Inventions your too lazy to invent...

[Jonnyfp]

Nuclear Wombles
Womble eggs are injected with special radioactive waste and then left in prime locations (such as Iraq, Libya or France)

The Womblings hatch and scurry silently around, Wombling free - making the most of the things that they find, things that most everyday folk leave behind.

Then, when there's a war, a special walky talky owned by President Bush is pressed and the nuclear Wombles explode, killing millions of innocent people and bringing peace to this fair world once more.

I'd imagine there would be a resistance movement, but they would have to remain underground, overground.

[Fozz]

look me in the eye and tell me you made that up......go on......im waiting.......

[Dougie]

What the hell are you on? :eek: :eek:

[WeaverII]

Which illustrates perfectly why today's hot tip, campers, is:

















Don't smoke the really strong stuff whilst watching children's TV..........

[Bosun]

even myb tenuous grasp on reality is struggling there :)

[Fozz]

Pat On The Back Apparatus


Patent : UK4,608,967 Date 2006
Inventor: ; Fozz



This invention is useful for providing a self-administered pat-on-the-back or a congratulatory gesture providing, in the words of the inventor ‘ a needed psychological lift.’ He suggests, ‘ . . . the device of the present invention may also be utilized to impart significant psychological benefits to the user. In this connection, it is well known in the art and practice of self-administered positive reinforcement activity that various techniques can be successfully employed to extol the virtues of one's actions and thoughts. For example, it has been reported that many wealthy and successful individuals engage in conversations with themselves, that is, they talk to themselves. Such an activity is understandable in view of the often small populace of self-motivated individuals and in view of the large volume of self-defeatist conversation known to emanate from those of low self esteem’ So, go on, you owe it to yourself – buy one and give yourself a pat on the back for doing so.

[Bosun]

wonder what names you could give nucleur wombles?

[Fozz]

uncle chernoybl...??

[Jonnyfp]

uncle chernoybl...??


Atol tobermory

[Dougie]

wonder what names you could give nucleur wombles?
Chernobyl Womble
Three Mile Island Womble
Hiroshima Womble
Nagasaki Womble
Windscale Womble

That do ye?

[Fozz]

tomsk....er...ang on....

[Bosun]

madame dungerness
fallout womble
geigercounter womble

[cxdemon]

sizewell b womble,
and they'd all be "fast breeders" so we'd always have plenty to go around, in times of famine they would be ready cooked :D

[Jonnyfp]

sizewell b womble,
and they'd all be "fast breeders" so we'd always have plenty to go around, in times of famine they would be ready cooked :D



True and they reach there 40's and not age beyond there for 500 years. :)

[Fozz]

threadjack....ooohh new word....??? :confused:

[Bosun]

womble on a stick get em while there hot :)

[Fozz]

womble on a stick get em while there hot :)



...thats a toilet brush innit..???

[Dougie]

Nah that's hedgehogs on a stick.....

[Jonnyfp]

womble on a stick get em while there hot :)


So a womble with fuse could be a conventional womble?

[Bosun]

just watch that water fizz

is this a bit like 101 uses for a dead cat? 101 uses for a nuclear womble

use them as a warming hand warmer

[Mrs Reject]

You puerile bastards, hang your heads in shame!

[baldyshinehead]

a soft furry night light for the kiddies :D

[Dougie]

Illumination,well they'd glow green......

BUGGER,beaten!

[Bosun]

You puerile bastards, hang your heads in shame!

sorry miss :o

packs of six could be used instead of heaated rollers :D

[Jonnyfp]

A weather detector
You can hang a piece of string outside your window and detect the weather.

Wet string - Its raining
Moving straing - Its windy
No string - Its foggy

[Bosun]

your could pack 4 in a cool box to keep hot meals warm

thermawomble
meals on wheels womble
takeawaywomble
pizzastone womble

[Dougie]

your could pack 4 in a cool box to keep hot meals warm

thermawomble
meals on wheels womble
takeawaywomble
pizzastone womble
Aye but too many together,ye'd get critical mass,meltdown.

[Jonnyfp]

Aye but too many together,ye'd get critical mass,meltdown.


