normanmarina
22-06-2007, 01:33 PM
The following really long joke I found dick pinchingly funny,but see what you think,a mental image of the punchline helps!!
Two skint irishmen are swapping ideas on how to get some cash!!as they are in a rural area Paddy says "why dont we enter the pig of the year show?first prize is £2500!!" to which Seamus replies "we havent got a pig!!" Paddy muses for a while and says "we could buy a piglet runt and feed it up!!""how's that"says Seamus "we cant feed ourselves!!" "we could cork its arse up!!"says Paddy,so a runt piglet is bartered from a farmer for two hours spud picking,Paddy rams a cork up its arse and begins to feed it on absolutely anything fattening he can find!!as the competition arrives their pig is bloody huge but bloody uncomfortable!!!,they enter and win!!so Seamus says"right Paddy take the cork out for the poor bugger!!""no bloody fear!!"says Paddy"i'll get covered in ****!!""well we cant just leave him"Seamus replies,they decide to buy a monkey and teach it to remove corks rewarding it with bananas!!!so comes the day to remove the cork from this great **** filled pig!!!!Seamus says"I'm going a field back!!"Paddy says "not far enough for me!!" and retreats two fields armed with binoculars!!Seamus signals the monkey to pull the cork which it does,the resulting explosion uproots bushes knocks down dry stone walls and overturns farm machinery!!!!!!when it all subsides Paddy focuses his glasses on a very relieved pig and pans back to see Seamus up to his neck in pig**** laughing his head off!!!!he wades down and asks"what the bloody hell are you laughing at your up to the neck in pig ****!!I really cant see anything to laugh at!!""aah says Seamus you obviously couldnt see the monkey trying to shove the cork back!!!!!!!!!"
cheers all Col. :D
Two skint irishmen are swapping ideas on how to get some cash!!as they are in a rural area Paddy says "why dont we enter the pig of the year show?first prize is £2500!!" to which Seamus replies "we havent got a pig!!" Paddy muses for a while and says "we could buy a piglet runt and feed it up!!""how's that"says Seamus "we cant feed ourselves!!" "we could cork its arse up!!"says Paddy,so a runt piglet is bartered from a farmer for two hours spud picking,Paddy rams a cork up its arse and begins to feed it on absolutely anything fattening he can find!!as the competition arrives their pig is bloody huge but bloody uncomfortable!!!,they enter and win!!so Seamus says"right Paddy take the cork out for the poor bugger!!""no bloody fear!!"says Paddy"i'll get covered in ****!!""well we cant just leave him"Seamus replies,they decide to buy a monkey and teach it to remove corks rewarding it with bananas!!!so comes the day to remove the cork from this great **** filled pig!!!!Seamus says"I'm going a field back!!"Paddy says "not far enough for me!!" and retreats two fields armed with binoculars!!Seamus signals the monkey to pull the cork which it does,the resulting explosion uproots bushes knocks down dry stone walls and overturns farm machinery!!!!!!when it all subsides Paddy focuses his glasses on a very relieved pig and pans back to see Seamus up to his neck in pig**** laughing his head off!!!!he wades down and asks"what the bloody hell are you laughing at your up to the neck in pig ****!!I really cant see anything to laugh at!!""aah says Seamus you obviously couldnt see the monkey trying to shove the cork back!!!!!!!!!"
cheers all Col. :D