Alcoholism..........the curse of families...

[jimmymoonlite]

Wot fettl all you kats n kittens out there in 100% Biker cyberspace...I make no apologies for this serious thread but today has brought home the truth of my leader.
I won't bore you all with the family crisis me n the missus are going through at the moment but briefly, my younger stepson, my daughter in law (due to give birth in April) n my two grandaughters have been living with us for a bit now as they were made homeless a few weeks ago and we are battling with CHERWELL DISTRICT COUNCIL to find them a permanent address and C.D.C. are having none of it.

Well today, after hiring a hicube transit me n my lad made the trip to Worcester to get all of their stuff before the landlord put it into the street.
My daughter in law had arranged with her father to store the stuff (fcuk off big bungalow, 4 bed, two bath, large garden sorta thing plus garage and garden shed not to mention fcuk off big loft) as only having a two bed terrace house ourselves with a small loft (already quite full as you can probably imagine) we had very little space. Her dad is worth £3/4m plus property whilst me? Service injury pension and a chickensheeitt job packing boxes. He, of course, is retired.......me? I 'll probably never see it......Her twin brother (divorced, twice, own business, bit of property, nice motor, doing all right for himself sorta guy...) offered to help us shift the stuff .........
Do I sound bitter?????? FECKIN RIGHT I FEEL BITTER..............

Anyrode, we got loaded but on the way back to Banbury, we had a puncture just the Banbury side of Edge Hill and we lost an hour while we unloaded the front half of the van to get at the spare wheel riding on the over cab shelf.
We got to Banbury around 15.30 and Jools took my lad n the van to "father's house" because frankly I was knackered n the auld ticker ain't wot it was. He was pissed..........no sign of twin bro, so my pregnant daughter in law n my lad pulled furniture n boxes all over the place n lugged boxes etc into loft spaces whilst "father" staggered about, generally got in the way and moaned constantly about how "he had rushed back from the pub" and how he "was missing valuable drinking time"........not a box did he shift, not a stick did he lift..........Midway through, twin brother turns up in his fcuk off big motor.......He was also pissed and did very little but moan about the inconvenience off it all. He and "father" then proceeded to have a go at each other meanwhile. Twin brother then fcuked off again.

In consequence, the van came back to our place, still with quite a bit of their stuff still in it and at the moment we have a garage full, a hall with a corridor between boxes and more boxes going up the stairs.

Jools poor lass has strained her stomach (I did say she was pregnant did'nt I ? I'm sure I did....) she is very depressed and upset and very tearful tonight. She can't understand what she has done wrong that her "father" and her "twin" treat her like this. You see, sadly, this is not the first time she has picked up the sshheeeiittty end of the stick. We have seen this kind of attitude for over five years. Her father refuses to admit he has a drink problem (and my God, does he have a drink problem apart from being the most self centred, selfish boor on this green planet). Her twin also is a heavy drinker and we are now beginning to see why his two previous marriages ended in divorce. Jool's mum died only last Christmas ........she too was an alcoholic but she had been on the wagon for years until one day only about 2 years ago she had a drink....... Of course, according to both father and son she did'nt have a problem..............

Meanwhile, the wife and me do the best that we can for them whilst they are with us but truly it breaks my heart to see my kids and grandkids having to go through this.
And, I AM VERY, VERY ANGRY.....................

Her father is in a position to do so much for them (Freemason, "friends on the council", big house, bigger bank balance etc.etc.) but he prefers to view the world through the bottom of a glass and piss his wealth against the wall. How very sad.............

He is missing out on so much of his kids and his grandkids lives, whilst me? Hell, its tough, god knows, its tough ........but when I see the love n gratitude in them bairns eyes when they look at this tired old sod, and when I cuddle me two angelic little grandaughters (and Jools reckons a grandson in April) before their bedtime story, then I count my blessings and thank the Goddess for this treasure of riches that I call my family.

I feel I want to say more but really, I can't........

Thanks if you stayed with this to the end............

Peace, love and blessings and RESPECT...........


