this story is 100% true

[dracken1]

the following is 100% true and happened this afternoon.

a man i have known for a number of years (name witheld) was telling me that he is having probs getting his book published. seems that none of the publishing houses are interested. not really supprising when you consider that his book is a revised version of the BIBLE! revised by himself because the original is inaccurate. And god told him to rewrite it in his name

(are you getting a picture of what sort of person we have here yet?)

not only that but he is adamant that he is the right hand of god, due to the lord entrusting him to write this bible revision.

now i was just going to tell you what job he does.
but instead, you tell me....

winner gets a brand new pair of these. inc shipping to you
http://i104.photobucket.com/albums/m185/dracken1/various/blkchrgoggles.jpg

[cherryB]

is he a copper :eek: they seems to live in cloud cuckoo land :D

[Mitch]

I bet he's a vicar!:D

Of course the bible is inaccurate as most of it was written to fit in with certain political movements, like the Nicean Creed written during First Council of Nicaea (325 - erm... yes... three hundred years after Jesus/Brian is supposed to have been crucified).

Most of it is missing - take for example, the Apocrypha - including parts of Genesis where Adam's first wife Lilith (who got thrown out of the Garden of Eden for getting in a row with him about who was on top in the bedroom :D) has been completely expunged.

[bunbag]

david ike :D

[GreatBritishRob]

Its Biggles aint it :D
A Pilot of a biplane? :D

[John Hopkins]

I'd guess he's a teacher...probably Maths... :D John

[GreatBritishRob]

When i was at School (yep, i did go a couple of times) we had a teacher called Mr Price, he was our RE teacher (Newtown High). He rode motorbikes and was a bit of a nut job. Aint him is it? :D

[cherryB]

I think it was probably Taff actually :D

[JOE]

welder fabricator?

[pyro]

Urban Terrorist?



am I close?

[Mistress Maker]

a social worker ............ :rolleyes:

[dracken1]

steady on mitch.
people will think it's you :D

[cxdemon]

is he a psychiatrist?
:D

[kiffer38]

a politician, their all away with the fairies

[Bosun]

a magistrate

[Feel the Wind]

20 years ago I'd hav said he worked on the railways...but now...he's gotta be a Storeman....you know, you can't have that washer without a requisition...jobsworth!!! apologies to Storemen.... :eek:

[Kylie]

Drug dealer? :)

[Yoda]

a baker

an engineer

or

A Farmer

[Grav]

Bike shop owner......

[Doughboy]

Most of it is missing - take for example, the Apocrypha - including parts of Genesis where Adam's first wife Lilith (who got thrown out of the Garden of Eden for getting in a row with him about who was on top in the bedroom :D) has been completely expunged.

Correct!

The bit that facinates me though is that later on in that story, Lilith gets it on
with Cain (of Cain and Able) and they bring about the origins of Vampirism, which
of course is also left out of the Bible, shame really, as if the bible was left in its
entirity, it would be a balanced book of good and evil, but they opted to take
most of the evil side out, making it "The Good Book" which is why i'll wait for
the Directors Cut :D

[dracken1]

Bike shop owner......
go have sexual relations alone
:D

[Bosun]

a florist, sorry gun shop owner

[Freak]

Is he............ a magazine editor :D

[TaxiDave]

Is he a Religious Education Teacher??

[Freak]

I still think the clues in the thread title ;)

[cherryB]

I still think the clues in the thread title ;)

Must be NIK then. :D :D

[cherryB]

Is he............ a magazine editor :D




see Freak your leading us to it here :D

[jabba]

an mp there all nuts

[Mental Dave]

Doctor, no fireman

[Grav]

go have sexual relations alone
:D

Snigger.........
:D

[cxdemon]

Is he the local Vicar or catholic priest?? ;)

[*Ace*]

People like that rarely have interesting jobs, they are often quite withdrawn, bit of a loaner, i would say he could be a factory worker, or an accountant or maby a solicitor, or a librarien (?sp).

[Taff]

I think he's an MOT tester, they're all under the same delusion...

[cherryB]

so come on Dracken - we've covered every boring trog we can think of. put us out of our misery now and tell us who won the coveted prize :D :D

[Trikerboab]

100% Editor.

Oh my now i`ll be in for it,
Hey ho... :cool:

[Mitch]

Is he the local Vicar or catholic priest?? ;)
Funny how most pagans know more about Christianity and the bible than most Christians do! :D

[cherryB]

100% Editor.

