Greetings from bedford hospital (again)

[kitkatman]

Back in again with the chrones....well pissed off as i have missed a ride out today, but i am banging with morphine at the mo.........

[Mikesmad]

Sorry tae hear that.........

..........an that morphine fair makes yer **** hard tae cum oot LOL!

[kitkatman]

Sorry tae hear that.........

..........an that morphine fair makes yer **** hard tae cum oot LOL!
I have the pleasure of having "fleet" tomorow morning, atomic laxative, if thaty dont shift it, your fucked...lol

[Mistress Maker]

hey hinny .....hope it aint too bad tommorrow ...........take care and get well

[Bosun]

i would say what a bummer keith but not quite the right phrase

hope they sort you soon

[Grav]

Get well soon, Keith.

[baldyshinehead]

Are you having an affair with one of those doctors :p


Hope it all goes well for you mate.

[kitkatman]

Are you having an affair with one of those doctors :p


Hope it all goes well for you mate.
I aint got the energy for all that malarky. My canula had 3 drips attached to it and it looked like the mier space station, boy am i bored..... The ward i am in at the mo is like gods waiting room, seen the vicar too many times already

[Bosun]

seen the vicar too many times already

not planning on being a choir boy then :D

[squidge]

hope it goes alright mate


shame about the ride out

[kitkatman]

not planning on being a choir boy then :D
I could always ask huw....... :D

[kitkatman]

hope it goes alright mate


shame about the ride out
Thanks chap.....

i normally go for a ride out every so often with a mate and we finish at the little chef at marston morteyne as my auntie works there( glamerous job, i know) and she sorts us both out with brekkie and large helpings of caffiene for free.....so apart from missing a ride, i also missed scoff...

[Grav]

You only went back in cos you love getting enema's, ya pervy..... :D

[The Beer Monsters]

I could always ask huw....... :DI am conclusive proof that just 'cos your Welsh, it doesn't mean you can sing...

However, if you wish to become a choir boy, I have a very sharp knife...

[kitkatman]

I am conclusive proof that just 'cos your Welsh, it doesn't mean you can sing...

However, if you wish to become a choir boy, I have a very sharp knife...
I will pass on that huw...... :D

[kitkatman]

You only went back in cos you love getting enema's, ya pervy..... :D
Thats a exit mate and thats all it will ever be ( exept for tomorow when i have a camera rammed up me chuff)

[cherryB]

Bugger me :rolleyes: (forgive the pun), sorry to hear your suffering again KKM - get well soon and good luck tomorrow ;)

[Grav]

Thats a exit mate and thats all it will ever be ( exept for tomorow when i have a camera rammed up me chuff)
Thats one TV programme I DO NOT want to see....... :D

Hope all goes well, feller. :)

[kitkatman]

Thats one TV programme I DO NOT want to see....... :D

Hope all goes well, feller. :)
Believe me, its one show i dont want to be the star off!........wll they have just upped my painkiller meds as the others were just sending me bandy and not actually doing the pain in...strange

[Shep]

Best regards, KKM.

Hope they get you sorted.

[gothtec]

Hope you get up and riding soon mate.. :)

[kitkatman]

Thanks guys and girls. Just been put to "nil by mouth", so i cant even brush me bloody teeth this morning......
I might go and have my first ciggie (havnt had one since sat night), first drag, go dizzy and end back up in a+e.....lol

[Juke]

Poor ol' you hun.
Will give Mel a call later today, and we shall pop over to see her.
As for you?............well, we might bring ya a few mags to read.
Womans Own? Take A Break? Cosmopolitan?
Any preferences hun?............ :D

[kitkatman]

Poor ol' you hun.
Will give Mel a call later today, and we shall pop over to see her.
As for you?............well, we might bring ya a few mags to read.
Womans Own? Take A Break? Cosmopolitan?
Any preferences hun?............ :D
Try fiesta, whitehouse, shaven haven.....lol, will try and give you a call after i have had the camera shoved where it shouldnt be shoved

[clanger]

I think you should change your name to YoYo...you are in and out of hospital enough times aren't you...hope you are feeling better soon... :)

[kitkatman]

I think you should change your name to YoYo...you are in and out of hospital enough times aren't you...hope you are feeling better soon... :)
I should call you a cheeky bint for that, but alas its true!
Now the 4th time since last november, i even had a nurse ask me if i had brought my bike with me!..........