Jimmymoonlite aka Ever Ready - CALDARIUM MCC, Oxford

[pyro]

I'm fecking speechless, hope you get it all sorted.

[Yoda]

He is missing out on so much of his kids and his grandkids lives, whilst me? Hell, its tough, god knows, its tough ........but when I see the love n gratitude in them bairns eyes when they look at this tired old sod, and when I cuddle me two angelic little grandaughters (and Jools reckons a grandson in April) before their bedtime story, then I count my blessings and thank the Goddess for this treasure of riches that I call my

i know it sounds corny
and this is worth far more than money can ever buy

they will die lonely and friendless

Respect to ya

Yoda

[slob]

Jimmy Mate, all you can do is what's right. i've met you, you're a righteous man. In the end you judge your klife on how you lioved it, if you lived it being true to your beliefs then all the money in the world don't matter a fuck.

Is Piss head happy? Probably thinks he is but getting K-Lined evry waking moment to see you through doesn't sound very fulfilling to me .. and having an Alki for an old man I know exactly where you're coming from.

Hang in there buddy, do what you can while yer can.


all the be st- sLob

[Freak]

Couldn't have put it better then Slob and Yoda
Probably doesn't help your current situation one bit
but those two have got all the problems and you've got all the lovely family

[kitkatman]

agreed with slob and yoda on this mate, hope ( somehow) it works out

[Bassman]

you stick in there mate. Must mean a lot to them to know that someone dos care for them enough to put themselves out for them.. good on you mate..

[GreatBritishRob]

My quick answer. Any filthy cunt that cant care for kids, no matter what their self inflicted infliction wants fucking stringing up. No excuses, no bull****, hang the cunts.

[churchill]

here we go again ..rob i aint having a go at you mate but i want to have my two pennorth and its just unfortunate that you posted last ok ...

i am as what i class as a functioning alcohoic (like a bloody lot of other people on here reading between to lines )i go to work i pay my bills i have a **** life and i try to keep it all up in the air as opposed to letting it all fall around my ears ..i love the girl that i met at 17 and who after 18 months went off with her sister to work in a holiday camp and married someone else ...and who 18 years later i met up with and fell in love with all over again ..and who last night i spent hours crying my heart out over becouse she is staying with her sister becouse she dosnt want to be with me ...i love her but i cant live with her .. i have a family ..her family .. who i will probably loose ..who i love to bits (i have forgoten what this tread is about and i tryed so hard not to post how i was feeling this weekend ..but there you go )soo anyhoo all you can do is try and be yourself ..do what you think is right and try and keep it together ...this is so ironic given what i posted on here only one weekend ago ..about our little community..this looks like a good point to call it a day ..iv got a few weeks of pain to get through so if i get a bit maudlin over the next few weeks please bear with me ..and normal sarcastic service will be resumed as soon as possible

[Juke]

Alcohol is without doubt the most dangerous, addictive drug on this planet.
It makes people aggressive, ignorant, selfish, and sometimes incredibly stupid.
I have known, and do still know, some alcoholics. Some, like Churchill, keep it together most of the time. Sometimes they slip, but I just keep out of thier way when they are on a 'bender'. I like a drink like everyone else, (although I am hitting this red wine trip a bit hard) but I would like to think if it was getting to the stage where I was losing people I loved because of it, I would have to rethink my priorities. To admit you struggle with this addiction, takes guts and for that, I respect you Churchill.

As for the rich 'father'......well, as I have done with my mother, I would have to fcuk him off good an proper. Parents like that dont deserve the time of the day. To watch his pregnant daughter and her family struggle and suffer in this way, is just fcuking disgusting. He will, one day, realise that he has lost so much. His family.
As for you Jimmy, I just wish I had parents like you mate. My father, top man! Deeply missed, and so much still loved.
My mother? Piece of piss. Should have been put down at birth! Disgusting piece of shyte. Not so different from the rich twat by the sounds of it. Just without the money.

