Problem page!

[Mrs Reject]

What we need is a problem page on this forum, me and Mitch have lots of petty problems we'd like to bore you with and we'd also like to get other people to take sides in our marital arguments :D :)
I'm sure you lot also have a lot of problems which need that 'gentle touch' or if you prefer we can tell you to "pull yourslf together".
As Mitch is now off to do some unaccustomed DIY I'm sure we will be talking to the problem auntie later.

[Jonnyfp]

please see my last new thread.
I order you all to cheer up. besides its bound to be the blokes in the right. :D

[ForestFred]

I'll help with any problems anyone might have and I'll guarantee I'll be cheaper than Messers Ewok and Tuck :D

[Doro]

methinks that's a brill idea, and Mrs R....I'm on your side, always (it's a girl thang) :D

[crisp]

we did try and set up a similar thing in the mag but not many used the email address supplied

admittedly it was aimed at tech problems but i dont mind taking on a few more personal matters!!!

i mean im not a qualified gyneacologist but i will have a look at it for you
if it helps!!! :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[Peirre]

[QUOTE=crisp]i mean im not a qualified gyneacologist but i will have a look at it for you
if it helps!!! QUOTE]
hey if you need any help looking into those kinda problems I`m only too willing to lend a hand :eek: :eek: :D

[Mrs Reject]

methinks that's a brill idea, and Mrs R....I'm on your side, always (it's a girl thang) :D

Thanks Doro!!! :D :D
I have a 'friend' who's husband has over 100 teashirts, this 'friend' is sick and tired of ironing said teashirts and has no room for her own clothes in the wardrobe. What should my 'friend' do about this irritant???? :eek:

[Miss Demeanour]

right...

1) Iron t-shirts? Bejesus! life's way too short.

2) Take them out of wardrobe, and put them in a pile on the floor. If you fold them up like they do in the shops, they stack quite nicely.

Miss Demeanour, the voice of reason.

[Jonnyfp]

I bet they iron pants too. :confused:

whats the point ya can't see em. lol

[crisp]

ironing underwear???

jesus it should fit so tight there shouldn't be a wrinkle in sight

ok maybe just a small crease where it has to fold into the middle digit of the

camels foot but hey thats the best bit!!

or buy edible ones............

[oggers80]

I have a 'friend' who's husband has over 100 teashirts, this 'friend' is sick and tired of ironing said teashirts and has no room for her own clothes in the wardrobe. What should my 'friend' do about this irritant???? :eek:[/QUOTE]
pick the 5 he wears wears most and bin the rest. He won't notice anyway!:D

[Jonnyfp]

yes and they'll never be short of polishing rags.

don't dump limited editions or rally t'shirts tho. :D

[Sir Ewok]

Why do you hang T's anyway? Fold'em and put them in drawers. Must be odd a woman complaining the guy is taking too much wardrobe space, obviously don't like the boot on the other foot. :p

[Bosun]

i dont want anyone putting my t's in her drawers thankyou :)

[Sir Ewok]

Liar, but you want to be wearing it at the time!!!

[Mitch]

yes and they'll never be short of polishing rags.

don't dump limited editions or rally t'shirts tho. :D

that's the trouble... this 'friend' of Mrs R's husband's t-shirt collection are almost totally made up of rare gig, rally or pubs they've totally got pissed (cos of the nice beer) in. oh yeah, and this old AWoL sweatshirt said friend's husband bought at Crazy Daze ten years ago (now faded and having a big chunk of the left arm ripped out).

[Jonnyfp]

Best get a bigger wardrobe then. :D

[Rabid]

Best get a bigger wardrobe then. :D
Or a more understanding wife :p

[Doro]

miss D is right

I LOVE ironing (really) but only ever need to iron cotton shirts and that's rare


my top tip is to shake all the creases out when still wet and hang up in a crease free way, they never need ironing then, works for other stuff too

fold as miss D suggets when dry


alternatively


make him do his own bloody ironing




tell him to chosse 20 faves and store the rest in a box somehwere out of the way - he can rotate them on a monthly basis so he doesn't get bored




hope this helps your erm 'friend' :D

[BikerGran]

I don't understand why peeps are expressing surprise about 'ironing pants' or 'ironing t shirts'.....

