go to the same S&M club!

[Dougie]

FT co-owns said S&M club!

[Jonnyfp]

Dougie has a baby turnip for a willy.

[RedRobbie]

jonnyfp cant ride a bike

[defarter]

Redrobbie blows inner-tubes

[RedRobbie]

defarter looks like a donkeys knob

[defarter]

I,ve just painted a picture of RedRobbie :D :D