[Fran]

Just looking at your sign off....not surprised you're back in hospital! :p Get well soon Keith. :)

[cherryB]

have you had ya anal innerds photographed yet Bud. are you ok? do ya fancy a good curry?

sorry ;) hope you feel better soon ;)

[kitkatman]

have you had ya anal innerds photographed yet Bud. are you ok? do ya fancy a good curry?

sorry ;) hope you feel better soon ;)

no not yet, still waiting, but i could go a madras right now, go well with the morphine jab i havent long had

[kitkatman]

I have just had my endoscopy cancelled....fuckin mad, had all that done and for what, fuck all........now i am aparently having a C-T scan done instead, but the problem is now is when!

[Grav]

Look at it this way mate, at least your not going to feel like you've been shágged by an elephant........

:D

[Dougie]

Look at it this way mate, at least your not going to feel like you've been shágged by an elephant........

:D
But he LIKES that feeling......... :D

[Grav]

KKM went to the doctor and said

"Doc, I feel like I have been shágged by an elephant, my arse is (_0_) wide

the doctor replies

"That's impossible sir, an elephants dick would only make you arse (_o_) wide.

KKM said, "Well it fingered me first....."

:D

[cherryB]

isnt a ct scan to tell you if you are mad or not :D cos we can tell them that without fancy machines :D

[bunbag]

come on kkm pull the finger out and get well m8 , need to see u up and about :D

[Mrs Reject]

So what did the scan say then?

[kitkatman]

Well the mad black chap has gone home, i still havnt had my scan or a date for it, they dont know when i can go home, they said i could now eat, but i got offered lentil soup and a cheese sarnie (very loose descriptions i may add), so declined the kind offer to be a vegie, so if i want somethink to eat, i will have to buy my own now......so todays gone from strength to fuckin strength.....
I havnt had a ciggie in 3 days, but i am going to fuck off and have 2-3 as i am now royally pissed off


god fobid the first person to bless me goodnight, they will be politly tol to go and fuck themselves :mad:

[kitkatman]

Well the mad black chap has gone home, i still havnt had my scan or a date for it, they dont know when i can go home, they said i could now eat, but i got offered lentil soup and a cheese sarnie (very loose descriptions i may add), so declined the kind offer to be a vegie, so if i want somethink to eat, i will have to buy my own now......so todays gone from strength to fuckin strength.....
I havnt had a ciggie in 3 days, but i am going to fuck off and have 2-3 as i am now royally pissed off


god fobid the first person to bless me goodnight, they will be politly tol to go and fuck themselves :mad:
And that was after endurin 2 enemas and feel liike i sh1tted my entire stomach out as i was supposed to have a camera up my arse, but they decided to cancel that at the last minute....ti am going for a fag before i punch some cunts lights out

not seeling sociable at the mo

[kitkatman]

So what did the scan say then?
Results due 2024

[bunbag]

goodnight kkm :D

[kitkatman]

goodnight kkm :D
1.
I aint going to bed yet
2
refer to answe in previous post :D

[Bosun]

C-T scan
admit it it is the cut and tuck your in for

part 4 of the sex change

[kitkatman]

C-T scan
admit it it is the cut and tuck your in for

part 4 of the sex change
Ian, i seriously wonder about your fetish about me having a sex change sometimes :D

[Freak]

I feel for you KKN

Sorry that shuld be KKM, it's difficult typing when theres a steak supper, a pint glass of cool beer and ready rolled ciggies surrounding the keyboard. One has to be so careful when typing. Think I'll pop for a nap now :D

[clanger]

Sorry that shuld be KKM, it's difficult typing when theres a steak supper, a pint glass of cool beer and ready rolled ciggies surrounding the keyboard.

*sniggers*

[Bassman]

I feel for you KKN

Sorry that shuld be KKM, it's difficult typing when theres a steak supper, a pint glass of cool beer and ready rolled ciggies surrounding the keyboard. One has to be so careful when typing. Think I'll pop for a nap now :D


OOhhh you are a cruel bugger.... :D

Hows it going tonight KKM?