I just don't understand the concept of ironing! It simply ain't necessary - why does anyone do it?

:confused:


*hobbles off scratching head............*

[Yoda]

miss D is right

I LOVE ironing (really) but only ever need to iron cotton shirts and that's rare
:D

What sort of sicko are you :eek:

and even admitting to it in public

and anyway everyone knows the 'new ironing' is called a tumble dryer :)

Yoda

[bunbag]

we did try and set up a similar thing in the mag but not many used the email address supplied

admittedly it was aimed at tech problems but i dont mind taking on a few more personal matters!!!

i mean im not a qualified gyneacologist but i will have a look at it for you
if it helps!!! :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

why not try the kipper clinic :)

[BlackPig]

I thought iron was a mineral WTF do you want t' put it on t-shirts for ????? :rolleyes:

[Bosun]

I thought iron was a mineral WTF do you want t' put it on t-shirts for ????? :rolleyes:


ballast on windy days :rolleyes:

[ForestFred]

I think mrs R's 'friend' should thank the gods an be gratful she has such a wonderful am understanding husband get back behind that ironing board an stop bloody whinging :p :D

[Mrs Reject]

I think mrs R's 'friend' should thank the gods an be gratful she has such a wonderful am understanding husband get back behind that ironing board an stop bloody whinging

:eek: :eek: :eek:

[BlackPig]

ballast on windy days :rolleyes:


Oh,goody !!!
Sprouts again then. :D :rolleyes:

[krammer]

i have a 'friend' who's wife moans at him for smelling of garlic. i er ..sorry, my 'friend' suspects she may be a vampire. can anybody help me......him?

[BlackPig]

i have a 'friend' who's wife moans at him for smelling of garlic. i er ..sorry, my 'friend' suspects she may be a vampire. can anybody help me......him?


Get them teeth sorted,they suck like good'uns. :D :rolleyes:

[Sir Ewok]

First you need a wooden stake and a mallet. Never use a hammer as it is designed for metal and you could get splinters. Wait till daylight and bash the stake through her cold, cold heart. Cheaper than a divorce and if the madness claim works, you will be out in a few years.....

[krammer]

First you need a wooden stake and a mallet. Never use a hammer as it is designed for metal and you could get splinters. Wait till daylight and bash the stake through her cold, cold heart. Cheaper than a divorce and if the madness claim works, you will be out in a few years..... thanks so much for the advice. i would do it myself but i suspect there would be a terrible mess. looked in the birmingham 'phone book and van helsing is not listed. ex directory?

[slugonamission]

try blade, he might be there, or buffy :p

[Sir Ewok]

try Transylvania 999

[Friar Tuck]

Right, Uncle Tuck here!

Mrs.R! Here's the deal! Leave your "Friend" and his 'T' shirts, as I have a "friend" that has some great jumpers that he would be willing to share with you! Oh, and he would be very interested in discussing the merits of Air hostess Uniforms versus Nursey Uniforms. So I strongly advise you to bring these with you!

Krammer! What's your..... I mean your "friend's" Problem? All female vampires are drop DEAD gorgeous with big tits! ( well they are according to Russ Meyer!) Ok, They might smell a bit after a while, and bits of body drop off, but they will always be good for a shag!

As for the mallet and steak? smash the steak with the mallet to tenderise it, chuck the steak on a barbie, cook till black and wash down with lots of alcohol!

Problems sorted!

Next!

[Jonnyfp]

thanks so much for the advice. i would do it myself but i suspect there would be a terrible mess. looked in the birmingham 'phone book and van helsing is not listed. ex directory?


Look under 'Practical van hire' they're in digbeth and only charge a flat rate.
but they'll want 120 up front.

[krammer]

Look under 'Practical van hire' they're in digbeth and only charge a flat rate.
but they'll want 120 up front. thanks jonny. :D :D

[Nitrowing]

Problem page? Oh Christ...
I've known my neighbour since she was 15... :eek:

[Sir Ewok]

I 'Knew' my first wife when she was 15, so you can tell me your sordid secrets and I won't tell anybody, Honest!

