Arry's Bar

[Arry the Bar Steward]

Being as I'm your new Bar Steward, what are you drinking? Hic!

[BikerGran]

Pint please mate!


Pint of red wine that is...


Avery good start if I may say so!

[Womble_Lancs]

Being as I'm your new Bar Steward, what are you drinking? Hic!

Ooooh, a pint of Baileys, Tia Maria and Vodka, please. Or a pint of Old Peculier. Not fussed really, so long as it's alcoholic and doesn't taste of either peach or cherry.

[Sig V]

Ooh, hello big boy (inside info on that one, lol)

Welcome.. could I have a nice glass of daiquiri pour moi.

Oh, and nice to meet you, 'Arry :D

[Arry the Bar Steward]

there you are, with a cherry and an umbrella on the house!

[Fran]

Can I have a pint of blastaway please? Welcome Mr Barsteward! :D

[Arry the Bar Steward]

evening all... amazing how quickly a new bar fills up? don't worry tho - you'll all get served.


Eventually!

[bad toad]

better get more staff toads in the bar!!!! a bottle o woods rum fer me chaser please!!!! :D

[Grav]

Bottle of Lagavulin ta.

[Arry the Bar Steward]

whisky a speciality - tho' I prefer the Irish meself

and a bottle of grog for The Toad!

meanwhile - I've got to go and change a barrel........help yourselves while I'm away....

[Grav]

* runs off with the till.....*

Well he did say help yourself. :D

[baldyshinehead]

welcome, mines a cider please mate :D

[Arry the Bar Steward]

ha ha!! - the till you will find is empty -
Iv'e already stashed the dosh with me cosh :D

[Arry the Bar Steward]

here's your cider, sir

do you want to see a bar trick?

[baldyshinehead]

here's your cider, sir

do you want to see a bar trick?

thanking you, yes why not, allways up for a trick in a bar :eek:

[Arry the Bar Steward]

OK.....

ready?...............


here we go...........


..............



....................



............................




ta da
Thankyouverymush

[baldyshinehead]

sorry, seen that 1 before :D

[bad toad]

some barsteward his gone to bed feckin lightweight!!! :D

[baldyshinehead]

:D they turn into pumpkins if up after 11 :D

[Spike]

* runs off with the till.....*

Well he did say help yourself. :D


Bloody scousers :p

[Grav]

One has a certain reputation to uphold. :D

[Spike]

One has a certain reputation to uphold. :D

Unlike the law :D

Hiya Barstward :p

[Friar Tuck]

Where's everyone gone?

Oh well, I'll help meself to a pint of Merrydown then!

welcome 'Arry, Know wot I mean, 'Arry! Hur, Hur, Hur!

Where the Juke box then?

Any one for a game of Pool?

[baldyshinehead]

well thats a shock, someone still in here :eek:

[Arry the Bar Steward]

that's the barrel changed (note to self - must get the light fixed in the cellar) - now who's first for a drink tonight?

[kitkatman]

bucket of duvel please.......with a cherry please, welcome bar type chappie :D

[Arry the Bar Steward]

there you are sir.

Fresh out of cherries I'm afraid, so I've taken the liberty of inserting a banana.

Alright? :)

[Sig V]

there you are sir.

Fresh out of cherries I'm afraid, so I've taken the liberty of inserting a banana.

Alright? :)


I'm not sure that's proper hygiene, like. :eek:

[Arry the Bar Steward]

I'm not sure that's proper hygiene, like. :eek:


that depends on how you insert it :eek:

[Arry the Bar Steward]

or would sir prefer a pineapple?

[scouselee]

Good Afternoon Arry

any chance of a Guinness please matey :D

[Mia Wallace]

Afternnon....

G&T please...... large if you dont mind :D

[Arry the Bar Steward]

no problem at all sir.............


coming right up..........


takes a while to pour of course...........



and as I'm fresh outta cherries, I've taken the liberty of putting a potato on top....

cheers :)

[Arry the Bar Steward]

.........and a large G&T for you Ms Wallace :)

I hope you don't think me too forward, but do you come in here often?

[Sig V]

I'm Gaggin' - Can I have a Pimms please. :D No potato. No Pineapple. Defo no Banana. :eek:

[Arry the Bar Steward]

A Pimms? Certainly.

And of course, with a cucumber inserted.

Enjoy :D

[Sig V]

A Pimms? Certainly.

And of course, with a cucumber inserted.

