Question for the folk with kids..

[Jonnyfp]

How long have you heard of slow labours going for?
the longest gets a shoe horn. lol

[devilsquest2000]

well with my second born the miss's was moanin for 4 days about pain in her back and this and that so for 4 days i keep tellin her to shut up then on the 5th day i tock her to the doctors(a 2 mile walk :D )when we got there they called an ambulance as shed been in labour the whole time and 2 days later we had a boy :rolleyes:

[brandersnatch]

Beats Mrs.B 24 hours with (Tom now 18)

[TaxiDave]

A few hours for the first and just a mere two days with our second, and they say blokes don't know what pain is. Well I've lived with her for seventeen years and been married to her for fifteen, so I've suffered.

[Mrs Reject]

48 hours of screaming agony, stitches up to armpits - don't even start me off on this one :(

[Yoda]

PAhh women dont know what pain is
do ya
....
...
..
.
..
...
....
everyone know that there is no worse pain than a man having a paper cut :)

Yoda

[Sir Ewok]

The worse papercuts are inflicted by the CSA, Cut a lot of paper out of yer wages......

[Jonnyfp]

I may add at this point...peeps who have looked after expectant mums to the title too.. looks abit eletist that folk with kids would be the only ones with an opinion on this.
apologies..

[Doro]

*ahem*











how about the quickest?

no.1 = 3 hours
no.2 = 45mins
no.3 = 20mins


although



and this might make the girlies on here hate me




the labours could have been longer, but I wouldn't know, because the times recorded above were the length of time I had any pains for including pushing




yeaahhhh


shelling peas....!!!!



*smug*





but, I had the worst pregnancies, morning sickness 24/7 for the whle time with no.1 not so bad with no.2 (had a girl that time) and a few 'losing the baby' scares with no. 3

they were all 5-7 weeks prem too


ho hum

[wegit]

no.1 = 3 hours
no.2 = 45mins
no.3 = 20mins


There's a reason for that:

No.1 = Nice & tight
No.2 = No so tight
No.3 = Can't feel a bloody thing

LOL

Just kidding Doro. We stopped after No.2, didn't want to get to three !!!!

[Doro]

hey


d'you wanna slap??????





*mutters*





now, where was my xmas card list...oh yeah there it is......so short now I can hardly see it


:D :D

[wegit]

http://www.100-biker.co.uk/forums/images/icons/icon7.gifhttp://www.100-biker.co.uk/forums/images/icons/icon7.gif I said I was kidding..... Please put me back on you chrissy card list http://www.100-biker.co.uk/forums/images/icons/icon7.gifhttp://www.100-biker.co.uk/forums/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Doro]

*shakes head*









maybe even




yes



there it is






*pet lip*

[Jay]

Well I am already avoiding the wrath of Mrs for that T-Shirt I made so I may as well show what a typical bloke I am..

Zachary's Birth nearly killed him and Ang but it was 4.5 hours from start of pains, he was 3 months early and 5lb.

Alexander took exactly the same time but was 1 day late and was 10 lb.

I have to say that those 9 hours seemed to last longer than the pregnancies to me as I didn't have a soddin clue what was going on or what to do!

[Jonnyfp]

The ex was 36 hours..
7lb 6oz
And i did'nt feel a thing..lol

[Mrs Reject]

*ahem*











and this might make the girlies on here hate me



*smug*


ho hum

Yup we all hate you :D
I simply cannot understand how the process can be like shelling peas, to me it was like being put on the rack with thumbscrews and having boiling oil poured over as well, total unrelenting agony and torture from beginning to end, no epidural because the anaethetist was away despite the fact I'd asked for one right from the beginning. I was so traumatised by it all and the suction extraction I refused to have any more children!!!
The worst thing is I swore at all the nurses and threatened to kill them all horribly and threw things and three months after the birth I was sent there to work (I was a student nurse at Bedford General). I refused to speak to them because I felt they were sadistic bastards and they didn't speak to me after my exhibition so it was a long lonely placement :mad:
I also told my husband of the time to fuck off and die so he made good his escape and didn't reappear until the next day.

