the chav nativity

[saxman]

There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?). She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit? He does joinery an' that. Mary lives wiv him in a crib dahn Nazaref.

One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like, "Oo you lookin'at?" Gabriel just goes: "You got one up the duff, you have". Mary's totally gobsmacked. She gives it to him large. "Stop dissin' me, yeah? I ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never been with no-one!

So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's 6 months gone herself. Liz is largin' it. She is filled with Christmas spirits. Bacardi breezers an' that. She's like, "I can proper feel me bay-bee in me tummy an' I am proper blessed. What with the extra benefits an' that. Anyway, there's the census, y'knaaa?

Mary an' Joe ain't got no dosh so they 'ave to twoc a donkey, an' go dahn Beflehem on that.
They get to this pub an' Mary is ready to have her bay-bee an' that. But there ain't no room in the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals Cahs an' sheep and that.

Then these three geezers turn up, lookin' proper bling. They are free wise geezers from the east end. Joe goes, "If yoo so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this frankenwotsit an' myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas n Burberry?

So anyway, they go dahn Egypt till some geezer stops killing all the first-born bay-bees, an' its safe an' that. Then Joe and Mary and Jeezus go back to Nazaref, and Jeezus turns water into lager.

[ForestFred]

Trouble is those burberry wearing thick fucking halfwits belive that the above is the true story :eek: :D

[saxman]

it is .......innit?

:confused: :confused: :confused:

[Spike]

Yeeeh man, that one wicked stooory innit !! :o

[Mrs Reject]

Hahahaha, cats are chavs you know, yes those furry devils we love so much. Think about it, they never work, laze about all day, get into fights constantly, shag anything that moves, stay out all night and have loads of illegitimate kittens with different fathers.

[Dougie]

Aye right!The dimmest cat is far brighter than your average chav!

[wegit]

Trouble is those burberry wearing thick fucking halfwits belive that the above is the true story :eek: :D
but they think the story BELOW is true.

You've been added to the thick bunch !!!




Kidding ;))

[Freak]

See now that all depends on which way round you got the replies posting. Above works for me matey :D

[wegit]

Okay, I'm a dumb ass.... Just spotted the link to switch the order..

Applying for my new job as I type.

"Would you like fries with that?"

[cxdemon]

And now this is what they give out at jobcentres??? :D

[Mrs Reject]

Has any one of you ever managed to find a job through the thick sh1tes behind the counter at job centres or agencies???????
I have always found my own jobs the last 20 years by applying direct to the company, hospital or whatever. I joined a job agency twice and to be honest the people who worked there were so pig ignorant they could barely comprehend anything I said to them :mad:

[saxman]

always found job centres fuckin useless

agencies........those rippin off bastards make my blood boil. :mad: have had to use them occasionaly tho. :mad: :mad:

always ended up findin permanent jobs off me own back.

[Grav]

Has any one of you ever managed to find a job through the thick sh1tes behind the counter at job centres or agencies???????


Yep, I have. Got some work from a job agency here in Wigan, only short term contracts but it was better than nothing at the time. Kept my bike on the road and paid the bills.

[Mrs Reject]

Yep, I have. Got some work from a job agency here in Wigan, only short term contracts but it was better than nothing at the time. Kept my bike on the road and paid the bills.

They must employ sensible people up there then, here they only employ spotty teenagers who look about about 15 years old!!!

[Bosun]

They must employ sensible people up there then, here they only employ spotty teenagers who look about about 15 years old!!!


and they are the rejects from macdonalds :)

only once have i entered the portals, found a job off own back 2 days later

[Mrs Reject]

Ooooer, Mrs R's about to go into a rant errk!!!
Despite having had 20 years experience as a staff nurse/ward sister and a good few years experience in offices as an insurance worker come medical advisor they were unable even to get me a job as a data processor when I was made redundant or find any kind of work for me whatsoever. I was registered with 6 different agencies.
After a month I told them all to sod off and applied to every company in the area myself and got loads of job offers and a really well paid job - if i can do it why couldn't those stupid sods do it, they are supposed to be the ones with business connections.
I could go on and on but I must watch my blood pressure :)