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View Full Version : joke of the day,,,,


Bassman
05-08-2006, 02:21 PM
Many of us unfortunately were born after our own Grandpas had passed on and never had the opportunity to enjoy moments like this. I hope this will again confirm that the most important information in your life won't come from a teacher, the library or the Internet. It comes from a mentor and always on a very personal level.

My long-passed grandfather's birthday is coming up and for me it is a time
to reminisce. We used to take long walks and drives together. He would make special trips to pick me up so I could spend weekends with him.

I was young when he died. If he were living today and sharing his pearls of
wisdom, I'd be a better man. The one I remember best came from him when I was only 12.

We were sitting in a park, watching children with their mothers enjoying a
beautiful spring day. He told me that one day, I'd find a woman and start my
own family.

Then came the jewel in the crown of grandfatherly advice when he
said, "And be sure you marry a woman with small hands."

"Why should I do that, Grandpa?" I asked.

"It makes your pecker look bigger."

It kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

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A biker scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive woman standing alone. He approached her and asked her name.

"My name is Carmen," she told him.

"That's beautiful," he said. "Is it a family name?"

"No," she replied, "I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most - cars and men. What's your name?" she asked.

"Beertits," he replied.

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harpo
05-08-2006, 03:47 PM
For his birthday, little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house
is £280,000 & your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."

The next day the father saw little Patrick heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?" Little
Patrick told him, "I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling Mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And, I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a £280,000 mortgage & no bike!"