[Mrs Reject]

Dear Auntie, I have a pathological irritation and hatred of anyone eating crisp like substances in my ear, my beloved is next door eating an enormous bag of prawn crackers and I am sat here polishing the axe - what should I do (same applies to gum chewing sweet sucking in the cinema etc etc)
Grrrrrrr!

[krammer]

Dear Auntie, I have a pathological irritation and hatred of anyone eating crisp like substances in my ear, my beloved is next door eating an enormous bag of prawn crackers and I am sat here polishing the axe - what should I do (same applies to gum chewing sweet sucking in the cinema etc etc)
Grrrrrrr! prawn crackers soaked in curry sauce don't make much noise. you could always polish mitch's chopper, i swear by brasso. :eek:

[Friar Tuck]

Dear Auntie, I have a pathological irritation and hatred of anyone eating crisp like substances in my ear, my beloved is next door eating an enormous bag of prawn crackers and I am sat here polishing the axe - what should I do (same applies to gum chewing sweet sucking in the cinema etc etc)
Grrrrrrr!
You really, really must learn to control your anger!

Sod it! Take his head off! come to me and bring yer Danair Uniform!

[Bosun]

dear agony aunt..
i know of a man of the cloth who may need defrocking over his fetishes for nurses uniforms and airline uniforms ( not totally sure if just your basic uniform fetish)
should we apply leeches?

[Sir Ewok]

Yes, Especially to the genitals, it reduces the amount of blood and the organ becomes flaccid and the trombone goes flat.

[Jay]

Mrs R.

You can help your friend with the T-Shirt problem......I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN THERE !

[Mrs Reject]

Can't possibly get rid of that one :D We're going to have it framed. We looked like Bishop Brennan after he had been kicked up the arse when that came out at the party heehee :)

[pale rider]

dont know why you women need clothes any way a naked woman is like a bike full of fuel ready to go.just wear his shirts ,so you wont waste mony buying clothes or mone that you have to ione them

[Bosun]

dear agony aunt
it has been so long since a problem like this occured that i do not know whewre to begin
should , i mean is it possible or indeed feasable to....










well i mean







its a little bit embarrasing......












I have watched richard and judy for a whole episode


please tell me how to exspunge such awful thoughts :(

[Juke]

all I can say Fayji is it must have bored you ****less if you have been trawled this thread up from 2 years ago mate................





































by the way, who was on R & J anyway?.......... :p

[Maggie B]

There is nothing wrong with Prickchard & Broody

Especially if you are looking for a smashing holiday chic lit read, or a fine wine that they recommend with an RRP of £16.99 & above

Howeverm if you find yourself reaching for the phone to call the extortionate premium line because you know the answer to the "you say we pay" competition, which runs along the intellectual lines of

What are you currently watching
a) a Television
b) Your weight
c) the masses of demons rushing out of the box, screaming into my brain telling me to self flagilate, then run naked, brandishing a samuarai sword screaming "clangers and daleks are coming, give me your heads now to save you from being cybermen"



Seek help

[Juke]

yep, I sure will............... :p

[Bosun]

its c its c


wheres the phone :)

[Womble_Lancs]

that's the trouble... this 'friend' of Mrs R's husband's t-shirt collection are almost totally made up of rare gig, rally or pubs they've totally got pissed (cos of the nice beer) in. oh yeah, and this old AWoL sweatshirt said friend's husband bought at Crazy Daze ten years ago (now faded and having a big chunk of the left arm ripped out).

Sorry folks, but I'm with the 'friend' on this one. Nearly all of my t-shirts hold some sort of special memories for me and yes, I hang them up. Well, the ones that fit in the wardrobe, that is. Those that are too precious to wear are neatly folded and boxed :cool:

[John Hopkins]

What is this ironing anyway,? is it some strange English word? :confused: John

[shaggy696969]

Its what thin people use to get creases out of T-shirts :eek: :D :D

[Violetmay]

Ironing can be very relaxing of a sunday morning.:D .. I put T4 on the telly... and steam away. But most of my clothes seem to dry even so don't do them, only proper cotton t's and bed linen.. yes you got to iron your sheets and duvet covers..they smell lush and go all nice. But I don't do pants socks t-towels even jeans... and toads works shirts are drip dry wrinkle free.

