Goooood!!!!!!!!!

[Mrs Reject]

*Turn on the rantometer Mabel*
Oh God! I don't really do Christmas, can't stand the unrelenting pressure to bankrupt meself just for one day in the year and send cards to people who can't be arsed to speak to me the rest of the year.
I'm just heading off into town to get the minimum cards I need to send and some token pressies for my immediate family - can't afford anything much as I'm a poor student (cue violins). The problem is the minute I get to the shopping mall and walk in I loose the will to live and have to fight the urge to run away, smear myself in dirt, put bones in my hair and hide in a cave. Must be some sort of ancient fight and flight instinct:confused:
Christmas is like weddings, people feel obliged to spend colossal amounts of money on an event which is going to last one day only and no one really wants to be there!
If I was going to spend £30,000 (like some people do on their weddings) I would expect a fuckin' amazing time to be had which would include circus acts, wild animals roaming about, free booze and drugs, a party to end all parties, not stuck in a feckin' church (spit, spit) watching some fat bride waft about in a strapless white dress with her tits falling out followed by canapes, nibbles and a glass of plonk (never enough), being bored to death by Auntie Mavis and Uncle Derek!!!
My friends it is time to rebel and turn our backs on this kind of crap and live the lives we want to live and not be bullied by society or advertising into thinking that we are some kind of monster if we don't conform.
Having ruined your christmas I am now off to the shops.
Mrs Scrooge.

[cxdemon]

Yayyyy go girl. feckin commercialism gone mad!


"Campaign for real Yule" :D

[Spike]

sounds like ya got it bang on !!

Bah humbugs :o

[Bosun]

done all mine , and kept to a minimum

ner ner de ner neeer


dont let the shops have it all
closest friends get nice meal/wine ale with me far nicer

[dodgyphil]

good on yer girl.I'm right behind you!!
For too long have I been called Scrooge (he got it fkin right too!) for not wanting to get involved in a "festival" started on the basis of a big storybook (let's start a religion based on the lord of the rings?) which stole all the PROPER celebrations and bar stewardised them for their own use!!celebrate your birthday,new year solstices even,but christmas
BAH HUMBUG BUGGER DAMN ETC.......................................

I VOTE PAT FOR OUR SAVIOUR !!!!

[Freak]

To bloody right
I know I've mentioned it before but I'll be celebrating 22nd of December. The day the nights start getting shorter and the daylight longer. To me that's the real start of the new year and well worth making a fuss about. I'll decorate the house with lights and other bright, warm stuff to remind me of what's coming. I'll buy stuff for me mates that they'll be able to use come the better weather and then I'll sit back and wait for the first day the sun feels warm on my back.
Well it works for me :D

[Mitch]

the first year me and Mrs R got together I could tell something was amiss... her upstairs ironing listening to Harry Potter on't Radio! Sprogg was in Germany so I sort of got the idea she hated it then (same as me!)!! :D Anyroad, this year, we're doing similar to Freak, we've both got 23rd and 24th off work and we're getting a pheasant or two in, celebrating the solstice by both of us getting really pissed (probably).

She's working xma day and we're both working boxing day!!

Problem with being pagan is that you wish the rest of the world would just feck off with Xma!!

[dodgyphil]

put me down for the suntan lotion....well I'm nothing if not optimistic!!

[bunbag]

u got it :) bang on u2 to

[Huw Beer Monster]

Once again, the church(es) twist a pagan celebration to suit their own needs and then Mr Corporate Money Making Machine tags along...

[Spike]

http://64.4.61.250/cgi-bin/getmsg/Christmas_Card.jpg?curmbox=00000000%2d0000%2d0000% 2d0000%2d000000000001&a=f252d465adca2354fb7c712efa43a125&msg=D36521FC-BE4C-44D2-A337-047B649CCADC&start=0&len=59383&mimepart=5&disk=10.1.118.12_d2574&login=spike_hostile17&domain=hotmail%2ecom&hm___sig=ec8d4ad601c4e1ee79d1a2e968c26c4507219a215 93671dc

[Mrs Reject]

http://64.4.61.250/cgi-bin/getmsg/Christmas_Card.jpg?curmbox=00000000%2d0000%2d0000% 2d0000%2d000000000001&a=f252d465adca2354fb7c712efa43a125&msg=D36521FC-BE4C-44D2-A337-047B649CCADC&start=0&len=59383&mimepart=5&disk=10.1.118.12_d2574&login=spike_hostile17&domain=hotmail%2ecom&hm___sig=ec8d4ad601c4e1ee79d1a2e968c26c4507219a215 93671dc

The link won't let me in!!!