[Dougie]

I feel for you KKN

Sorry that shuld be KKM, it's difficult typing when theres a steak supper, a pint glass of cool beer and ready rolled ciggies surrounding the keyboard. One has to be so careful when typing. Think I'll pop for a nap now :D
Pete,you are one seriously evil individual.Keep up the good work! :D :D

[kitkatman]

I feel for you KKN

Sorry that shuld be KKM, it's difficult typing when theres a steak supper, a pint glass of cool beer and ready rolled ciggies surrounding the keyboard. One has to be so careful when typing. Think I'll pop for a nap now :D
PMSL..........
Cheers pete, that made me smile you bastid.....

keith, still aint heard anything, but they have got a fresh supply of weirdos in the hbeds now

[Freak]

He knows I'm only joking

(I aint even tired)

[Mrs Reject]

Heehee, I'd like to have seen your face when offered lentil soup ;)

[kitkatman]

He knows I'm only joking

(I aint even tired)
Hope the steaks got foot and mouth :D :D

[Kingo]

All the best KKM, Anita has the same problem so I can sympathise we you.
I myself have irritable bowel syndrom, (and it's getting on my nerves) :cool:

[adamkilledeve]

bloody hell, i bugger off for a few days an its all gone down hill. hope you get well soon babe, if it helps i can hardy keep anything down, think i musta eaten something doggy at the bull dog coz iv been sic 5 times!!!!
hopefully your wife will bring you in some good ol home cooking :D

[Friar Tuck]

Jeez, KKM! You don't arf go extremes just to oggle a few nurseys!


Get well soon, Chum!

Oh,...

Bless you my son!

[jediross]

Hope you aint stuck in there to long, if you need some books or mags let me know and I'll pop some in for ya.

[kitkatman]

All the best KKM, Anita has the same problem so I can sympathise we you.
I myself have irritable bowel syndrom, (and it's getting on my nerves) :cool:
Thanks kingo, i sympaphise with you and your fine lady, it (escuse the pun) a pain in the arse....lol
hopefully having a ct scan today, but had all those promises before, been put on a fluid only diet at te mo, so nothings changed since sunday.......boy have i got a lot of eating to do to get me upto weight again :D

[kitkatman]

bloody hell, i bugger off for a few days an its all gone down hill. hope you get well soon babe, if it helps i can hardy keep anything down, think i musta eaten something doggy at the bull dog coz iv been sic 5 times!!!!
hopefully your wife will bring you in some good ol home cooking :D
Dont blame the bulldogs burgers for that, i bet you might have drunk a wee too much beverage and you are suffering a grade 1 hangover (normally takes 2-3 days to get over) :D

[kitkatman]

Jeez, KKM! You don't arf go extremes just to oggle a few nurseys!


Get well soon, Chum!

Oh,...

Bless you my son!
Thank you for your blessing friar...
But to get in here for the nurses....behave man, they have been overrun by munters, would rather releve myself with a cheese grater :D :D

[kitkatman]

Hope you aint stuck in there to long, if you need some books or mags let me know and I'll pop some in for ya.
I am expecting a normal 5 night event, i have a window view now looking over the costa del bedford so if i get to depressed i can go for a leap of faith (followed by a splat), if your passing, drop in, they have the canteen downstairs for coffee ect, visiting times are from 2m (unless you are of a certain ethnic grouping and then its 24hour)

[kitkatman]

Well got moved onto a ward last night....horray, was allowed food, didnt bother as it was sh1te!, got told this morning that i am now back on a clear liquid diet.....booooo, got a residential loon on the ward, special function of the loon is to scream all night, keep everyone awake and then be nice and happy from 7am, i want to kill him alreadY......awaiting a ct scan now and thats about it, apart from having a fuckin great needle stuck in my arse cheek this morning, such pleasures i suffer

[bunbag]

get a golden retriever to sniff yer arse and a pussy cat to lick ya all over
so yell have a cat scan and a lab report also who,s the best blokes to be seen with in the hospital has to be the ULTRA SOUND GUYS sorry keep well m8

[kitkatman]

get a golden retriever to sniff yer arse and a pussy cat to lick ya all over
so yell have a cat scan and a lab report also who,s the best blokes to be seen with in the hospital has to be the ULTRA SOUND GUYS sorry keep well m8
Ffs bun, thats terrible :D

[Mikesmad]

.....But to get in here for the nurses....behave man, they have been overrun by munters, would rather releve myself with a cheese grater :D :D



Have posted your comments on the hospital website........