Oh my now i`ll be in for it,
Hey ho... :cool:


well I'll back you up hun so that makes two of us. If we win the goggles we'll have to have one eye each :D :D :D

[kitkatman]

the following is 100% true and happened this afternoon.

a man i have known for a number of years (name witheld) was telling me that he is having probs getting his book published. seems that none of the publishing houses are interested. not really supprising when you consider that his book is a revised version of the BIBLE! revised by himself because the original is inaccurate. And god told him to rewrite it in his name

(are you getting a picture of what sort of person we have here yet?)

not only that but he is adamant that he is the right hand of god, due to the lord entrusting him to write this bible revision.

now i was just going to tell you what job he does.
but instead, you tell me....

winner gets a brand new pair of these. inc shipping to you
http://i104.photobucket.com/albums/m185/dracken1/various/blkchrgoggles.jpg
I reckon its yoda after a heavy session of sniffing the fungus between his toes again........

[greg]

hes a psychiatrist at the local hospital.
all the ones i meet are a bit odd
:D

[dracken1]

i will let it run to this evening.
none of you are correct but one of you is very close.

kitkatman.. i really wish your answer was correct :D :D :D

[Mitch]

How about a Judge/Justice of the Peace

[hardtailbiker]

he'll be a lawyer

[dracken1]

ok now theres a winner.

and i find this really scary.... he is a serving high court judge

and has written this over a number of years, so that must be the amount of time he has held this belief.

really scary.

mitch i know i should know it.
but pm me your address mate.

[Mitch]

I bet our firm would publish it!! :D

www.ivy-group.co.uk

[cherryB]

Congratulations Mitch/Biggles, enjoy your goggles - god I'm so envious :D :D :D

[cherryB]

I bet our firm would publish it!! :D

www.ivy-group.co.uk

Best you tell us his name Dracken - just in case we are ever in the unfortunate position of meeting him - just so we can snigger when he aint looking :D :D

[dracken1]

sorry cannot do, cherry b.
but just to be on the safe side from now on, if you ever find yourself in front of a high court judge, then it might be best to affirm and say that you believe the bible is inaccurate :rolleyes:

[cherryB]

sorry cannot do, cherry b.
but just to be on the safe side from now on, if you ever find yourself in front of a high court judge, then it might be best to affirm and say that you believe the bible is inaccurate :rolleyes:


think I'll just try and refrain from meeting them cos I wouldnt be able to contain meself. :D :D

[The Beer Monsters]

I wouldnt be able to contain meself. :D :DYou'll be surprised how big tupperware is these days... :eek:

[Justice Kecks]

ok now theres a winner.

and i find this really scary.... he is a serving high court judge

They're all feckin nutters. Out of touch with reality. :mad:

[Mitch]

I bet our firm would publish it!! :D

www.ivy-group.co.uk
Actually... even they've turned their nose up at it (and that's saying something) :eek: :D

[Bosun]

well done biggles

[Mrs Reject]

well done biggles

Not if I get to them first :D

[clanger]

I did always wonder why they make all swear on the bible...what if you're a non believer...you could swear on it, and not care...its a daft law that one!

[Dexxie]

I did always wonder why they make all swear on the bible...what if you're a non believer...you could swear on it, and not care...its a daft law that one!

If you don't have a particular faith, and no particular "holy" book then there is a general statement to be read out by the person regarding an understanding of perjury laws etc....

[kitkatman]

well, where can i get a copy then.....sounds great :D

[Grav]

If you don't have a particular faith, and no particular "holy" book then there is a general statement to be read out by the person regarding an understanding of perjury laws etc....

Taken from.

http://www.jsboard.co.uk/etac/etbb/benchbook/et_03/et_mf04.htm

"I do solemnly, sincerely and truly declare and affirm that the evidence I shall give shall be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.’ "

[Shifty]

Bugger! Got here too late - I was gonna say a high court judge! :D

[clanger]

If you don't have a particular faith, and no particular "holy" book then there is a general statement to be read out by the person regarding an understanding of perjury laws etc....


But if you didn't declare this...and swore on the holy bible, then you could tell a lie, couldn't you?

[Mitch]

I could take along our copies of either 'The Satanic Bible' by Anton Le Vey - Satanism as a religion as opposed to the 'biblical' satanism... or 'A Witches Bible' by Janet and Stewart Farrah ;) I wonder what they'd make of them?
Last time I was in court, about 15 years ago, I affirmed as I was already Pagan by this time and had no option.

Not bad eh, for the kid who used to read out the lessons in the harvest festival and xmas church dos when I was at school! :D

[Oozee]

But if you didn't declare this...and swore on the holy bible, then you could tell a lie, couldn't you?

If you swore on the Christian Bible even though you were not a Christian then you have already lied to the court and could be immediately arrested by the bailliff for perjury.