Enjoy :D

I think you may need to use your chopper for the cucumber. A girl like me can't be expected to handle a whole one ...inserted in her drink, ovsbeeusly, hic. :D

[Dougie]

bucket of duvel please.......with a cherry please, welcome bar type chappie :D
You feckin' philistine!

Hey 'Arry,got any Rammstein on the jukebox?You HAVE a jukebox I trust?

[Grav]

I'll have every one of yer single malts please, one after an other. :D

[Arry the Bar Steward]

Hey 'Arry,got any Rammstein on the jukebox?You HAVE a jukebox I trust?

course I have - it's over there in the corner behind the pillar - you should find a wide range of music to suit all tastes - or as many as I can think of - now if memory serves, Rammstein are from East Berlin? mmmmmmm try


http://www.mtv.com/music/#/music/artist/rammstein/videos.jhtml

and for you Grav, a bucket'o'malt - will you be 'aving creme anglais with that? I 'ave 'eard you are the Dark Lord of Custard......

[Grav]

and for you Grav, a bucket'o'malt - will you be 'aving creme anglais with that? I 'ave 'eard you are the Dark Lord of Custard......
yeah thangyewvermuch

[seedless]

Pint of Stella for me my good man....

[Dougie]

course I have - it's over there in the corner behind the pillar - you should find a wide range of music to suit all tastes - or as many as I can think of - now if memory serves, Rammstein are from East Berlin? mmmmmmm try


http://www.mtv.com/music/#/music/artist/rammstein/videos.jhtml

and for you Grav, a bucket'o'malt - will you be 'aving creme anglais with that? I 'ave 'eard you are the Dark Lord of Custard......
Not so much East Berlin,but what was the DDR.They had to apply for a permit to play.How they wangled THAT one.......... :eek:

[scouselee]

Orite Arry, any chance of another guinness please buddy, can you stick another spud on top but this time chipped please :D

[Arry the Bar Steward]

Alrite, Darlin, Arry's just changing the barrel so I'll serve you love. Me name's Racquel and I'm 'Arry's barmaid. I 'elp out from time to time when 'e 'as 'is 'ands full.

Pint o Guinness comin up sir, and I'll fetch you those chips for you to dunk. ;)

[scouselee]

Alrite, Darlin, Arry's just changing the barrel so I'll serve you love. Me name's Racquel and I'm 'Arry's barmaid. I 'elp out from time to time when 'e 'as 'is 'ands full.

Pint o Guinness comin up sir, and I'll fetch you those chips for you to dunk. ;)

well thank you indeed Racquel, anyone else wanna chip :D

[Dougie]

Vinegar???

[scouselee]

Vinegar???

nah Guinness :eek:

[Dougie]

On the chips not in yer pint! :rolleyes:

[scouselee]

................. :D :D

[Arry the Bar Steward]

Salt and Vinegar's at the end of the bar over there. That's it me 'darlins - next to the complimentary peanuts....but wash yer mits first ;) (giggle, giggle)

I'm sure 'Arry'll be back in a minute, dunno what 'e does in that cellar of 'is all the time. (giggle.)

[Arry the Bar Steward]

Pint of Stella for me my good man....

I come back from the deep dark cellar to find that my lovely assistant Racquel has failed to serve my good friend Seedless his pint o'Stella - sorry for the wait mate, here have a couple on the 'ouse.. :)

anyway, can you tell me why I have so many visitors to my bar and yet so few of seem to want a drink? Wots the matter? My beer not good enough for em? Are they shy? Mute? Tee total? Pah.

Never seen it so quiet in here on a Friday night :confused:

[Dougie]

IF yer offering,I'll start with a Duvel please 'Arry.

[Bosun]

a pint of entire stout please

[baldyshinehead]

evenin Arry and the rest of ya :D

get us a lager please mate and have one yasell

[Arry the Bar Steward]

that's better - evening to y'all - so a Duvel for Dougie , a lager for Baldyshine head and a stout for Fayji.

say, isn't that a leather bladder buddy on your back their Fayji - tell me - did you go for the optional rhinestones with it?

[Bosun]

that's better - evening to y'all - so a Duvel for Dougie , a lager for Baldyshine head and a stout for Fayji.

say, isn't that a leather bladder buddy on your back their Fayji - tell me - did you go for the optional rhinestones with it?


it would have been rude not too

[Dougie]

Cheers 'Arry.