I hope things get better for your kids hun. Sounds like they deserve a break, and the Council, as always, dont give a fcuk, but will still take our taxes eh? :mad:
Respect for you mate. :D

[Violetmay]

here we go again ..rob i aint having a go at you mate but i want to have my two pennorth and its just unfortunate that you posted last ok ...

i am as what i class as a functioning alcohoic (like a bloody lot of other people on here reading between to lines )i go to work i pay my bills i have a **** life and i try to keep it all up in the air as opposed to letting it all fall around my ears ..i love the girl that i met at 17 and who after 18 months went off with her sister to work in a holiday camp and married someone else ...and who 18 years later i met up with and fell in love with all over again ..and who last night i spent hours crying my heart out over becouse she is staying with her sister becouse she dosnt want to be with me ...i love her but i cant live with her .. i have a family ..her family .. who i will probably loose ..who i love to bits (i have forgoten what this tread is about and i tryed so hard not to post how i was feeling this weekend ..but there you go )soo anyhoo all you can do is try and be yourself ..do what you think is right and try and keep it together ...this is so ironic given what i posted on here only one weekend ago ..about our little community..this looks like a good point to call it a day ..iv got a few weeks of pain to get through so if i get a bit maudlin over the next few weeks please bear with me ..and normal sarcastic service will be resumed as soon as possibleThat was really honest of you Churchill.

Life with an alcoholic is like a roller coaster.

When they are happy and things go well they are the best free fun on the planet.

When they happy at your expense, (they are the only one getting the joke they've just told about you, or wind up they've done) your patience wains.

When they are unhappy at your lack of humour or appreciation of their greatness they turn nasty.

Arguments become personal, usually the same one you had last week, with the pointy finger, or face to face blow outs. You retreat, but they follow with the pointy finger, or recoiled fist and spitty face. You hope they won't hit you, hurt you or be gone in the morning with that lass that made them a better offer and understands them.

Next day they don't remember a thing. Next night they do as they crack open the next supply of booze and remind you how horrible they think you are and by the way that lass that understands them is a phonecall or email away.

When it stops... and you get off the ride you wonder what the hell has just happened. And this person you now see, is smiling, argues like a normal person and doesn't rake up every little thing you've done that is wrong, and has no intentions of taking up with any lass that understands them. But it's scary cos each time they have just one drink you wait for the roller coaster to start again.. and when it doesn't.. the relief ...

Ref son and daughter in law... they are better off with you and your lack of space than with a man who values drink over his family... why should they stay in relative comfort with money with a man who cannot walk or talk properly cos he is pissed... I hope her dad recovers.. as he won't have many nice mates, just the one's who think he is a great bloke when he is pissed, and 'what a laugh' he is. Well the folk who find an alchoholic drunk a laugh and cannot understand the uptight mrs back home, or the uptight family judging him, don't have to live with it they only see mr entertainer, mr, 'my wife doesnt understand me, come 'ere darling nice cleavage', such a laugh.
Not. drink wrecks families and breaks hearts. It takes the person you love away and even if the drink doesn't make them cheat on you, they already have with the drink.

EDIT

I posted this as a spontanoues reaction.. and reading it.. feel should add from the sufferers point of view. Cos it ain't a bowl of cherries for them.

I don't drink am like mrs r, but could eat for england...if I am sad I need comfort food... and my punishment for that being a fat bird who can't say no to a crunchie when feeling sad.

When I crave food... I lose the control button....and can eat even if I don't want to.. and esp with my stomach problems and depression is not a good idea... but I do...

I have nothing but respect and love for someone who can give up the demon drink or drugs, when I cannot give up a dairy milk bar, knowing it will a)poison my poor tum, and b) pile on the pounds. Drink is the same, if you need one, knowing it will turn into a werewolf, and pile on pounds, and make you feel like rubbish.

Seeing someone give up ale is hard too.. they are physically and mentally fighting an addiction. They get hot, cold, shake, have mood swings, feel depressed and cannot take anything to lift the mood. They want to sit there quietly and keep being offered cups of tea or juice and asked, 'are you doing o.k there'. Most annoying.... and I am a bit of a nursey fusser.

They shut down, literally... you lose them for a while whilst they deal with demons and flash backs, they remember the fights, tears and losses and also have to deal with the reasons why they drank in the first place.

