blackhack
03-11-2004, 09:35 AM
AT 00.54 ON SATURDAY 3 NOVEMBER 2004 A MAJOR EARTHQUAKE HIT MEASURING 4.8
ON THE RICHTER SCALE EPICENTERED ON GLASGOW.
Victims can be seen wandering aimlessly muttering: "Ah wiz ****tin'
masel", "Ah need some jellies" "Ah need a fag and a Cally Spesh".
The Earthquake decimated the area, causing approximately £20 worth of
damage, with the exception of the Possil area, where approx. £375,000
of improvements were made.
Untold disruption and distress was caused:
Many were woken by the noise well before their giro arrived
Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and
Spanish Costas were damaged
Three areas of historic and scientifically significant litter were
disturbed
The cone fell off the head of the statue of the Duke of Wellington
outside the Gallery of Modern Art onto his horse, Copenhagen. It
managed to remain on the horse's head, albeit at a jaunty angle
Thousands are confused and bewildered, trying to come to terms with the
fact that something interesting has happened in Glasgow
One resident, Chantelle McGregor, a 17 year old mother-of-three from
possil, said
"It was such a shock, little Chelsea came running into my bedroom
crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Shania slept through it. I
was still shaking when I was watching Trisha the next morning."
Buckfast Tonic Wine needs to be sent to the area to help the stricken masses.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found
large quantities of personal belongings including benefit books and
jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos.
HOW YOU CAN HELP
Clothing is most sought after.
Items required include: - * Sovvy rings * burberry Baseball caps * Shell suits *Tesco two stripe trainers * White socks * Chunky gold chains
Food parcels may be harder to put together but are necessary all the
same. Required foodstuffs include: -
* Frozen burgers * Buckfast * Kebabs * Deep fried Mars Bars *
* Golden
Wonder crisps (Cheese and Onion, Salt and Vinegar, and Prawn Cocktail preferred)*
Black Pudding * Buckfast * Fray Bentos Pies * Old English Cider * Buckfast *
Lard * Ready-cut Potato Chips * Lard * Buckfast* lots of rizla's*
REMEMBER Your donation goes a long way
£2 buys pies, chips, and "ginger" -- preferably Dunn's or Alpine "Iron brew"" -- for a family of four
£10 can take a family to Ruchill Park for the day, where children can sniff glue and spike up among the national collection of stinging
nettles.
22p buys a biro for filling in spurious compensation claims or
signing on at the baroo.
£1.95 buys an "All Day" bus ticket to enable disaster victims to travel
between the Social, the Posty, the Offy, McDonalds, the bookies,
and Kingsway or Sighthill flats for the refugees garden party.
Please send your credit card number and a sample signature.
to me and I'll look after the money for it
PLEASE GIVE GENEROUSLLY
THIS APPEAL IS MADE ON BEHALF OF THE GLASGOW EARTHQUAKE VICTIMS FUND BY
THE SCOTTISH EXECUTIVE AND CITY OF GLASGOW COUNCIL
ON THE RICHTER SCALE EPICENTERED ON GLASGOW.
Victims can be seen wandering aimlessly muttering: "Ah wiz ****tin'
masel", "Ah need some jellies" "Ah need a fag and a Cally Spesh".
The Earthquake decimated the area, causing approximately £20 worth of
damage, with the exception of the Possil area, where approx. £375,000
of improvements were made.
Untold disruption and distress was caused:
Many were woken by the noise well before their giro arrived
Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and
Spanish Costas were damaged
Three areas of historic and scientifically significant litter were
disturbed
The cone fell off the head of the statue of the Duke of Wellington
outside the Gallery of Modern Art onto his horse, Copenhagen. It
managed to remain on the horse's head, albeit at a jaunty angle
Thousands are confused and bewildered, trying to come to terms with the
fact that something interesting has happened in Glasgow
One resident, Chantelle McGregor, a 17 year old mother-of-three from
possil, said
"It was such a shock, little Chelsea came running into my bedroom
crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Shania slept through it. I
was still shaking when I was watching Trisha the next morning."
Buckfast Tonic Wine needs to be sent to the area to help the stricken masses.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found
large quantities of personal belongings including benefit books and
jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos.
HOW YOU CAN HELP
Clothing is most sought after.
Items required include: - * Sovvy rings * burberry Baseball caps * Shell suits *Tesco two stripe trainers * White socks * Chunky gold chains
Food parcels may be harder to put together but are necessary all the
same. Required foodstuffs include: -
* Frozen burgers * Buckfast * Kebabs * Deep fried Mars Bars *
* Golden
Wonder crisps (Cheese and Onion, Salt and Vinegar, and Prawn Cocktail preferred)*
Black Pudding * Buckfast * Fray Bentos Pies * Old English Cider * Buckfast *
Lard * Ready-cut Potato Chips * Lard * Buckfast* lots of rizla's*
REMEMBER Your donation goes a long way
£2 buys pies, chips, and "ginger" -- preferably Dunn's or Alpine "Iron brew"" -- for a family of four
£10 can take a family to Ruchill Park for the day, where children can sniff glue and spike up among the national collection of stinging
nettles.
22p buys a biro for filling in spurious compensation claims or
signing on at the baroo.
£1.95 buys an "All Day" bus ticket to enable disaster victims to travel
between the Social, the Posty, the Offy, McDonalds, the bookies,
and Kingsway or Sighthill flats for the refugees garden party.
Please send your credit card number and a sample signature.
to me and I'll look after the money for it
PLEASE GIVE GENEROUSLLY
THIS APPEAL IS MADE ON BEHALF OF THE GLASGOW EARTHQUAKE VICTIMS FUND BY
THE SCOTTISH EXECUTIVE AND CITY OF GLASGOW COUNCIL