[baldyshinehead]

ta Arry :D

[karent]

eh Arry? did you used to be part of the Sham army? dedicated follower myself, k

[Arry the Bar Steward]

eh Arry? did you used to be part of the Sham army? dedicated follower myself, k

course I was - who d'you think they wrote that song abaaat?

anyway - what you 'aving?

[baldyshinehead]

get us another lager mate,
and i think you need to check the bogs, someones had a one too many :eek:

[Dougie]

Clean up in aisle 3! :D
You got a Worthington's White Shield Arry?

[Arry the Bar Steward]

get us another lager mate,
and i think you need to check the bogs, someones had a one too many :eek:


here's your lager - and the smell from the bogs? - that'll be Fayji playing with his bladder buddy

[scouselee]

hey arry is Racquel still about she pulls a crackin pint, can you get her to pull us another please buddy, no chips this time, I gotta watch my weight :)

[Arry the Bar Steward]

You got a Worthington's White Shield Arry?

Here you are and while I think about it.....what's brown and sounds like a bell?

[Arry the Bar Steward]

hey arry is Racquel still about she pulls a crackin pint, can you get her to pull us another please buddy, no chips this time, I gotta watch my weight :)


Alrite, Luvvy, Raquel here. Sorry me darlin' he's had me cleanin' up that blumin' mess in the gents. Someone's poured piddle everywhere. Some poor geezer's even got a suit carrier covered in it in there.

Right, luvvy, nuther Guinness is it? Be my pleasure, comin right up me dear.

[kitkatman]

there you are sir.

Fresh out of cherries I'm afraid, so I've taken the liberty of inserting a banana.

Alright? :)
can i have a whole pineapple instead.......in the drink though please :D

[Arry the Bar Steward]

strikes me a bit odd - putting a whoile pineapple in a Duvel - still whatever lights your candle. :)

'ere - you haven't been carrying on with them jezabels in the thread next door 'ave you? you wanna be careful - you never know where that thread might lead...

[Arry the Bar Steward]

last orders at the bar please - its Friday nite and I'm on a promise with that Racquel :D :D ........thanks for coming into my bar - help yourself while I'm away (I've already emptied the till) and I'll see y'all tomorrow

[karent]

very entertaining mate, ill have a pipe of homegrown and a packet of chipsticks......still love my ole eyeliner and docks.... ;)

[Friar Tuck]

Bloody typical! No bugger here again! Lightweights!

I'll just have to help meself to a cider then!

[kitkatman]

last orders at the bar please - its Friday nite and I'm on a promise with that Racquel :D ........thanks for coming into my bar - help yourself while I'm away (I've already emptied the till) and I'll see y'all tomorrow
LAST FUCKIN ORDERS........ :mad:

i have just got up to have my breakfast with you and your bloody shut........

get a 24hr licence landlord ffs :D :D

[Dougie]

get a 24hr licence landlord ffs :D :D
He has,but it's not 24 hrs in a row......... :p

[Arry the Bar Steward]

There's a bottle of Wood's Rum for Bad Toad when your'e ready :)

[Bosun]

He has,but it's not 24 hrs in a row......... :p
most excellent :)

[scouselee]

evenin Arry.........Pint of guinness please my good man, I'll just finish this pint while I patiently wait :)

[Arry the Bar Steward]

Good evening Fayji and Scouslee - thanks for dropping by - a pint of Guinness for each of you and I'll leave a birthday drink on the bar for Dorro - CHEERS :D

[scouselee]

ay Arry, me mates just told me this joke, what ya reckon,

Colin was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone
there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Colin, how
about Tom Cruise?"

"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Colin
and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and
sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, "Colin! Great to see you! You and your
friend come right in and join me for lunch!"
Although impressed, Colin's boss is still sceptical. After they leave
Cruise's house, he tells Colin that he thinks Colin's knowing Cruise
was just lucky.

"No, no, just name! anyone else," Colin says. "President Bush," his boss
quickly retorts. "Yes," Colin says, "I know him, let's fly out to
Washington." And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Colin on the tour and motions
him and his boss over, saying, "Colin, what a surprise, I was just on my way
to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup
of coffee first and catch up."

Well, the boss is very shaken by now,
but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House
grounds he expresses his doubts to Colin, who again implores him to name
anyone else.


