Proud To Be British?

[Simon B]

One of the British national daily newspapers is asking readers "what it
means to be British?" Some of the emails are hilarious but this is one from
a chap in Switzerland...


Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a
Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish
kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a
Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything
foreign.


Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.


Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the
back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy
cigarettes at the front.


Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a
DIET coke.


Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the
counters.


Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive
and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.


Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
talk to in the first place.


Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating
rink.


NOT TO MENTION...


3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.


142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.


58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.


31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
fairy lights were plugged in.


19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations
were chocolate.


British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
accidents.


101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of
the soles of their feet.


18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth.


A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after
opening bottles of beer with their teeth.


5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of Control
Scalextric cars.


and finally.........


In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.

[PILRCGeff]

The funny thing is its mostly all true

[bullhead]

but still the best place in the whole world :D :D :D

[kitkatman]

you can get married at 16, have gay sex at 16, smoke a fag at 16, but you cannot celebrate with a beer until you are 18

[bullhead]

you can get married at 16, have gay sex at 16, smoke a fag at 16, but you cannot celebrate with a beer until you are 18
no tattoos until 18 mate :D

[PILRCGeff]

the best thing about us British is we simply refuse to take things too seriuosly, hence the letter that started this thread.

Thats the main problem with some of the immigrants, their culture and or religion make them narrow minded and incapable of seeing the joke.

[kitkatman]

no tattoos until 18 mate :D
have sex at 16, cannot watch a porno till your 18

[UKRobT309]

the best thing about us British is we simply refuse to take things too seriuosly, hence the letter that started this thread.

Thats the main problem with some of the immigrants, their culture and or religion make them narrow minded and incapable of seeing the joke.
Good answer. No doubt some would see this as a put down of us British people but it just prves we have a sense of humour. I'd like to see these statistics compared to say the USA.
Im British and proud and its us who invented curry so fuckin there. :D

[Juke]

Yeah I am proud to be british, even though our justice system is the joke of thew planet.

Griff and I had a band from Oz staying with us once. They decided to go on a 'history' lesson, and were blown away by Henge, Avebury and most of all Salisbury Cathedral. Because I am very into 'old things' (no pun meant Griff.....pmsl............ :D ) they thought it would be nice to bring me back a piece of the Cathedral, so set about 'knocking' a bit of stone out of a falling wall in the grounds!!!!!!!!!! I still have the bit of stone, but boy was I pissed at them for doing that to one of our most treasured buildings........... :mad:

I guess they have no idea of history over there eh? They were so shocked at the age of some of our buildings. Churches built in 1107? With tossers like them picking bits off them, it's a wonder we have any fcuklin' history left here!


But yeah, I am still proud to be British.......... :D

[UKRobT309]

Yeah I am proud to be british, even though our justice system is the joke of thew planet.

Griff and I had a band from Oz staying with us once. They decided to go on a 'history' lesson, and were blown away by Henge, Avebury and most of all Salisbury Cathedral. Because I am very into 'old things' (no pun meant Griff.....pmsl............ :D ) they thought it would be nice to bring me back a piece of the Cathedral, so set about 'knocking' a bit of stone out of a falling wall in the grounds!!!!!!!!!! I still have the bit of stone, but boy was I pissed at them for doing that to one of our most treasured buildings........... :mad:

I guess they have no idea of history over there eh? They were so shocked at the age of some of our buildings. Churches built in 1107? With tossers like them picking bits off them, it's a wonder we have any fcuklin' history left here!


But yeah, I am still proud to be British.......... :D
Dracken well verify this but i used to live on a mountain back in Wales called Long Mountain funny enough. About 400 yards away was an old Celtic fort that dated back 3 to 5000 years. Stone henge and the likes were built 2000 years before the Pyramids. We have a history to rival anything. ****, even the Samurais based themselves on British knights.

[Juke]

Wales is really a beautiful place. You must miss it huh Rob?........

