Bassman
14-11-2004, 01:14 AM
This bloke starts working at a zoo and on his first day is given three tasks, the first of which is to clear out all the weeds from the exotic fish pool. So he starts on this when suddenly a bloody great fish leaps out
and bites him. The bloke isn't going to let some animal have a go at him so he beats the offending fish to death. Afterwards, he realises that his boss
isn't going to be best pleased, so he tries to think of a way to hide the dead fish. Eventually, he hits on the brilliant idea of giving the fish to the lions, as lions will eat anything. So that's what he does.
The bloke then moves on to his second job, which is to clean the monkey house. He gets stuck in, but suddenly a couple of chimps start throwing sh1t at him. Losing his temper, the bloke whacks both chimps with his spade, killing them instantly. The bloke is now ****ting himself, but decides that he can't afford to lose his job, so he feeds the chimps to the lions, knowing, of course, that lions will eat anything.
The bloke then moves on to his last job, which is to collect honey from some South American bees. He starts on this and obviously gets attacked by the bees. Infuriated, he pulps their hive. At this point the bloke isn't too worried because he now knows exactly what to do. So off he goes and
feeds the dead bees to the lions.
Later on that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. This lion wanders up to another lion and asks, "What's the food like here?" The other lion replies,...
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"Absolutely brilliant. Today I had fish and chimps with mushy bees."
:D
and bites him. The bloke isn't going to let some animal have a go at him so he beats the offending fish to death. Afterwards, he realises that his boss
isn't going to be best pleased, so he tries to think of a way to hide the dead fish. Eventually, he hits on the brilliant idea of giving the fish to the lions, as lions will eat anything. So that's what he does.
The bloke then moves on to his second job, which is to clean the monkey house. He gets stuck in, but suddenly a couple of chimps start throwing sh1t at him. Losing his temper, the bloke whacks both chimps with his spade, killing them instantly. The bloke is now ****ting himself, but decides that he can't afford to lose his job, so he feeds the chimps to the lions, knowing, of course, that lions will eat anything.
The bloke then moves on to his last job, which is to collect honey from some South American bees. He starts on this and obviously gets attacked by the bees. Infuriated, he pulps their hive. At this point the bloke isn't too worried because he now knows exactly what to do. So off he goes and
feeds the dead bees to the lions.
Later on that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. This lion wanders up to another lion and asks, "What's the food like here?" The other lion replies,...
Wait for it
Scroll down
Just a bit more
"Absolutely brilliant. Today I had fish and chimps with mushy bees."
:D