"The Pope," his boss replies. "Sure!" says Colin. "My folks are from
Germany, and I've known the Pope a long time.
" So off they fly to Rome. Colin and his boss are assembled
with the masses in Vatican Square when Colin says,
"This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's
eye among all these people.Tell you what, I know all the guards, so let
me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." And he disappears into the
crowd headed toward the Vatican.


Sure enough, half an hour later Colin emerges with the Pope on the
balcony but by the time Colin returns, he finds that his boss has had a
heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss'
side, Colin asks him, "What happened?" His boss looks up and says, "I
was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony, and the
man next to me said, "Who the f**k's that on the balcony with Colin?"

[Arry the Bar Steward]

ah - a shaggy Colin story - 10 out of 10 for effort - but I'm not sure the punchline was worth the wait - still have another Guinness :)

how about 'what's brown and sounds like a bell?'

[Bosun]

DUNG

whats brown and comes steaming out of cows backqwards :)

[Arry the Bar Steward]

would that be the Isle of Wight Ferry?

I suppose you know what's brown and sticky then?

[Bosun]

a stick

can i join the bars quiz team :)

[Sig V]

Evening' Arry - Do I get a free drink for my cow joke, Arry?

There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm." The other cow replies, "Hell, I ain't worried, it don't affect us ducks."

[ernie the dwarf]

I hope not,get yer coat..... :p :D

[Sig V]

Oi Arry, down here. Whatever Fran and Violetmay want - my shout :)

[Arry the Bar Steward]

Oi Arry, down here. Whatever Fran and Violetmay want - my shout :)


very good m'dear - drinks for the girls and thanks for the cow joke - very good - now mooving along - who's next?

[ernie the dwarf]

Go on then i'll have a lager please,

and here's a very poor joke.


How do you get a poof to fuck a woman,fill her cnut with **** :eek:

[scouselee]

Go on then i'll have a lager please,

and here's a very poor joke.


How do you get a poof to fuck a woman,fill her cnut with **** :eek:


JEEZ Ernie......................... :eek:

[Arry the Bar Steward]

[QUOTE=ernie the dwarf]Go on then i'll have a lager please,

and here's a very poor joke.
QUOTE]

easy tiger - ladies present - but I'll agree it was a very poor joke - anyway - here's a lager

[ernie the dwarf]

Sorry it's been a long day...... :o

[baldyshinehead]

hey arry, do you serve coffee in this ere bar mate :confused: :o

[Arry the Bar Steward]

hey arry, do you serve coffee in this ere bar mate :confused: :o

certainly sir, full caff, de-caff or spanish coffee?

that's cafe olé :D

[baldyshinehead]

certainly sir, full caff, de-caff or spanish coffee?

that's cafe olé :D

errrrr :confused: coffee, white, 2 sugars :o do i look italian :D

[Grav]

Large Talisker please Arry.

[Dexxie]

....a large fortified (rally!) strength orange juice please my good man..... :D

[Arry the Bar Steward]

a large Talisker for Grav and afortified orange juice for Dexxie - and I think I'll have a talisker myself to celebrate losing my virginity :D

Cheers to all who've come to my watering hole to help me out :D

[scouselee]

good evenin Dexxie, lovely weather eh!

[Dexxie]

good evenin Dexxie, lovely weather eh!

oh yes - a nice bit of torrential rain and wind.....luvverly at this time of year!!!! :D

[Grav]

serves you right for living on a pebble. :D

[Dexxie]

serves you right for living on a pebble. :D

I can hear the (not too) distant sounds of the blues and twos - starting early tonight!

[Grav]

I can't hear a damn thing. I have my headphones on and Pink Floyd playing rather loudly in my lugholes. :D

[Dexxie]

I can't hear a damn thing. I have my headphones on and Pink Floyd playing rather loudly in my lugholes. :D

OI GRAV

:D

[Grav]

Did someone fart? :D

[Arry the Bar Steward]

last one out - turn the lights out please - see you tomorrow :)

[baldyshinehead]

night arry.
ok if i help meself to another coffee

[Arry the Bar Steward]

Cheers Baldyshinehead - hope the coffee was alright.

I had a night off last night but as this evening's running so quiet - I reckon I might as well shut up shop.

Maybe I should have a few more amusements in apart form the jukebox. Perhaps a pool table - or maybe organise a pub quiz?

If anyone pops in for a swift one, help yourself, and leave any suggestions for me on the bar.

Cheers, Arry

[Sig V]

Arry? Any chance of a cup of coco?