[Captain Smurf]

you can get married at 16, have gay sex at 16, smoke a fag at 16, but you cannot celebrate with a beer until you are 18Why you repeating yourself? :p

[UKRobT309]

Wales is really a beautiful place. You must miss it huh Rob?........
With a vengance Juke. Pity really but i got the woman i want and doin ok with living etc. Bit of a trade off but thats life. At least ive got the transport etc to get back regular so that helps. Dawn has promised me when she retires that we can move there as she knows i miss it and she does love it there to but has the family business to run etc.
Ah well, one day i'll get home to stay :D

[Juke]

all good things come to those who wait Rob, and Dawn is worth the wait eh?........ :D

[UKRobT309]

all good things come to those who wait Rob, and Dawn is worth the wait eh?........ :D
Aye, she's worth it. Dont you tell anyone i said that though. People may get the impression im going soft or summat. :D

[Juke]

[QUOTE=UKRobT309]Aye, she's worth it. Dont you tell anyone i said that though. People may get the impression im going soft or summat. :D[/QUOTE

Well wales aint going nowhere mate, and she wil still be as beautiful when you get there as she is now.............. :D

as for Dawn?......well I aint seen her so I cant comment on her mate.....lol

[UKRobT309]

[QUOTE=UKRobT309]Aye, she's worth it. Dont you tell anyone i said that though. People may get the impression im going soft or summat. :D[/QUOTE

Well wales aint going nowhere mate, and she wil still be as beautiful when you get there as she is now.............. :D

as for Dawn?......well I aint seen her so I cant comment on her mate.....lol
Heres Dawn and Mali my dog :D
http://img31.imageshack.us/img31/8575/imageofmy2specialgirlsatxmas00.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[Juke]

yeah I'd say you were a lucky man Rob................ :D

[Borg]

We have a history to rival anything. ****, even the Samurai based themselves on British knights.


The British Knights based their code of conduct on Muslims after the crusade

[seedless]

Proud to be British and I let all these bloody foriegners know it

[Simon B]

Yep its good that we can have a laugh at ourselves.



Rob where does the piece of info about the Samurai basing themselves on British knights come from?

[tease]

Good to see the pride in some. Im proud (fiercly as some know) to be American, and when I get my citizennship, I will be proud to be British as well, until then, Im proud to be IN England and love our way of life!

Being proud of who you are and where you come from is NOT a character flaw, it IS character ;)

[Freak]

There must plenty of other things that stand us apart from other countries.
Like our persistant refusal to take any notice of other coutries leaders telling us what to do... oh wait, I missed out historical. :rolleyes:

[UKRobT309]

Yep its good that we can have a laugh at ourselves.



Rob where does the piece of info about the Samurai basing themselves on British knights come from?
It was a program i saw bloody ages ago. Cant remember facts and figures just basics like the Samurai sword being made by folding steel and carbon together which had been learnt from the British and Danes etc. When i say based i dont mean the whole idea of Samurais. Bugger, wish i could remember where i saw it :rolleyes:

[Simon B]

Rob

Think you'll find it was more the other way round mate, ie the English knights copied some samurai ideas.
The first period of Samurai ( Asuka Nara Period) was from 645-794 this is when the Samurai can be charted back too.The first swords made in folded metal can be traced back to the year 800.

You've only got to look back to that time in our history to see we didnt even know about the far east then. Also look at say William the Conqueror and the crusades, they started in 1095. I know there was knights before this in this country but not a great deal of wordly travelling. And if we go back to the time of the roman occupation etc, we really where just a rag tag bunch that put up a good fight occasionally.

[UKRobT309]

Rob

Think you'll find it was more the other way round mate, ie the English knights copied some samurai ideas.
The first period of Samurai ( Asuka Nara Period) was from 645-794 this is when the Samurai can be charted back too.The first swords made in folded metal can be traced back to the year 800.

You've only got to look back to that time in our history to see we didnt even know about the far east then. Also look at say William the Conqueror and the crusades, they started in 1095. I know there was knights before this in this country but not a great deal of wordly travelling. And if we go back to the time of the roman occupation etc, we really where just a rag tag bunch that put up a good fight occasionally.
Nope, im sure i was the right way round. Samurais as Samurais are now are only about a thousand years old give or take. Either way it really doesnt matter. Im sick to the back teeth of people trying to undermine our culture thats for sure and no Simon, that wasnt aimed at you.