Anyone who can do that, and even just try deserves a lot of love and a medal. Anyone who succeeds deserves a big fat hug and can be justified in feelin proud. And know they have done their best to save their life, relationship and job.

So how do I feel when I want to pig out.. damn guilty that I cannot sometimes say no.... let he or she without any addiction throw the first stone at the alkie...

But going back to the original thread posted.. this drunken father is not doing his bit.. no. But when he wakes up to this and regrets it.. he'll feel the loss the biggest... he won't need anyone to tell him. So whilst he is a waster now, he is also a victim of his addiction. Everyone in his family is. But only he can decide to change his ways.

The end really...:)

[blackhack]

Well Said that woman....

looks like you've been there Mrs..

[Mrs Reject]

I don't understand alcoholism! 2 glasses of anything alcoholoc makes me feel like sh1t, what must whole bottles of it do to you if you have to drink it everyday - unimaginable! :(

[Violetmay]

I don't understand alcoholism! 2 glasses of anything alcoholoc makes me feel like sh1t, what must whole bottles of it do to you if you have to drink it everyday - unimaginable! :(
and me Lou... in my youf.. I could handle me drink better.. but 2 glasses or 2 cans and I am ruff almost immediately. Yesterday treated meself to a bottle of baileys all time fave. had two glasses.. dog had dreggs...had stomach ache and feel like ****e today...

:D

[pitbuell]

you really been through aintcha Violet ? ,,,meself, grew up with an alkey step father,,had to shovel gin bottles out the garage before I could put the car away, after roamin' the moors lookin' fer the sad 'ol sod, usually found hangin' out the car door, an' the car half way up an embankment, its how I learned to drive at the tender age of 8,,married a yank,,wonderfull lass,,'til she got into a bottle of wine,,then I became the target of all her insecurity's, 3000 miles from home, and no bugger to talk to about it all, nearly cost me my own sanity,my own experience with alcholics has taught me more pity than anger,,and I agree that alcohol is the worst drug goin' for some folk

[kitkatman]

you really been through aintcha Violet ?
she's been through a lot more than she will ever tell, don't judge a book by its cover :mad:

[bad toad]

right then vm,s comments were about me!!!! and her ex father in law!!! and yes it aint no fun having a drink problem! i,ve been there. and i,ve beaten it! :D i did it my way no help or counselling. i,ve been to hell and back doing it!! i,ve been drinking very heavily for over 10yrs had more than my share of drink related trouble!!! been arrested more times than i can remember!! but it comes a time when ya realise enoughs enough! now i can go into a pub or offy without thinking i,ll buy another 8 cans just in case i run out! already got enough in the house fer a party!!! took me 4yrs to get me trike back on the road for it! depressions a big part of drinking and vice versa! can really fuck ya head up!!! now i got meself sorted! im getting on with life a lot better!! i now sleep at night again. got an appetite back again! and generally feel much happier!!! so churchill if ya wanna chat i,ll help ya try and beat ya problem! but ya gotta do it yerself! it aint easy! its gonna fucking hurt! your gonna get a lot of physical pain!! and yer minds gonna play tricks yer gonna get paranoid! your gonna get fragile! emotions run wild!! but it all passes with time! i managed it with a lot of help with peeps off this forum!!! kept me going! when it got hard! anyways ya wanna chat pm me ya no etc!!! same goes for anybody else!!! regards toad!!!

[Juke]

Toad, you are a bloody good bloke. The drink does strange things to people, but the admittance and wanting to recover makes you a man. Respect to ya babe for sticking it out. VM loves you, thats worth more than any drink mate.
I am sure Churchill will succeed, he has friends on here who will help him thru those dark days ahead.
I can respect anyone who can be so close to the edge, and come back by thier own fee will. Well done Toad, and well done to Churchill for being so honest on a forum. That takes guts.... ;)

[Yoda]