[mr.chaz]

buying presents? ..chance would be a fine thing! No f*cker wants to take my money today - obviously!!!!

I fancies a nice little Levi style leather jacket , shown on Hein Gericke's website. So's I tell the missus and we drive down to HG Preston. To which we stand about for a good half hour looking like lemons , whilst the manager stood talking to his mate and the young shop lad ignored us ( there's only us in the shop ferchrisakes). Half an hour later , I figure that they haven't got them in stock (nice one HG!!!!- w*nkers!) and have a little look at the lace up jeans they do. I got a pair at the beginning of the year and they were great , so I sent Wycliff for a pair last week - £59.99 ( as shown on website). He liked them too , so's I thought I'd treat the missus to a pair for Crimbo. Only to see they put the retail price up for Christmas to £64.99 - you rip off b*stards. Prices come down for Crimbo , not up!!!!! So I'm incensed, it's a waste of time and out we goes. On the way out , the manager looks up from his conversation and says , " Thank You".
" Thank you for what? Twat! Ignoring me?" sez I and waltzed out.

So we battle the traffic and head to Stuart's Leathers. Nice little shop , good range of leathers , very helpfull lady listening to me effing and blinding but not got what I wants. Did see some cheapy lace jeans , so asked how much. How much? How much? £99 quid!

Does this mean that we all have to do our Christmas shopping at shows like Bulldog and Rock n blues - cos they're the only traders that sell a good selection of leathers at a good price and are happy to humour you and talk a deal. ( Makes mental note to myself.... Crimbo shopping in July...Okay!)

So... it's been a bad morning , but stopping at my fave riverside pub - The Shard - will put everything right. I'll have me pint of coke and a chicken , bacon , lettuce , cheese melt toastie and chips. Good old Shard , they won't let me down!
The Shard Riverside Pub , open all day! I parks up and we walk in , only to be confronted by a female "thing" that sneers at me , You can only have coffee or soft drinks , we're not open for another ten minutes! I look around at people eating and drinking and says , " Righto then , my missus can borrow your toilet and we'll jump back in the car and head home - I'd rather stop at the garage and put the money in the fuel tank of the car than give it to you. I'll cook lunch instead."

Just what the f*ck is it with people in this country? They all moan they can't get a job , then when they do they do it like it's some kind of "effort". Why the f*ck should I give you ( or your company) money if you treat me like a piece of ****? Can nobody figure that one out yet?

Doh!

Looks like it's slippers again this year eh? :eek:

[Rabid1]

just ordered my missus some leather jeans from the USA with the exchange rate at the moment they work out at £40 they are from a firm called adam leathers i have used them before they are cheap but very good. :D

[Gypsy]

doro says



resist the pressure hinny

I do

it's classic when folk at work give me xmas cards but they don't get one back

and why should they? some of them work in the same office as me but only say one or two words to me all year

I don't give cards to peeps just cos they give me one

I give cards to peeps who I want to say happy xmas to and mean it

which this year will be my next door neighbour

that's all

one card

xmas is easy

anyone who thinks less of you just cos they didn't get a card isn't worth sending one to in the 1st place.

presents? kris & my kids & a couple of close friends

easy

ahhhhhh see what a deep hatred of shopping does for you?


I remember doing xmas shopping one year in the metrocentre and I looked at the expensive cr@p the shops were selling (and folk were buying) just cos it was xmas, and I thought of all the folk who were getting nothing and it made me feel ashamed. The 1st xmas where I got nothing except one card and one pressie (off the kids who clubbed together for me) made me feel sad, so the next year when the same thing happened I bought myself a pressie, and I didn't feel sad, more like relieved cos I only had to buy for the kids, life was sweet again :)

buy for who you love and for who deserves something, buy small and cheap, but buy well. A bottle of my fave perfume, or a preety shiny bauble from 'claire's accessories' pleases me if it's something I like, rather that than expensive tat I hate

nothing is worth stress

nothing

we get enough from surviving the rat race so why add to it?


merry xmas, get pissed, sing rude xmas songs, fall over

yyeeeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh



btw top tip for peeps who have lotsa shoping to do but hate the crowds.....do it on the internet :)

[Yoda]

doro says
btw top tip for peeps who have lotsa shoping to do but hate the crowds.....do it on the internet :)

xmas shopping for family, all done now

and yes i thank the lord jesus ala,mohammed,zeus(take your pick) etc for the internet...it is the greatest invention ever

apart from bikes
and the roads
and the sewers


Yoda

[Spike]

The link won't let me in!!!