[Simon B]

Rob heres the facts mate
Heian Period (794-1185)

The samurai's importance and influence grew during the Heian Period, when powerful landowners hired private warriors for the protection of their properties. Towards the end of the Heian Period, two military clans, the Minamoto and Taira, had grown so powerful that they seized control over the country and fought wars for supremacy against each other.

Kamakura Period (1192-1333)

In 1185, the Minamoto defeated the Taira, and Minamoto Yoritomo established a new military government in Kamakura in 1192. As shogun, the highest military officer, he became the ruler of Japan.

Muromachi Period (1333 - 1573)

During the chaotic Era of Warring States (sengoku jidai, 1467-1573), Japan consisted of dozens of independent states which were constantly fighting each other. Consequently, the demand for samurai was very high. Between the wars, many samurai were working on farms. Many of the famous samurai movies by Kurosawa take place during this era.

Azuchi-Momoyama Period (1573 - 1603)

When Toyotomi Hideyoshi reunited Japan, he started to introduce a rigid social caste system which was later completed by Tokugawa Ieyasu and his successors. Hideyoshi forced all samurai to decide between a life on the farm and a warrior life in castle towns. Furthermore, he forbade anyone but the samurai to arm themselves with a sword.

Edo Period (1603 - 1868)

According to the Edo Period's official hierarchy of social castes, the samurai stood at the top, followed by the farmers, artisans and merchants. Furthermore, there were hierarchies within each caste. All samurai were forced to live in castle towns and received income from their lords in form of rice. Masterless samurai were called ronin and caused minor troubles during the early Edo Period.

With the fall of Osaka Castle in 1615, the Tokugawa's last potential rival was eliminated, and relative peace prevailed in Japan for about 250 years. As a result, the importance of martial skills declined, and most samurai became bureaucrats, teachers or artists.

In 1868, Japan's feudal era came to an end, and the samurai class was abolished.

Anyway I'm sick to death of people trying to change the way we live to be more like their own. The only reason I started the post was cause I thought it was amusing and at the end of the day if you cant have a laugh about yourselves every now and again, then it really is a sorry old world.
And while Im at it, I am not proud to be British. BUT Im proud to be English

[tease]

As long as we are talking about being sick of things, can I say one thing IM sick of?

This happens more often that I CARE to count, but having a person (yep a Brit) asking me "Why are you HERE when you can live in AMERICA ?"

I know many English, Brit, Irish, Welsh that are PROUD to be who they are, but when they ask me THAT, it makes me wonder why they think living in the states is some fun filled, ride on streets of gold, drink ambrosia life? If they think its SO friggin grand why are they HERE?

I TRY to explain, the states are fun to visit, but they should take a clue from the fact that, as a yank I WANT to live here and be a part of this culture!

OK, thats off my chest now ;)

[bunbag]

the union of the crown,s is & was illegal it was not voted by the people
but hay :(
also the scots have the right of free passage anywere in britain so we can walk through your garden .not pay road tax dont pay bridge tolls if you got a sheep in the back of the car , :p black faced sheep are the best ;)

[Simon B]

So Tease, why are you here?


Sorry had to be done

[Mitch]

With the fall of Osaka Castle in 1615, the Tokugawa's last potential rival was eliminated, and relative peace prevailed in Japan for about 250 years. As a result, the importance of martial skills declined, and most samurai became bureaucrats, teachers or artists.

In 1868, Japan's feudal era came to an end, and the samurai class was abolished.


This lot sounds familiar Simon, was it from the appendix to Shogun, by James Clavell? Massive book. :D

Clavell based his character Toranaga (played in the mini-series/film by Toshiro Mifune - who was a stalwart of Korusawa's films) on Shogun Tokugawa.

[bunbag]

As long as we are talking about being sick of things, can I say one thing IM sick of?

This happens more often that I CARE to count, but having a person (yep a Brit) asking me "Why are you HERE when you can live in AMERICA ?"

