Joke

[Rabid]

A couple attending an art exhibition at the National Gallery were staring at a portrait that had them totally confused. The painting depicted three black men totally naked, sitting on a park bench. Two of the men had black penises, but the one seated in the middle, had a pink penis.
The curator of the gallery realized the confused couple were having trouble with interpreting the painting and offered his assessment. He went on and on for nearly half an hour explaining how it depicted the
sexual emasculation of African-Americans in a predominantly white, patriarchal society. "In fact", he pointed out, "some serious critics believe that the pink penis reflects the cultural and sociological
oppression expressed by gay men in a contemporary society".
After the curator left, a Scotsman man approached the couple and said, "Would you like to know what the painting is really about?"
"Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the Gallery?" asked the couple.
"Because I'm the guy who painted it," he replied. "In fact, there is no African-American representation at all. They're just three Scottish coal-miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch." :eek:

[Rabid]

The Englishman's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear.
"Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any knickers?" her husband demanded.
"Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any."
The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency, here's £50. Go and buy yourself some underwear."

Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she is wearing no undies.
"Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no knickers. Why not?"
She replies, "I can't afford any on the money you give me."
He reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency, here's £20.
Go and buy yourself some underwear!"

Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it.
"Sweet mudder of Jesus, Aggie! Where the frig are yer drawers?"
She too explains, "You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta affarrd any."
The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, "Well, fer the love 'o Jasus, 'n the sake of decency, here's a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit."

[Rabid]

A man dressed in shorts and long socks staggers into a hospital emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped very tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asked the poor chap what had happened. "Well, it was like this," said the man, wincing with pain. "I was enjoying a quiet round of golf with my beloved wife, when she sliced her ball into a neighboring pasture full of cows. We went over into the field to try to find it and while I was searching around, I noticed one of the cows had something white and round wedged fair between its buttocks. I walked over and lifted up the cow's tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball - stuck right between the cheeks, right in the middle of its bum hole. That's when I made my mistake." "What on Earth did you do?" asked the doctor, intrigued by what he was hearing. "Well, I proceeded to lift up the cow's tail and then I yelled loudly to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'"

[Bosun]

sorry this is dread full... he says getting coat before you lot read it... :)


Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming
around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian. The
prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that

patrolled the area.

Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm bored and frustrated at

being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have any worries about

being eaten..."

As Justin had his mind firmly on becoming a predator, a mysterious cod

appears and says, "Your wish is granted", and lo and behold, Justin turned

into a shark.

Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his

old mate.

Time went on (as it invariably does...) and Justin found himself becoming

bored and lonely as a shark. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he

came close to them. Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance

was the cause of his sad plight.

While out swimming alone one day he sees the mysterious cod again and can't

believe his luck. Justin figured that the fish could change him back into a

prawn. He begs the cod to change him back so, lo and behold, he is turned

back into a prawn.

With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swam back to his friends

and bought them all a cocktail. (The punch line does not involve a prawn

cocktail - it's much worse).

Looking around the gathering at the reef, he searched for his old pal.

"Where's Christian?" he asked. "He's at home,distraught that his best

friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark", came the reply.

Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set

off to Christian's house. As he opened the coral gate the memories came

flooding back.

He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come

out and see me again. Christian replied "No way man, you'll eat me. You're

a shark, the enemy and I'll not be tricked.

" Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've

changed"...(wait for it) . . .

...."I've found Cod, I'm a prawn again christian

[BlackPig]

Fayji, people have been shot for less !! :eek:

[Gypsy]

you gotta be kidding me ... i read all that , for THAT punchline :eek: :D

[Bosun]

Fayji, people have been shot for less !! :eek:


i did warn you :D :)