Ok, i'll try this one then !! (here's hoping !)

http://us.f1f.yahoofs.com/bc/3f92cd81_77ed/bc/Mail+Attachments/Ho+Fuggin+Ho+Ho.jpg?bfl7yvBBEeUIlmMl

[Bosun]

and the roads
and the sewers



and the hospitals, and law and order.. But what el;se have the romans done for us?

[Bosun]

Ok, i'll try this one then !! (here's hoping !)

http://us.f1f.yahoofs.com/bc/3f92cd81_77ed/bc/Mail+Attachments/Ho+Fuggin+Ho+Ho.jpg?bfl7yvBBEeUIlmMl



errr it works how quaint :D

[Bosun]

doro says




anyone who thinks less of you just cos they didn't get a card isn't worth sending one to in the 1st place.

presents? kris & my kids & a couple of close friends


buy for who you love and for who deserves something, buy small and cheap, but buy well. A bottle of my fave perfume, or a preety shiny bauble from 'claire's accessories' pleases me if it's something I like, rather that than expensive tat I hate

nothing is worth stress

nothing

we get enough from surviving the rat race so why add to it?


....do it on the internet :)


couldn't have put it better

and find someone to volunteer for wrapping

[wegit]

The main thing I hate about xmas shopping is the people!!!

Am I the only person that knows how to say "excuse me" ? or "Sorry Mate" (If someone does happen to bump you with a trolly or something) ??

Are manners no longer fashionable ?? I was brought up to say please and thank-you by my father and I bring my kids up to show the same respect. And I am not only talking about the younger generation, I am also talking about my elders !!

In a well known supermarket (ahh fook it. ASDA!!!) We got the the checkout and some snotty little fook starts chucking our purchaces over the scanner an down towards us. Not patiently allowing us to pack the bags but continually piling stuff up on top!!!

I got so p'd off with him I actually threw "The Hungry Huey" game back at him and told him to shove it!! and the rest of the shopping.

Clever little twat !!!

[mr.chaz]

yeah... you're dead right.


f8ck ,f8ck f8cking f8ckers!
they can all f8ck off.
dirty , useless f8cking bastids.
f8ck em , f8ck em, f8ckem all.

all I can say is... thank christ for HMV !
Got me Motley Crue DVD's ( even though the twats' didn't sign me guestbook)

f8ck them too!
f8ckers!

[DANNY]

Keep useing the pills Mr C only two weeks left then its all over for another year

[Friar Tuck]

Roll on Easter, Valentines Day, Mothers Day, Fathers Day and any other effing Day that the commercial marketeers can think of fleecing us of our hard earned!

Bollocks to it all! :mad:

[ForestFred]

couldn't have put it better

and find someone to volunteer for wrapping If ya give em vouchers or cash ya dont even have to wrap it
:D

[wegit]

Only two weeks before the sales start you mean !! then the f**kers are all let loose again !!

Two accidents in Grimsby this morning:

1 old guy knocked of his push-rod and some boy racer argues with a wagon.

Result: The WHOLE of Grimsby grinds to a halt for nearly an hour !!!

[mr.chaz]

Keep useing the pills Mr C only two weeks left then its all over for another year

The f8cking pills don't f8cking well work.
and as those those f8ckers that sold me the f8cking pills in the first place...

f8ckers , the lot of em!

[BlackPig]

Tryin' to be a bit PC................

Excuse me but would you kindly stick your misplaced religious celebrations up your collective arses,I thank you most kindly you consumer cultured "christian" fuckwits.

Oh well,failed again !! :rolleyes:

HAPPY LOG BURNING TO ALL !! :D ;)

[krammer]

Tryin' to be a bit PC................

Excuse me but would you kindly stick your misplaced religious celebrations up your collective arses,I thank you most kindly you consumer cultured "christian" fuckwits.