[madastoast]

Mrs M was
40 hours with 1st (Epidural,Sucking ice lolies and generally OK)
20 mins with 2nd (Pethadine, Pukin' and screamin')
8 hours with 3rd (Sod all, T-shirt mangling and screamin')

She wouldn't even let me videotape it all. T'would a gone down great at christmas dinner :D

[Mrs Reject]

I think for most women it's more like Alien bursting out of that bloke's stomach than shelling peas :D

[Gypsy]

hey


d'you wanna slap??????





*mutters*





now, where was my xmas card list...oh yeah there it is......so short now I can hardly see it


:D :D

dont believe her.... there is no xmas card list :p :D

[Jonnyfp]

Robin Williams likened it to passing a bowling ball or having an umbrella opened up your arse.

[Doro]

well, there would be a xmas card list if anyone was ever nice enough to me to be put on it...!!!!!!!



hahahahahahahaha





my 3rd child was born while my hubby was away at sea so my best mate came with me, she'd just had her baby a fe months before and was in agony for 3 days, even with an epidural...


boy did she call me some names when the nurse had to tell me when I was having a contraction (she knew cos of the m/c strapped to my tummy)

[BikerGran]

You know they always tell you "Oh you forget the pain of childbirth..." and you want to ask how long it takes?

Well my youngest is 28 and I really think I have forgotten now! But only after it was too late to have any more, thank god!

I do remember insisting that after coping for ages with the induced labour with my first I was persuaded against my own wishes to have pethedine and then hadn't a clue what was going on. So when I was pregnant again 5 years later I was determined to have a natural birth - no induction, no pethedine. Read all the books, went to all the classes, when I was 10 days late and they wanted to induce the birth I said YES PLEASE! Longest 10 days of my life!

[bunbag]

Mrs Bunbag here. 48 hours. Told not to swear because bunbag knows all the nurses. I didn't swear when the nurses were there but when they left, he said it was like something out of the Excorsist. After all the pain and suffering I delivered a beautiful baby boy - 12lb 8oz :eek: - yes that weight is right - 12lb 8oz. I had no pain relief whatsoever so the idea of passing a bowling ball seems about right.

[Jonnyfp]

Mrs Bunbag here. 48 hours. Told not to swear because bunbag knows all the nurses. I didn't swear when the nurses were there but when they left, he said it was like something out of the Excorsist. After all the pain and suffering I delivered a beautiful baby boy - 12lb 8oz :eek: - yes that weight is right - 12lb 8oz. I had no pain relief whatsoever so the idea of passing a bowling ball seems about right.


FUCKIN ELL!

[Born2bVile]

Our eldest was 9 hours of pure agony.

Our second was about half an hour of pain.

Oh, by the way, I am a bloke.

The 9 hours of pain was Kel digging her nails into my hand. I had to wet his head left-handed.

The half hour of pain was when I banged my leg on that metal bedframe.

You women think you have it tough?

Nobody offered me any drugs................

Cheers,

Byrnie.

[madastoast]

I think for most women it's more like Alien bursting out of that bloke's stomach than shelling peas :D
Do women have their stomach in adifferent place to blokes then :confused:

[brandersnatch]

12lb 8oz :eek: -.
WOW! :eek: :eek:

[Mrs Reject]

*No pain relief whatsoever*

WHY, WHY, WHY *writhes on floor* do folk insist on being so masochistic, would your bloke have his appendix removed without a general anaesthetic because it is more natural - NO!
I always insist on the maximum amount of drugs for any procedure and say if I feel any pain I will sue :)
Christ 12 lbs 8 tho' bloody hell. Oooh, I'm crossing my legs just thinking about it!!! :eek:

[Otter]

Kel digging her nails into my hand.

And then after that - her digging her nails into the holes that she made the first time with that look in her eye that said "You can suffer a bit too, you bastard".

Those marks have only just disappeared - and the lad was born in May.