Stupid boy Pike!

[Mrs Reject]

Had to go into work early today because of nutters kickin' off and running amok - got on bike ready to kick butt at work. Feckin' bike didn't start - totally dead, flicked kill switch on and off still no lights, revved up tried everything, woke neighbours up with my swearing and carry on, got off bike, kicked it - more swearing. Finally assumed battery was totally flat and prepared to take battery out of Mitch's bike and transfer it into mine so's I could get into work, then a tiny light bulb lit up in my brain that said, "try putting the keys into the ignition". :D
Put keys in ignition, bike fired up a treat. Finally I thought ready to go!!! Tried to reverse bike out of parking space, klunk, nothing, tried again, klunk, nothing again, klunk, nothing. Got off bike thinking gears have packed up - noticed chain still around back wheel - mental note to self *take yer bloody pills before attempting to ride a bike* :D
Finally got bike to work running down school kids and pensioners on the way and had a totally s*it day at work.
back home again now and getting totally pissed to try and erase the pain of the day - hope I don't get called out (I am on call) because I am too pissed to stand!

[Bosun]

that made i smile that do :D

[Jim]

The missus rang me at work the other day, conversation went something like this :-

Catrina - the batterys gone flat on my bike

Me - what makes you say that ?

Catrina - cos it won't bloody start, Doh !!

Me - its a kick start darling

Catrina - AND!!!!??

Me - that means it doesn't matter if the batterys dead

Catrina - then why won't it start (bottom lip out)

Me - is there any petrol in it ?

Catrina - yes ! ....I think so ..... not sure........ no.......oh bollox !!!!

Me - sounds of hysterical giggling.


You sure you and Cat aren't related ?

[dracken1]

some days you just get a mental block.
i work on bikes almost everyday of the week.
but yesterday i had a typhoon twist an go in for work, the headlight was just an orange glow, turned out to be the light switch passing 12 volts but hardly any amperage, fitted new switch.
went to start it up and nothing, completly dead, checked my work, the selonoid and a load more things before i remembered you have to apply the brake before they will start.
this is something i know, but it took me 30 mins to remember,

think i need a break :(

[Maggie B]

Mrs R

Condolences

Some days you want to crawl back into bed

Kill switch-great idea in theory, but not so good when some Tit at Sherburn in Elmet clicks it to see whether the Tart on the green speed triple will be able to start her bike.


Also satfor a long time out side a supermarket in a busy area desperately trying to start Hubby's 250 twist n go-had to ring him in end


"are you pulling the front brake in as you start it???"

Hmmmmmmm

good thing they don't flood

[Dusty]

we have all been there mrs R.

[Bosun]

so there was i on way home tonight.......

and as expected fuell went onto reserve ( couldnt be bothered to fill up last night this morning) so knowing garage only 1 1/2 miles away felt ok, however i then took the route up the stoopidly steep road, fuel tap is at front of tank... so bike shudders to halt.. i balance bike on hideous hill shake tank get going again.... 3 attempts later i get up hill !! then to garage oh well

DOH DOH DOH stoopid

[Yoda]

well on the subject of disaters

After failing its mot the trike had its failing points sorted
So of I trotts to the MOT station this morning
And guess what?
I didn’t get there
I lost all my gears
Either the clutch has exploded or the gearbox is fucked…..
Its in the shop as we speak but he cannot do anything until next week

Really weird the way it went..no warning/no noises/nothing just refused to engage


Yoda

[DANNY]

dont forget to switch fuel tap back to on when you fill it up or next time you think you have gone onto reserve you will end up walking to fuel station. bin there done that got the post card.

[Dusty]

after doing some work on my trike,put all the bits back on and started it up,clutch in select first gear and............nothing,lots of revs etc etc, now knowing how tempremental goldwing clutches can be, we bled the clutch,still nothing,decided the plates were probably shot and as you have to take the engine out to change the b*st*rds, started to do just that.got halfway through and asked matey to unbolt prop from axle..............(if you are ahead of the game ,start laughing now.).........................to which matey replies " what propshaft ?,i thought you re-fitted it when we changed the axle". :o