[shaggy696969]

yes you got to iron your sheets and duvet covers...
Ohh no you dont , dont listen boys its all girl work leave it to em.

[Violetmay]

Ohh no you dont , dont listen boys its all girl work leave it to em.
Ah bless you who told you that? If you lived alone say.. and had nice fresh bedding etc.. and bought your lady friend back.. she'd see nice clean bed and think mmmmm hint of spring comfort... nice. If you left last months sheets on the bed unless she was pissed or not fussy she'd take a sniff and go. So there are times it pays to launder and steam..:D

[Fran]

Ah bless you who told you that? If you lived alone say.. and had nice fresh bedding etc.. and bought your lady friend back.. she'd see nice clean bed and think mmmmm hint of spring comfort... nice. If you left last months sheets on the bed unless she was pissed or not fussy she'd take a sniff and go. So there are times it pays to launder and steam..:D


It's a very bad sign if the covers fall off the bed & break! :eek:

[shaggy696969]

ITS GIRLS WORK. GET OVER IT ! :D

[Violetmay]

It's a very bad sign if the covers fall off the bed & break! :eek:
yukkk. We shared a flat with a lad who didn't do laundry asuch. We opened his bedroom door once and wondered where the strange smell was coming from. It was his bedding. odour de young man.:D

[Violetmay]

ITS GIRLS WORK. GET OVER IT ! :D yes master, now let me iron your pants whilst your still in them..:D

[Fran]

yes master, now let me iron your pants whilst your still in them..:D


You'll have to soften them up with a hammer first! :p

[andi696969]

i am a girly but i have not used an ahhhhhh iron for years :D iron sheets no chance.... get satin ones :D :D

[PILRCGeff]

i am a girly but i have not used an ahhhhhh iron for years :D iron sheets no chance.... get satin ones :D :D

I find the rubber type dont need ironing - or washing! :eek:

[andi696969]

I find the rubber type dont need ironing - or washing! :eek:


true... just a damp cloth and either baby oil or talc depending on your mood,

:rolleyes: :cool:

[Bosun]

i like ironing


but we have an ironing and food fairy in this house :D

[Friar Tuck]

true... just a damp cloth and either baby oil or talc depending on your mood,

:rolleyes: :cool:
You wouldn't fancy applying that with a Nursey Uniform on, hmm?

[Juke]

i like ironing


but we have an ironing and food fairy in this house :D


I have owned an iron for 7 years..........
aint had a plug on it for 6................................ :rolleyes:


takes me all me effort to wash me clothes, let alone iron 'em........ :mad:

[shaggy696969]

You wouldn't fancy applying that with a Nursey Uniform on, hmm?
She sometimes does ..................

[critch]

yukkk. We shared a flat with a lad who didn't do laundry asuch. We opened his bedroom door once and wondered where the strange smell was coming from. It was his bedding. odour de young man.:D

a lad who rented a flat in my mates house stunk.

when he moved out we found 15 cider bottles full of stale piss behind the sofa in his flat........

[Mankind F.M.B.]

I have a 'friend' who's husband has over 100 teashirts, this 'friend' is sick and tired of ironing said teashirts and has no room for her own clothes in the wardrobe. What should my 'friend' do about this irritant???? :eek:

Simple. Move to a bigger house.

[Bosun]

a lad who rented a flat in my mates house stunk.

when he moved out we found 15 cider bottles full of stale piss behind the sofa in his flat........

nice :eek:

one nurse when she left the nurses home after 2 years
they found she had never changed the bed sheets
there was a crusty sweat type imprint, and whatever else
and stuck rigid to the mattress :)

mmmmmm :D

[Maggie B]

nice

one nurse when she left the nurses home after 2 years
they found she had never changed the bed sheets
there was a crusty sweat type imprint, and whatever else
and stuck rigid to the mattress :)

mmmmmm

Nice :rolleyes:

Hmm

Nurses-coming to an MRSA ward near you :eek: