A Notice to All Americans

[saxman]

Notice to Americans of Revocation of Independence from the Government Of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your failure to elect a sane President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves with consideration for the rest of world, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.

Your new prime minister (The Rt Hon, Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect.

· You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels.
· Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.
· Look up "interspersed". By the way, there is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.
· Arrest Mel Gibson for treason.
· You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.
· You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.
· Stop referring to the "World Series" of Baseball and instead call it the "USA, Cuba and Japan Championship."
· Learn to enjoy warm flat beer and steak and kidney pudding.
· Train waitresses to be more aggressive with customers and not to tell you their names before you eat.
· You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky.
· The Russians have never been the bad guys.
· "Merde" is French for "sh*t".
· July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day."
· Driving on the left is now compulsory - recall all cars to effect the change immediately.
· Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your cooperation and... Have a nice day!

[Jonnyfp]

I dare you to post that here..
http://totalmotorcycle.com/BBS/viewforum.php?f=63

[saxman]

done :D

http://totalmotorcycle.com/BBS/viewtopic.php?p=29658#29658

sits back and watches with glee :D

[defarter]

Well that should chuck some sh*t on the fire :D :D :D :D

[Jonnyfp]

Snigger :D

[defarter]

They will no doubt BOMB us now :eek: :D :D

[Jonnyfp]

done :D

http://totalmotorcycle.com/BBS/viewtopic.php?p=29658#29658

sits back and watches with glee :D


He did as well. :eek:
this should be interesting. :D

[saxman]

He did as well. :eek:
this should be interesting. :D
hmmmmmm 9 veiws so far and no bites yet, maybe they dont undrerstand it. :D

[defarter]

hmmmmmm 9 veiws so far and no bites yet, maybe they dont undrerstand it. :D


Sounds about right :D :D

[sprintbint]

It's probably too intellectual for them :D :D :D

[Jonnyfp]

10 now. hmmm :D

[defarter]

Mybe they are waiting for G Bush to reply first and he is trying to find out who the Queen is :D :D :D

[Dougie]

Wot makes ye think Dubya can even read never mind write or type?He probably can't even count to 22 without taking his cowboy boots off!(it's the redneck inbreeding y'know!)

[Jonnyfp]

Still no bites. :mad:

[cxdemon]

Still early in the morning for some of them don't forget.
get a few beers in em and then watch the red necks go :D


once they find someone to read it to them that is :D

[Fran]

They will no doubt BOMB us now :eek: :D :D
I think you'll find that's called "friendly fire". :o

[defarter]

I think you'll find that's called "friendly fire". :o


......... :D :D :D

[Fran]

Friendly fire has got to be one of the most insulting terms I've ever heard.Sounds like the poor bugger was tickled to death!That's the thing about going into "conflicts" as backup to the Yanks....you've got to watch your back for the enemy & the Yanks.... :mad:

[Fran]

George Bush finaly found the weapons of mass destruction he was looking for.....they're called ballot papers....... :eek:

[Mitch]

Look at where the Moderator's from - Ohio -her reaction just about says it all really!

I think all the views it's had are from us lot having a good gawk!! good fun though :D

[Bosun]

tooo late for their win a bike contest as well :(

will have to win the draggie then

[Jonnyfp]

It sounds good to me! I surrender. Take me back!

Cheers,
Loonette



What a star. :D

[Jonnyfp]

They're not so happy on bikershangout tho are they, not nearly so keen. :D

[saxman]

They're not so happy on bikershangout tho are they, not nearly so keen. :D
:D :D :D

[saxman]

well they took the bait then :D :D :D :D

http://www.bikershangout.com/forums/showthread.php?p=2368#post2368

[madastoast]

[B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=1]Hook, Line, sinker and half the rod :D :D :D

[sprintbint]

I think sax has just started war on the Bikershangout Forum...might need some help chaps :D :cool: :D

[bill?]

I've not read this thread yet, but if all americans can shoot them selves they will be doing the world a favour in ending the war on terrorism.

[Grav]

Sax, you are a very naughty boy. :eek:

[saxman]

:eek:
they are threatening to delete my thread.........


:eek: :eek: :D

[saxman]

Sax, you are a very naughty boy. :eek:
no i'm not :p

[saxman]

i've been barred :mad:


:D :D :rolleyes:

[sprintbint]

Oh dear sax :eek:

[saxman]

Oh dear sax :eek:
thread deleted ffs :mad:

[saxman]

"Your Ass Is Banned
My Brother Wolf, Just Called & Woke Me From My Nap.. It Appears That This Asshole Monstersax From The U.k. Could Not Take A Suggestion To Shut His Fucking Mouth With His Bull****.. It Was Suggested I Understand That He Just Be Ignored.. Well We Will Ignore Him.. The Stupid Bastard Has Just Been Banned From This Site By Me... I Said I Would Not Tolerate Any Member Being Unduly Harrassed & I Damn Well Meant It.. His Banned Status Is Permanent.. If He Or Anyone Like Him Returns Under Another Name There Will Be No Talk.. I Will Press The Fucking Button On Their Ass.. We Gave Him The Oppurtunity To Get Right .. Oh, Well Tough **** Now.. Let Me Also State, That His Ip Address Was Traced Back To A Bike Site In The U.k. & He Is So Down On Americans That His Avatar There Is Of Z.z. Top.. Talk About A Loser.. I Apologize To All Members, Because I Gave Him The Second Chance & The Benefit Of A Doubt.. So Any Undue Harrassment Was My Fault.. All His Posts Will Be Deleted A.s.a.p. So Worry No More.. The Fucker Is Out-a-here".

:D :p

and they wanted us to visit theyre site
:rolleyes:

[dracken1]

if you posted the same thread as you did here. then i think its a sad day when a country. which comes over as being free, very powerfull etc, cannot even laugh at itself as we do about ours.
i was going to post it on the chopperunderground forum, but its down atm.

i guess that even with all thier power and punch they are an insecure race.

9 11 was a sad day, they asked for and they got british support for iraqh.
but while we (a fellow nato country) were suffering from ira bombs they were allowing them into thier country, falklands! they did'nt want to know!!!

and lets not forget the old chesnut "we saved your asses in ww2," they also saved thier own as germany was a very advanced power with weapons of mass destruction well in advanced development. which if the commonwealth forces had not curtailed and if we had folded the usa would have been next.
(hitler wanted world domination remember). unless of course america went for a truce.
people like that guy on there do nothing for international relationships.

[witchypoo]

I go on that site and I copied the original text from saxmans first post, ( before anyone else did) and on the site they took it in good faith, wtf do you expect when you go in post something like that and not even introduce your self. I think this was posted just to wind people up. If thats the case then its time you got a life

[Yoda]

I go on that site and I copied the original text from saxmans first post, ( before anyone else did) and on the site they took it in good faith, wtf do you expect when you go in post something like that and not even introduce your self. I think this was posted just to wind people up. If thats the case then its time you got a life

well maybe the spammer who posted here knows how it feels now, and maybe stop spamming groups.
everyone else here with a site has had the decency to run it by Pat first before even cosidering posting or promoting their site
i say that if it upset them then good.....if they didnt post spam i the first place then they wouldnt get it back.

i feel there reply has a lot to do with Pots and Kettles

Yoda

[Braces]

I,ve just had a look at this site, they sound like a bunch of i love uncle sam, everyone else can kiss my ass, tories. They were complaining about their fuel being about £1.80 £2.00 a gallon ffs dont you just feel sorry for them .....not, i dont mind Americans but their patriotic bull**** makes me wana puke, they aint got much to be proud of, nor have we come to think of it, remember the ethnic cleansing of the native indians and slavary.
ok soapbox is free now lol. Hi Pat ;)

[mr.chaz]

Well , the orginal thread is funny as fook! Unfortunately Yanks don't see it that way - it's the way they are "programmed" y'see.
Anyway , it is their forum , and they are entitled to be p*ssed off at you. You know how people here "go off on one" , when something unpopular is posted.
at the end of the day.......Who gives a f*ck?!

[100%Pat]

was feckin funny though.... Nice one mate :D
I somehow think they may not try spamming us again. :rolleyes:

[Mrs Reject]

Americans have no sense of humour - it is well known.
Hope yur not planning to go to their forum party any time soon Saxman :D

[Yoda]

Americans have no sense of humour - it is well known.
Hope yur not planning to go to their forum party any time soon Saxman :D

He has a personal invite probably attached to a warhead heading this way as we speak :)

Yoda

[Dougie]

So much for the"Land Of The Free",eh?

[Huw Beer Monster]

So much for the"Land Of The Free",eh?
Don't forget, they've just voted for the leader of the free world (allegedly).

[bill?]

He has a personal invite probably attached to a warhead heading this way as we speak :)

Yoda
so as Sax is in the south, and knowing the yanks aiming, us in the north are fecked then.

[krammer]

the americans are generally a pretty hospitable people, but they are simplistic, unable to debate an issue without descending into hooting and hollering. like bush said, if your not with us then your against us. i never thought i would say it but, i have to admire the frogs for their refusal to be bullied by that bunch of rabid loonies in the white house. :(

[Dougie]

You realise,and I know i posted this before,that we're probably being monitored by the CIA,NSA and whatever other agency the Shermans have got,and we're probably classed as undesirables!
The question is not 'are you paranoid',but 'are you paranoid enough'!

[bill?]

You realise,and I know i posted this before,that we're probably being monitored by the CIA,NSA and whatever other agency the Shermans have got!
so this isn't the best place to discuss the plan to blow up the new jersey bridge then.

[krammer]

You realise,and I know i posted this before,that we're probably being monitored by the CIA,NSA and whatever other agency the Shermans have got,and we're probably classed as undesirables!
The question is not 'are you paranoid',but 'are you paranoid enough'! in that case i retract every thing i just said :eek: in fact, those were not my opinions at all, but i think yoda took temporary control of this pooter and let fly with his (not mine) tirade against the wonderful and benign mr bush.

[Dougie]

Been nice knowin' ye fellas!


Nips out back and starts digging frantically hoping to have the shelter finished before it all goes tits up!

[krammer]

Been nice knowin' ye fellas!


Nips out back and starts digging frantically hoping to have the shelter finished before it all goes tits up! well im crouched under the table clutching my copy protect and survive.:p

[cxdemon]

All i can say is if they don't like what i say, tough ****! as far as i know we're still? a democracy, most Americans are pretty decent, unfortuneatly the majority let the minority rule.which means the loudmouth rednecks have the say on things, explains how the "Dubya" got in again! and if the NSA read this..........my name is yoda....... :cool:

[Yoda]

in that case i retract every thing i just said :eek: in fact, those were not my opinions at all, but i think yoda took temporary control of this pooter and let fly with his (not mine) tirade against the wonderful and benign mr bush.

Aha no i unmask myself
for i am not Yoda
you lot can call me Osama Hussein (i married saddam before they caught him) now with my new name they shall never find me...

now who is up for a bit of suicide bombing
I figured that we should start with Burtons (i never liked their clothes anyway)
Then onto Subway (as the charge too much for the sarnies)
followed by Cash converters...god these people are rip off merchants
after that i am up for anyone elses idea's

Love Osama

and if the NSA, CIA,MFI,MI5,B&Q ae reading this i am not really Osama and i dont live in small heath in birmingham (that should fool them for a while)..ohhh someones knocking on the door, gotta go
...
...
...

[Dougie]

Yoda,Yoda!You still there m8?



Waits fearfully for a reply.......... :eek:

[Yoda]

im here
...........

[saxman]

I go on that site and I copied the original text from saxmans first post, ( before anyone else did) and on the site they took it in good faith, wtf do you expect when you go in post something like that and not even introduce your self. I think this was posted just to wind people up. If thats the case then its time you got a life

so you'll be staying there then will you ? :rolleyes:

[Fran]

Maybe somebody should point out to the guys on that site that if it wasn't for the Brits they'd all be speaking French!
As things stand they're either speaking Spanish or out their arses.I noticed that they were threatening to push the button on Saxman's ass....how did he get a button on his ass......I want a button on my ass too!!! :D

[saxman]

Maybe somebody should point out to the guys on that site that if it wasn't for the Brits they'd all be speaking French!
As things stand they're either speaking Spanish or out their arses.I noticed that they were threatening to push the button on Saxman's ass....how did he get a button on his ass......I want a button on my ass too!!! :D
OI leave my ass alone :p

[acidpixie]

please leave the new joisey bridge alone, my missus has a thing for bon jovi and if the bridge is down he wont be able to get out, then she'll be unhappy.
:(
i have a penpal doing chokey in florida, he thought th UK and BLIAR were great untill i pointed out that he be sent down if he shot some scum who was nicking his automobile or robbing his house.
they have some good ideas over there.
just think, some 14year old nicks your bike they wont mind if you beat the **** out of them and drown em.

I kinda like any country like that to be honest. :rolleyes:

[Dougie]

please leave the new joisey bridge alone, my missus has a thing for bon jovi and if the bridge is down he wont be able to get out, then she'll be unhappy.
Bon Jovi stuck in Joisey?Where's that 25pdr field gun? :D

[Jonnyfp]

I think they banned us Sax.
musta been the king bush thing. :D

[Doro]

Michael Moore

he is da man




wonder how long it will be before the brakes fail on his car?

:eek:

[defarter]

It seems what started of as laugh has gone a bit tits up, even i thought it would be a bit of fun, but it's turned out insults are being traded.
I spent a good couple of hours on there site last night and the peeps on there are very laid back, into the custom theme big time and like most people here it's done on a wing and a prayer, go to work and party at the end of the day, as have a few other peeps who have taken a look at the site and said Hello they have been made to feel welcome and at home and they also have a lot of interest in the build we do over here.
I know the guy who spammed our site was out of order but at the end of the day it's all down to 2 and 3 wheels not politics.
Anyways i was made more than welcome and picked up some nice ideas. :D ;)

[Shudy]

Michael Moore

he is fat man

Agreed or is it A Greed?

[Doro]

Aw Shudy, am too blonde to work that one out :confused:


do you think he's da man or were you just taking advantage for a misquote?

:D

[Shudy]

I think he likes conspiracy theories to help him make films. He is also, like many Americans, Large.

[Dougie]

He is also, like many Americans, Large.
You ain't kiddin'!Fran and I were in Las Vegas 2 years ago,now we've said ourselves we're not exactly small,but some of the people there made us feel like skeletons!WALKING SOFAS!We also discovered we can't "eat all you can eat",the hotel had a buffet breakfast,we had a couple plates each the first morning and were stuffed.Imagine our surprise when we saw folk going back for their 4th or 5th heaped plate.I've NEVER seen owt like it!

[Bosun]

You ain't kiddin'!Fran and I were in Las Vegas 2 years ago,now we've said ourselves we're not exactly small,but some of the people there made us feel like skeletons!WALKING SOFAS!We also discovered we can't "eat all you can eat",the hotel had a buffet breakfast,we had a couple plates each the first morning and were stuffed.Imagine our surprise when we saw folk going back for their 4th or 5th heaped plate.I've NEVER seen owt like it!


i know what you mean.. nice to buy shirts as a L though
we brought 1 meal between 2

[Wolfen]

Went for brunch at the House of Blues near Myrtle Beach(I think) and was told off by waitress for only having two plates.