...........no, don't thank me.........

.................it was no problem at all!

[kitkatman]

Have posted your comments on the hospital website........

...........no, don't thank me.........

.................it was no problem at all!
Cheers mate, saves me doing it! And anyhow, they have to find me :D

[Bosun]

blooming heck you still swinging the lead in there old bean
#




bring back matron with wire wool and dettol that will sort you

[kitkatman]

blooming heck you still swinging the lead in there old bean
#




bring back matron with wire wool and dettol that will sort you
Yep still in residence......got a ct scan at 3.30 tpmorow afternoon and i have to drink some stuff to make me RADIO-ACTIVE MAN, so should have some dayglo turmouts by saturday

[Bosun]

the predicted view over bedford sunday
http://jameswagner.com/mt_archives/Atomic%20Bomb.gif

[Bosun]

laqtest pic of KKM in hospita;

[slob]

well i can't use the full of sh1te gag cos he isn't! Keith I wish you all the best. it can't be easy suffering so much and being a cunt :D What did your parents do to annoy God so much?

[Bosun]

still the comfort has improved
http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c373/Fayji/badgers_arse.jpg

[kitkatman]

well i can't use the full of sh1te gag cos he isn't! Keith I wish you all the best. it can't be easy suffering so much and being a cunt :D What did your parents do to annoy God so much?
pMSL......cunt :D

well at least i was a pretty baby, when you were born, they slapped your mother

[kitkatman]

the predicted view over bedford sunday
http://jameswagner.com/mt_archives/Atomic%20Bomb.gif
Did you hear about the sad story about the yanks accidently dropping the A-bomb on ethiopia

2.1million died in the blast, but another 15 million died trying to eat the mushroom

[kitkatman]

laqtest pic of KKM in hospita;
I knew i should have pissed in your cuppa tea at the siobathon and to think i was even kind enough to make it for ya.......... :D

[Bosun]

your all heart :)

[Grav]

Just think, in a day or two KKM is gonna be doing radio active shíts. :D

[kitkatman]

Just think, in a day or two KKM is gonna be doing radio active shíts. :D
And they will be readily available to the public through e-bay

[Grav]

Get your glowing poo here! it's so bright you will think it's daylight! :D

[kitkatman]

Get your glowing poo here! it's so bright you will think it's daylight! :D
Buy 2 and grav will throw in a set of hub caps at half price :D

[Grav]

Pay for hubcaps?

never......






snigger...... :D

[kitkatman]

Pay for hubcaps?

never......






snigger...... :D
Well my plan was my likkle mate, you steal their hubcaps, i curl them a log off and you sell them their hubcaps back to them :D

[Grav]

good plan. :D

[cherryB]

are you home yet KKM - ave you got any snap shots to share with us. ;)

[Bosun]

oh no photos please

[kitkatman]

are you home yet KKM - ave you got any snap shots to share with us. ;)
No, not home yet, maybe in the morning (i fuckin hope)
i have a ward full of the bedford special brew crew ( local winos) on their summer holiday to dry out......ones completly yellow, another got liver failure and the 3rd gone all george best and needs a transplant....
Allready threatened to shove one out of the 4th floor window

[cherryB]

mmmm - why have they got you in alki ward then, with chrones - are you sure you telling us the truth here babe. is there something you need to get off ya chest? ;)

[kitkatman]

mmmm - why have they got you in alki ward then, with chrones - are you sure you telling us the truth here babe. is there something you need to get off ya chest? ;)
Escuse me woman........i like the rest of you drink in porportion and i stick to my units per week (normally in a night though), this lot are trained professionals.......get my ct scan results tomorow and if i need a op, goodbye nhs, hello bupa, thats nearly a month in this bastard hole since november :(