How about this then?
A GIANT furnace, a massive one.. maybe even two or three y'know, dotted around england. Atop it there's a sign saying "come in! free fags, rockports and cider", and all the scallies/pikies/chavs who are too thick to realise the screams of dying youths means to not go in, jump to the opportunity and run in.

they all die. we're all happy.


you may call it genocide...

i call it geniuside!

[Bosun]

for the bijou appartment

microwave womble

[Fozz]

incoming....

[baldyshinehead]

for the bijou appartment

microwave womble


but which end would the food go in first :eek:

[Bosun]

is that a wellingtomn bomber?

[Bosun]

but which end would the food go in first :eek:

well you would need to check the packaging first

[Jonnyfp]

incoming....



DIVE DIVE DIVE!!!!!!

[Bosun]

put two on a alice band as earwarmers

[Bosun]

if you playted 2 against each other like conkers
would that be nuclear fusion?

[baldyshinehead]

if you playted 2 against each other like conkers
would that be nuclear fusion?



:D :D
:D :D

[Fozz]

DIVE DIVE DIVE!!!!!!

u543 womble

[Jonnyfp]

Bloody wombles....thausands of em...

[Bosun]

http://www.scuzz.com/womblespix/bookwomblesindanger.jpg

nucleur bunker womble

[Fozz]

and after the war....WOMBLE WINTER

[Jonnyfp]

http://www.scuzz.com/womblespix/bookwomblesindanger.jpg

nucleur bunker womble


Now ang on a mo...if they're the weapons why would they be in a bunker?? :D

[baldyshinehead]

Now ang on a mo...if they're the weapons why would they be in a bunker?? :D


there the breeding stock :D

[Bosun]

Now ang on a mo...if they're the weapons why would they be in a bunker?? :D

think of it more as an arms cache :)

[Jonnyfp]

Our undercover journo writes the womble bombings memoirs at a secret location.

Kate bunny Adie (http://www.b3tards.com/uploads/bunnywork.gif)

[Bosun]

could you link several together with jump leads as a battery starter?

[bad toad]

ahem im quite partial to the odd womble!!!! if yer gonna cook her can i have the breasts????? me camera fecked up at the last party!! need a reminder!!!! :rolleyes:

[Jonnyfp]

Someone did invent a bafta award purely for brokeback mountain.

http://www.limpfish.com/b3ta/brokeback_mountain_bafta.jpg

[Bosun]

guh huh :)

[Womble_Lancs]

I'm not sure that I like the way this thread is going...

Womble eggs? Umm, yeah, you can have 'em all JFP, cos I won't be using any.

As for the breasts, BT, they're otherwise occupied at the moment, you'll just have to join the queue :eek:

[Jonnyfp]

I'm not sure that I like the way this thread is going...

Womble eggs? Umm, yeah, you can have 'em all JFP, cos I won't be using any.

As for the breasts, BT, they're otherwise occupied at the moment, you'll just have to join the queue :eek:


Your giving me your eggs???
Are they free range?

[Womble_Lancs]

Your giving me your eggs???
Are they free range?

Organic too :cool:

[Jonnyfp]

Organic too :cool:


Well could you remove the fuse for me then, :D

[Womble_Lancs]

Well could you remove the fuse for me then, :D

LOL, dunno about that, it might go off in my hand :eek:

[WeaverII]

Madame Curie
Great Uncle Fluorescence
Gamma Ray Womble (the famous boxer)
Critical Mass Womble (the preacher)
Pershing Womble (the unwelcome American cousin)

[pingusprogressed]

think a new theme tunes needed


Underground bunker, Wombling Free,
The Nuclear Wombles of greenham Common are we.
Making good use of the atoms that we find,
Things that the everyday scientists leave behind.

Uncle Bulgaria,
He can remember the days when he only had 2 hands,
With his map of the World.
looking for global domination

Wombles are organized, work as a team.
Wombles are nuclear and Wombles glow green.
Underground,bunker, wombling free,
The Wombles of greenham Common are we!

People don't notice us, they never see,
Under their noses a Womble may be.
but womble by night and we look like glowlights,

We're so incredibly, utterly devious...................... :D :rolleyes:

[Dougie]

Doesn't scan too well tho',Pingu...... :D

[Bosun]

nice one pingu

nhs cutbacks
take 2 nucleur wombles twicew a week
saves on x rays

[Bosun]

Gamma Ray Womble (the famous boxer)


now we need a worthy opponent????