Oh well,failed again !! :rolleyes:

HAPPY LOG BURNING TO ALL !! :D ;) and a happy santa burning to you! :D

[Yoda]

well you lot would have been proud of me today

i had to venture to Solihull town centre

and they had the two doors th the shopping center (well there were 8 usable doors but the two that were wedged open were being used by about 50,000 people at once.

anyway i thought fuck it and wheeled my chair upto ramming speed and knocked through em like a bowling ball through a strike

i got at least three feet and a good couple of shins and one 'dear old granny' was screaming 'slow down slow down' :eek:

and when me and charmain got through we were in a fit of hysterics......oh the joys of christmas :D

Yoda

[krammer]

well you lot would have been proud of me today

i had to venture to Solihull town centre

and they had the two doors th the shopping center (well there were 8 usable doors but the two that were wedged open were being used by about 50,000 people at once.

anyway i thought fuck it and wheeled my chair upto ramming speed and knocked through em like a bowling ball through a strike

i got at least three feet and a good couple of shins and one 'dear old granny' was screaming 'slow down slow down' :eek:

and when me and charmain got through we were in a fit of hysterics......oh the joys of christmas :D

Yoda well, i hope you're proud of yerself. 'cause you should be!:D

[Gypsy]

doro says



yeah I decided I shouldn't be celebrating a christian festival when I'm not even a christian, but since rew is still ony 14, and yer get the day off work, I thought I should be celebrating something, but what? Not Saturnania cos I don't worship anyfing.

so we came up wif


food festival


well, tis the 2nd most important thing to most peeps at xmas - pressies and xmas dinner - and it is the only time we celebrate with food (cept pancake day)


yeah I have an excuse to celebrate xmas that doesn't involve religion


HAPPY FEASTDAY EVERYONE :D

*smug happy doro*

[Mrs Reject]

Hurrah! We're going to celebrate dancing round our back garden butt naked intoxicated on mulled cider! :) :eek:

One annoying thing today to rival the cnut at Asda who sends yer shopping hurtling towards it's doom (haven't we all had that experience eh?), I had the misfortune to bump into a harbinger of doom gnome at Alliance & Leicester.
You know how it is, there you are waiting in the queue to pay your cheques in or beg for mercy or whatever and you are standing there in your leathers with helmet etc etc and some tosser comes up and says, "You ride a bike then", and you are tempted to reply, "No I always go out dressed like this for fun".
He then tells you at length how he used to have a bike but had to stop riding after his near death experience and how 150 of his friends died riding bikes, then he more or less drops his trousers in his eagerness to show you the biking scars on his arse. After half an hour of this you leave happy in the knowledge you have to ride home in the pissing rain and fog with death waiting around every corner and you wish you had beaten him around the head with sommat!!! It happens all the time to us!!! No sooner do we go somewhere on the bikes everyone we meet has to tell us gory bike crash stories - I wish they would all just PISS OFF:mad:

[Yoda]

Hurrah! We're going to celebrate dancing round our back garden butt naked intoxicated on mulled cider!

WIll the dvd version be on general release after xmas then???

happy in the knowledge you have to ride home in the pissing rain and fog with death

You were following Fayji when he farted then :D

No sooner do we go somewhere on the bikes everyone we meet has to tell us gory bike crash stories - I wish they would all just PISS OFF

well its about this accident of mine the....,dangereous things them bikes :)

Yoda

[Sir Ewok]

He then tells you at length how he used to have a bike but had to stop riding after his near death experience and how 150 of his friends died riding bikes, then he more or less drops his trousers in his eagerness to show you the biking scars on his arse.


He was only trying to help, you haertless swine.


Gypsy, you could always celebrate Having A day Off Work Day.

Wishing you a Merry Having A Day Off Work Day and a Happy Similar Day Off a Week Later Day..... See Ewokandtucks new line of non-Christian Christmas Cards. Ideal for Muslims, Buddhists and Taoists... Very Cheap!

[Doro]

He then tells you at length how he used to have a bike but had to stop riding after his near death experience and how 150 of his friends died riding bikes,


upon which you reply...........


'well the roads are obviously a lot safer without you on em'



hahahahahahaha


anyway I liked your first choice best, give in to temptation Mrs, when someone asks if you ride a bike (while in leathers and carrying yer helmet)

say NO


ahhhhhh

that's better

*grin*