View Full Version : Did you know?
ForestFred
05-10-2004, 06:10 PM
81 sleeps to go
81 sleeps til santa
81 sleeps til the big fat feller
comes down your chimney
and leaves you presents
and drinks your beer
81 sleeps til santa.
Of course this will only happen if we ensure that Odie does not get hold of him again until the new year :D
Rabid
05-10-2004, 06:15 PM
Now you've got me all excited i'm not going to be able to sleep. And i haven't even got the sprouts on yet what am i going to do now?
Bosun
05-10-2004, 06:17 PM
better start writting a wish list ..
honest been a good boy this year i have ;)
Sod Christmas.
It started out as a midwinter festival which got hijacked by christians so we could celebrate the birth of some mythical bloke who was born in the spring and now has been hijacked by capitalist commercial big businesses who actively use our children to make us feel guilty enough to buy their poxy products that we wouldnt normally touch with a very long bargepole.
Bah Humbug.
TaxiDave
05-10-2004, 06:33 PM
Can I have a scalextric?
BlackPig
05-10-2004, 06:37 PM
Sod Christmas.
It started out as a midwinter festival which got hijacked by christians so we could celebrate the birth of some mythical bloke who was born in the spring and now has been hijacked by capitalist commercial big businesses who actively use our children to make us feel guilty enough to buy their poxy products that we wouldnt normally touch with a very long bargepole.
Bah Humbug.
Well said that man. :D
Not 100% exact but close enough . :rolleyes:
I F%%*in' hate Xmas and all the BOLLOCKS that goes with it :D
TaxiDave
05-10-2004, 06:38 PM
Well said that man. :D
Not 100% exact but close enough . :rolleyes:
I F%%*in' hate Xmas and all the BOLLOCKS that goes with it :D
Just because you can't have a scalextric.
I have got a scalextric which i purchased for the princely sum of £1.50 from a car boot sale some years ago. It is still complete and in its box. it only comes out when there are NO children around to spoil my enjoyment of my little racing car game.
Bollocks to 'em.
GarrysPhrogg
05-10-2004, 06:47 PM
I have got a scalextric which i purchased for the princely sum of £1.50 from a car boot sale some years ago. It is still complete and in its box. it only comes out when there are NO children around to spoil my enjoyment of my little racing car game.
Bollocks to 'em.
ROFL ROFL :)
Freak
05-10-2004, 06:47 PM
I too have knocked christmass on the head. All that religious mumbo jumbo, never solved anything. I have gone back to me rural roots and celebrate mother nature and december 22nd. Thats when I put up all me decorations turn on me pretty lights and have a big feast. Why? cause after the 22nd the nights get shorter and the days get longer. YIPEEEE :D :D :D
Dear Santa please can i have :-
1. A Llama
2. A rocket launcher (to keep Forest Fred away from my livestock)
3. A Rocket 3
4. A lifetimes supply of Stella
5. All Kylie Minogues used underwear !
6. A better designed body (one that can consume Stella and loads of curry without sagging at the front !)
I haven't been very good this year but then whats new ?
Otter
05-10-2004, 07:23 PM
Includes one view of the origins of xmyth
http://www.e-sheep.com/Saturnalia/
Kingo
05-10-2004, 07:42 PM
No bugger can come down our chimney!!!!
We hav'nt got one Ha! Ha! :D
ForestFred
05-10-2004, 07:48 PM
No bugger can come down our chimney!!!!
We hav'nt got one Ha! Ha! :DOh ye of little faith He's got a magic key y'know :D
Mrs Reject
05-10-2004, 08:08 PM
Includes one view of the origins of xmyth
http://www.e-sheep.com/Saturnalia/
Ahahahahahahahafuckin' hahahaha!!!!!
Good one, nice to see folks on this forum love the old Gods:D Anyway no fat pervert in a red dress is going to come down my chimney on Christmas Eve (f'nurk) Mitch will be waiting with a baseball bat :)
I'm still having sprouts tho' yum yum!
cxdemon
05-10-2004, 08:58 PM
Theyv'e started preparing to put the christmas lights and decorations up in plymouth already GRRRRR :mad:
smeghead
05-10-2004, 09:26 PM
damn blast i've just got that fookin song out of my head from last year and forest fred goes and puts it back there grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
still only another 81 days to worship at the alter of the great asda
well i just want to finf a GL1500 engine for christmas...god they are like rocking horse ****
Yoda
ForestFred
05-10-2004, 09:37 PM
Includes one view of the origins of xmyth
http://www.e-sheep.com/Saturnalia/Very Good.Blimey I didnt relize I would send most people running fer their shotguns coz I mentioned Kris Kringle :D
TaxiDave
05-10-2004, 09:47 PM
5. All Kylie Minogues used underwear !
How dare you use Kylie's name in vain. I have first claim to all of her used underwear. Especially the ones that she's worn on a long haul flight, when she's been sitting for hours, and hours, and hou ..............................