Toad, you are a bloody good bloke. The drink does strange things to people, but the admittance and wanting to recover makes you a man. Respect to ya babe for sticking it out. VM loves you, thats worth more than any drink mate.
I am sure Churchill will succeed, he has friends on here who will help him thru those dark days ahead.
I can respect anyone who can be so close to the edge, and come back by thier own fee will. Well done Toad, and well done to Churchill for being so honest on a forum. That takes guts.... ;)

Ditto couldnt have said it better

[pitbuell]

she's been through a lot more than she will ever tell, don't judge a book by its cover :mad:

It wasn't a judgement KitKat,,just an observation based on personal experience

[Violetmay]

It wasn't a judgement KitKat,,just an observation based on personal experience
That is what I took it as but appreciate keeefs defending of my honour. Who needs knights in shiny armour when you got kkm?

and in reply to pitbuell's question/statement.. it has been a funny weird few years watching the bloke I love struggle with the old grog... but as Ju said I love him and knew he'd do it. He's not one for counsellors or doctors, he does it his way, and it worked for him. You lot on here were his salvation cos you kept him sane and let him rant. I did my bit by being supportive and knowing how to work a kettle and give him some time and space. It wasn't my place to nag or remind him how bad he was drunk, but it was my place to tell how much I hurt, and was scared, and didn't want to lose him to drink and the persuit of fun times in the name of drink. I know he appreciates my support and things are much rosier now.

That is why the last party photo's upset me, no I wasn't there, and yes he was drunk, very, but he was also draped all over someone, and I didn't know what drink had lead them to, and there was also some very drunken video footage that really left some questions unanswered. Your mind does go into over drive. When someone has told you long enough that they have found women who understand them (whilst drunk I hasten to add) you just wonder if that woman is at that party being understanding whilst he is being drunk. But I have very good reason, and KKM/Mel know what I mean. I also knew that drink gives him black outs, and he could have done anything, and not remembered, and no one would have told me either, so it would have been the party secret.

Whilst it may amuse some people on here to think I am paranoid and possessive about my fella, when you live with someone who blacks out every week, and has told you there is a world of partying and women waiting anything is possible. It's not a trust issue, when he is sober I trust him. It is the demon drink I don't trust, and that is with both him and anyone 'understanding' left to their devices, let's just say it's not just men who take advantage of someone being drunk. So no not paranoid, just know the score when drinks about.

[kitkatman]

churchill, i have faced these demons and somehow got through the rough times and i am sure you will buddy, we are here for you...........v.m and toad, i love the pair of you and yes you have been through hell, but you have pulled it through and with that i cannot show enough respect, your good people.............

[Violetmay]

churchill, i have faced these demons and somehow got through the rough times and i am sure you will buddy, we are here for you...........v.m and toad, i love the pair of you and yes you have been through hell, but you have pulled it through and with that i cannot show enough respect, your good people.............

Churchill will be fine... the hardest bit was being honest about it.. and that done he knows we'll be here to hold his oily covered hands!!!

And kkm ta.. you two been good mates.x

[PILRCGeff]

To get this back on track. Jimmymoonlight, Im sure there are folks on here who live near enough to you to give you a hand next time you need some humping and dumping!

Give me a bit of notice and I will try to get there to help.

On a lighter note my ex-wife was a real bitch when she had been drinking. Problem was she was just the same when she sobered up!

[Violetmay]

To get this back on track. (sorry if it detracted but it was relevant to drink Geff)Jimmymoonlight, Im sure there are folks on here who live near enough to you to give you a hand next time you need some humping and dumping! And also pos can help with the housing just pm me...(am in housing so rehouse peeps all the time)

Give me a bit of notice and I will try to get there to help.

On a lighter note my ex-wife was a real bitch when she had been drinking. Problem was she was just the same when she sobered up! Ah not so good Geff...

[Bassman]

That is why the last party photo's upset me, no I wasn't there, and yes he was drunk, very, but he was also draped all over someone, and I didn't know what drink had lead them to


Oi Mrs.... he was draped all over me..

What are you saying like!! :eek:

hes really not my type VM!! :D

[Violetmay]

Oi Mrs.... he was draped all over me..

What are you saying like!! :eek:

hes really not my type VM!! :D
lol.... male draping is fine.:D