I know many English, Brit, Irish, Welsh that are PROUD to be who they are, but when they ask me THAT, it makes me wonder why they think living in the states is some fun filled, ride on streets of gold, drink ambrosia life? If they think its SO friggin grand why are they HERE?

I TRY to explain, the states are fun to visit, but they should take a clue from the fact that, as a yank I WANT to live here and be a part of this culture!

OK, thats off my chest now ;) most of the scots descendant,s were put into the first known concentration camps then shipped of to the collonies , :eek:

[Simon B]

Mitch, no its not mate, I suspect he got his info from the same place as me, Japanese Samurai archive.

[PILRCGeff]

[QUOTE=bunbag]the union of the crown,s is & was illegal it was not voted by the people
[QUOTE]

You obviously live under the false illusion that we live in a Democracy.

We should be living in a Democratic Monarchy. Thats the theory.

In fat we are living in what is increasingly becoming a corrupt dictatorship.

Political rant over :rolleyes:

[seedless]

It is still the best country in the world

[PILRCGeff]

By the way Im proud of a lot of things.

Im proud I was born English.
Im proud to be British as well.
Im also proud of my Scottish ancestry.
Im rather less proud of the fact that in the family closet there lurks at least one Frenchman(But that was a few generations ago)

[bunbag]

It is still the best country in the world
i know scotland is and thanks for your sup :D port

[Abb]

even the Samurais based themselves on British knights.

What a load of bollocks.

[PILRCGeff]

The secret is in folding two grades of steel together over and over.
the one grade is softer and less brittle the other harder and therefore holds an edge better.

there are very few tradesmen still doing this in Japan. Most so called samurai swords on the market are made from stainless. A real one would cost you a small fortune (as it should given all the work that goes into it)

[Mitch]

Mitch, no its not mate, I suspect he got his info from the same place as me, Japanese Samurai archive.
I suppose he did... where is this Samurai archive of which you speak?

I've been into all this Japanese stuff for years - I suppose ever since seeing the Shogun mini-series when I was a kid with old Richard Chamberpot as Blackthorn!! :D (read the book a couple of years ago - heavy going but brilliant - it's one of those books which if you lend it out, you never get it back).

I actually found Memoirs of a Geisha quite fascinating the other week for the same reason.

[Simon B]

Mitch, i read loads on the Samurai, way of the Bushido etc in the past, but here's a really good site for info

http://www.samurai-archives.com/

[Mitch]

Mitch, i read loads on the Samurai, way of the Bushido etc in the past, but here's a really good site for info

http://www.samurai-archives.com/

Cheers for that Simon, I'll have to have a look later.

[Kingo]

Try talking to some of the allied service people that were taken prisenor by the Japs in ww11, I think you will get a better understanding about the Jap way of life and death :(

[Simon B]

Kingo, I understand where your coming from, but were talking about something that was hundreds of years prior to that.
No excuse for what happened in the world wars I know, but not really related.

[Kingo]

This is an extract from the history of the Samurai,the sword has it's origins in China & korea.

The Samurai became expert in fighting from horseback and on the ground. They practiced armed and un-armed combat. The early Samurai emphasized fighting with the bow and arrow. They used swords for close-in fighting and beheading their enemies. Battles with the Mongols in the late 13th century led to a change in the Samurai's fighting style. They began to use their sword more and also made more use of spears and naginata. The Samurai slowly changed from fighting on horseback to fighting on foot.

The Samurai wore two swords (daisho). One was long; the other short. The long sword (daito - katana) was more than 24 inches. The short sword (shoto - wakizashi) was between 12 and 24 inches. The Samurai often gave names to their swords and believed it was the "soul" of their warriorship. The oldest swords were straight and had their early design in Korea and China. The Samurai's desire for tougher, sharper swords for battle gave rise to the curved blade we still have today. The sword had its beginning as iron combined with carbon. The swordsmith used fire, water, anvil and hammer to shape the world's best swords. After forging the blade, the sword polisher did his work to prepare the blade for the "furniture" that surrounded it. Next, the sword tester took the new blade and cut through the bodies of corpses or condemned criminals. They started by cutting through the small bones of the body and moved up to the large bones. Test results were often recorded on the nakago (the metal piece attaching the sword blade to the handle).