.................................... Where's me kleenex???????
How dare you use Kylie's name in vain. I have first claim to all of her used underwear. Especially the ones that she's worn on a long haul flight, when she's been sitting for hours, and hours, and hou ..............................
.................................... Where's me kleenex???????
did you have to
now wipe this screen at once
rommel
05-10-2004, 11:08 PM
Sod Christmas.
It started out as a midwinter festival which got hijacked by christians so we could celebrate the birth of some mythical bloke who was born in the spring and now has been hijacked by capitalist commercial big businesses who actively use our children to make us feel guilty enough to buy their poxy products that we wouldnt normally touch with a very long bargepole.
Bah Humbug.
I am a christian!!!!! double bah humbug
Friar Tuck
06-10-2004, 06:10 AM
Dear Santa,
Can I have your Valkyrie for Christmas?
Shudy
06-10-2004, 06:31 AM
I like Christmas, it is the only time us shepherds get a positive mention.
While Shepherds washed their flocks by night
All seated on the ground
The angel of the lord came down
and handed kebabs around.
bill?
06-10-2004, 11:17 AM
I like Christmas, it is the only time us shepherds get a positive mention.
its the only time of the year the sheep like a (very) close friend.
ooops missed a bracket
Very Good.Blimey I didnt relize I would send most people running fer their shotguns coz I mentioned Kris Kringle :D
Kris Kringle....didn't he star in CONVOY - Rubber Duck
Santa
06-10-2004, 11:45 AM
I have read all your posts with interest and have only one thing to say. BOLLOCKS! No-one's getting anything this year because I just can't be arsed.Have you ever tried assembling and harnessing a bunch of surly obstinate reindeer in freezing cold weather and then seriously overloading a small sleigh with bag after bag of (generally) unwanted presents?It's not fun, I hate mince pies(even deep fried battered ones), sherry makes me puke and it takes forever to wash the soot out of my clothes afterwards. If Odie leaves a spliff out I MIGHT visit his house, but everyone else can just sod off! :D
Oiiii SANTA,,,,NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
You must deliver pressies to all the kiddies and bikers alike
if you dont i wont be responsible for my behaviour......
now get your elves working double time
and we dont want no crappy woodedn stuff...we want high tech ...and YOU MUST include the batteries this year
Love Yoda
Santa
07-10-2004, 08:57 PM
Sorry, no dice. I put it to the elves that they should work double time - they've all gone out on strike! Wood's the only substance that doesn't just fracture due to the cold when you work it. Don't seem to have any batteries left. The Mrs. keeps disappearing into the bedroom with them, I've got no idea what she does with them but it must be hard work judging by the noises she makes! :confused: . So if I were you I'd start looking forward to easter - mind you the elves are good friends with the easter bunny so there might not be much joy there either :( .
poridge wog
07-10-2004, 09:01 PM
how does good king wenseslass like his pizza
deep pan crisp an even
sorry, i'll get me coat :D
ForestFred
07-10-2004, 11:55 PM
Ha you cant fool me Santa there aint no Easter Bunny. I know coz I ate the fcker fer me tea :D
Friar Tuck
08-10-2004, 04:10 AM
I have read all your posts with interest and have only one thing to say. BOLLOCKS! No-one's getting anything this year because I just can't be arsed.Have you ever tried assembling and harnessing a bunch of surly obstinate reindeer in freezing cold weather and then seriously overloading a small sleigh with bag after bag of (generally) unwanted presents?It's not fun, I hate mince pies(even deep fried battered ones), sherry makes me puke and it takes forever to wash the soot out of my clothes afterwards. If Odie leaves a spliff out I MIGHT visit his house, but everyone else can just sod off! :D
That's alright, I'll come and collect the Valkyrie then?
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