[Bosun]

Allready threatened to shove one out of the 4th floor window


if your on the fourth floor thats the tunnel idea out of the window
:D

[critch]

Results due 2024


fek me mate i know the nhs aint too hot, but waiting 17 years for your results is taking the piss :eek:

[cherryB]

Escuse me woman........i like the rest of you drink in porportion and i stick to my units per week (normally in a night though), this lot are trained professionals.......get my ct scan results tomorow and if i need a op, goodbye nhs, hello bupa, thats nearly a month in this bastard hole since november :(

do you wants us to bring you sum grapes hun ;)

[Friar Tuck]

do you wants us to bring you sum grapes hun ;)
Wot? He's in for hemma.. Heamhor.. hemor.....piles?

[Friar Tuck]

I think he'll need a rubber ring!

[Bosun]

latest snak pictures confirm FT's analysis

http://www.nature.com/news/2001/010308/images/baboon_200.jpg

[Friar Tuck]

I think I've just been put off me brekkies!:eek:

[kitkatman]

Well i hae just had the night from hell.....had a coffin dodger screaming "help me, they are killing me, i cant breathe" all fuckin night......i felt like sleeping in the fuckin shower, god i feel bolloxed, pray that i may go home today

[Mrs Reject]

Well i hae just had the night from hell.....had a coffin dodger screaming "help me, they are killing me, i cant breathe" all fuckin night......i felt like sleeping in the fuckin shower, god i feel bolloxed, pray that i may go home today

What the hell was Forest Fred doing in Bedford Hospital :confused:

[kitkatman]

i Am Home..............................horay........... ..

[adamkilledeve]

yay!!!! at last, glad your home mate, hows the radioactive toilet sessions going now lol :D
if i was you i would get on my bike asap coz the weather is spos to get ****y again :(

glad your home an well hun xxxxxx

[Bosun]

i Am Home..............................horay........... ..


you took your time
you malingerer you :D







glad to hear you have escaped

[STEViE]

Glad to hear your good news. I hope it stays that way for a good while to come. :)

[bunbag]

well done hope ya feel better ;)

[jediross]

Well done KKM, glad to be out of there no doubt.

[kitkatman]

thanks peep, it was nice that i had my own pit to sleep in last night.....oooo sooooo comfy and also a thanks to you all for the entertainment and the posts whilst i was in.
my ct scan didnt show anything they didnt know, but, when i went in with the cramps again, they gave me 3 magic tablets that soothed the pain away and i am now in possession of a box full, so hopefully i might not be going back for a long while and i can get on with life......

i have to say about hospitals though,, dont you see some weird and wonderful people and sights :D

[John Hopkins]

I missed all this..glad you are ok kkm...John

[Dougie]

Curry tonight,cuz? :D :D

[kitkatman]

Curry tonight,cuz? :D :D
quite tempted to have a madras to tell you the truth, kill or cure like :D

[Grav]

Welcome home, KKM.

[kitkatman]

Welcome home, KKM.
why thank you :D

[Kylie]

Oh heck, lock up your daughters!!!!! He's out!

:D

[kitkatman]

Oh heck, lock up your daughters!!!!! He's out!

:D
well, dont know about that, i have been assigned baby sitting duties as soon as i am out

[Grav]

Rather than sit on babies, try a cushion. .........

[Bosun]

i have to say about hospitals though,, dont you see some weird and wonderful people and sights :D

stop looking in the mirrors

[critch]

my brain scan didnt show anything



coulda saved the wait..... we could have all told you that ;)

[kitkatman]

coulda saved the wait..... we could have all told you that ;)
remind one self to tell critch and fayji to fuck off more often and give them some abuse ( here we go with the misquotes again ) :D

[Mikesmad]

Excuse me jist a min, kkm..........

...........are ye oot o' hospital or feckin not?

[Grav]

remind one self to tell critch and fayji to fuck me more often and give arse some serious abuse :D
snigger...... :D

[critch]

snigger...... :D
it was obvious to me too grav......... but i just couldnt lower meself.


now watch that for missquotes ;) :D