Japanese samurai warriors were ranked at the top of the Japanese social hierarchy for hundreds of years until 19th century. Shogun were the most powerful samurai who ruled Japan at the time.

The medieval swords of Japan was typically a long, straight or slightly curved blade having 2 two cutting edges set into a hilt or tang. There are many tang types. There is the full tang, the encapsulated tang, the rat tail tang, the half push tang, the half tang and the full push tang. The full tang is best because it will give your sword the most stability when making full contact. The sword was the samurai warrior's most treasured weapon. It was a part of him. Swords were awarded as medals and some Samurai's even died to retrieve a treasured sword for their Shogun.

[Simon B]

Kingo the point I was trying to make between world war two the samurai etc can best be explained in this sentence

In 1868, Japan's feudal era came to an end, and the samurai class was abolished.

[Abb]

Caused by American intervention.

The Japanese as a culture regard honour above all things. Capture by the enemy removes all honour - they believe you should die fighting rather than be captured.

Soldiers captured by the Japanese, be they Chinese, US/UK or Australian, were all treated the same - as dogs. This is not down to an inherent cruelty, but to a historical social conditioning that is as old as Japanese society.

[Kingo]

Thought you might find this of interest ;)
http://home.earthlink.net/~steinrl/nihonto.htm

[UKRobT309]

What a load of bollocks.
Well i didnt write the script for the program. If im honest i couldnt give a flying fuck what the Samurais do, theyre as obsolete as anything else with honour on this planet nowadays. Im gonna keep out of these pissy little arguments cause it seems to be more popular to slate and undermine British culture than support it. I know how i feel so thats good enough for me.
Right, im off to eat some good old British Pork Pie and English mustard so fuck the Muslims and any other twats that dont like it. So bloody there. :cool:

[Kingo]

Catch you later mate ;)

[Simon B]

Rob

Who's slagging off this country?

Sorry mate I dont get your point, this first part is some joke observations.

Its about having a laugh.

[kitkatman]

hey rob............want some onion barghees to go with ya pork pie :D

[UKRobT309]

Rob

Who's slagging off this country?

Sorry mate I dont get your point, this first part is some joke observations.

Its about having a laugh.
Yeah, and? Im talking in general. Cant be arsed with going over the same thing over and over again. Just my time of the month so dont panis.
FUCK FUCK FUCK!
Just spilt tea on my bare foot. :mad:

[UKRobT309]

hey rob............want some onion barghees to go with ya pork pie :D
Theyre a British invention to. Infact Britain invented the fuckin world and made everything and we are fuckin amazing. So says i :cool:

[kitkatman]

Theyre a British invention to. Infact Britain invented the fuckin world and made everything and we are fuckin amazing. So says i :cool:
i totally agree there....BUT......why did we make muslims.....i reckon it was a after market part for a lambretta :D

[UKRobT309]

i totally agree there....BUT......why did we make muslims.....
Cause we needed to control the amount of bacon consumed in the world. If we hadnt invented muslims the price of bacon would have gone sky high due to over eating of such a fine product. Pigs are one of Britains greatest inventions me thinks. :D

[kitkatman]

Cause we needed to control the amount of bacon consumed in the world. If we hadnt invented muslims the price of bacon would have gone sky high due to over eating of such a fine product. Pigs are one of Britains greatest inventions me thinks. :D
you should be prime minister


what thinking....i am in awe...i bow to thee :D

[UKRobT309]

you should be prime minister



Nah mate, that would turn me into a corrupt cheating bastard that wouldnt know the truth if it bit me on me bum. As it is i just like to say things that are true and honest. :D

[UKRobT309]

Which part of the operation hurt most rob? :p
jz\kjbv fk;z\;sfr;g;\Sgvbs\ :eek:

[Crofty]

So, do they really turn it inside out?

[xjtriker666]

yea an dont ferget black pudding.............

[kitkatman]

or the bedfordshire clanger