[Violetmay]

I'm not sure that I like the way this thread is going...

Womble eggs? Umm, yeah, you can have 'em all JFP, cos I won't be using any.

As for the breasts, BT, they're otherwise occupied at the moment, you'll just have to join the queue :eek:

S'alright he'll have to make do with mine!!!!! :D

[Jonnyfp]

S'alright he'll have to make do with mine!!!!! :D



:o erm......ooh is that the time already??? byeee!! :eek:

[pingusprogressed]

Doesn't scan too well tho',Pingu...... :D
think have to get stevie on the job for us :rolleyes: :D

[Bosun]

a new one for the rally scene?

[Violetmay]

:o erm......ooh is that the time already??? byeee!! :eek:


Well don't me wrong I am sure womble's boobie's are great and all her own!!! :D But mine will still have to do... :D

[Jonnyfp]

Well don't me wrong I am sure womble's boobie's are great and all her own!!! :D But mine will still have to do... :D



*blush*..........

[Violetmay]

*blush*..........

Aw don't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :o :o I would invent an anti blushing tablet.. those creams don't work and I blush easy.. (am changing subject here). :D :D

[Bosun]

something useful for this time of year
http://www.rube-goldberg.com/images/icy_pavements.jpg

[Jonnyfp]

Aw don't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :o :o I would invent an anti blushing tablet.. those creams don't work and I blush easy.. (am changing subject here). :D


Fanks.. :D

[Violetmay]

:o :o :o o get that tablet now!!!!!!

I'd also invent a web cam that makes you look pretty!!! :D

[smeghead]

:o :o :o o get that tablet now!!!!!!

I'd also invent a web cam that makes you look pretty!!! :D
see i'd invent an x-ray webcam :lol:

[Womble_Lancs]

Well don't me wrong I am sure womble's boobie's are great and all her own!!! :D But mine will still have to do... :D

They certainly are all my own, but I ain't riding for 6 hours just so BT can play wiv em. Besides, I'm too scared of VM :eek:

<-- running away

[bad toad]

They certainly are all my own, but I ain't riding for 6 hours just so BT can play wiv em. Besides, I'm too scared of VM :eek:

<-- running away
aw **** rumbled again!!!!! :D

[baldyshinehead]

http://www.therockalltimes.co.uk/2002/04/22/wombles-offensive.html

[andy_k]

funny as fook :D

[Violetmay]

They certainly are all my own, but I ain't riding for 6 hours just so BT can play wiv em. Besides, I'm too scared of VM :eek:

<-- running away


I'm a pussy cat mate. :D :D

[Spike]

I'm a pussy cat mate. :D :D

So am i ;)


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v662/BikerSpike/image.gif

[Bosun]

its a groove kitten

[Violetmay]

Spike ain't a fluffy kitty is he?!!!?? :eek:And was worried about rodents... If that's a Groove kitten lock away the weapons!!! :D

[Jonnyfp]

http://www.therockalltimes.co.uk/2002/04/22/womble-tank.jpg

That is ace.. :D

[Dougie]

That looks like an Israeli tank,must be Shlomo Ben Womble.......

[WeaverII]

or Terry "Tel" Aviv Womble......

[Spike]

Or a PMT Womble !! :D

[Womble_Lancs]

Or a PMT Womble !! :D

<COFF> .

[Jonnyfp2]

Anyone had any ideas then?
other than i fuck off! :D

[Violetmay]

me being a struggling writer... would like a scribe to get into my dreams write them down and I'll just edit them in the morning.. and turn them into a great literarlly bad piece of work..:)

[InSanCen]

http://dbhs.wvusd.k12.ca.us/webdocs/Humor/cat-carrier.jpg

Cat carrier :D

[Dougie]

Very very old..... :rolleyes:

[Friar Tuck]

A machine to convert your dreams to video/DVD!

Now that could be really scary! :eek:

[Violetmay]

A machine to convert your dreams to video/DVD!

Now that could be really scary! :eek:
ah hah one to convert my dreams in word to word on the pc...and just fire it up in am and there it woud be..no piccies some of my dreams are horrid...

(last one was of me rescuing people from being killed and having their faces cut off and replaced by death masks.. arrrrrrrrghhhh nooo too much!)