virtual bar open

[Bosun]

as i may well be drunk later, having my ex ring me up, offering money no less
and the Decree absolute in today as well

absolutely anything you want you may have..

personnally i shall have a pint of sarah hughes ruby mild

[Rabid]

Pint of Abbot please in a straight glass.

[Bosun]

sold to the man in hat and spats

[Yoda]

2 bottles of bud ice...ok who wants me

[Bosun]

ooh you tart :D

[Mitch]

as i may well be drunk later, having my ex ring me up, offering money no less
and the Decree absolute in today as well

absolutely anything you want you may have..

personnally i shall have a pint of sarah hughes ruby mild

Nice one!! - Sarah Hughes' Dark Ruby is one of those surefire ways to celebrate, a few pints of that and you'll be (if you're like me and Mrs R!) flat on your back in no time!!

[Bosun]

Nice one!! - Sarah Hughes' Dark Ruby is one of those surefire ways to celebrate, a few pints of that and you'll be (if you're like me and Mrs R!) flat on your back in no time!!


been there done that got the t shirt..
right off to work now ho hum

[Rogue Monkey]

Vodka and Coke please barman! :D

[krammer]

a pint of 'bow please old bean:D

[Rogue Monkey]

I say old chap thats a dapper pair of breeches you have! :D

[krammer]

rather spiffing belstaff jacket too if i'm not mistaken:D

[Rogue Monkey]

Good god! Whats that man there with the muddy boots! Dont you know this is a gentlemans establishment! He`s ordering Beer! Ye Gods! whats wrong with the Port? Too much of a mans drink ehh? Tell the staff to through him out! Riff raff! :eek:

[liztombs]

well ill have a 24 pack of tetly please with a pint glass Nah make that a beer mug :D

[krammer]

Good god! Whats that man there with the muddy boots! Dont you know this is a gentlemans establishment! He`s ordering Beer! Ye Gods! whats wrong with the Port? Too much of a mans drink ehh? Tell the staff to through him out! Riff raff! :eek: beer? thats what poor people drink. brandy and cigars all round methinks chop chop :D

[Mrs Reject]

Well just remember to pass the port round the right way, you can be shot for that sort of impertinent error you know?
Me and Mitch were stupidly persuaded to go to a drinks party held by a friend of my mother and we felt very conspicuous there. Picture if you will two scruffy bikers both with long unruly hair, skull and crossbones wristbands, bandanas etc and a roomful of elderly hooray henrys :D
The hostess asked us if we could guess what her latest expensive sculpture was - we thought it looked just like a knob, it was an elephant's trunk. Oh dear, cue our exit in disgrace!
Me and Mitch think it would be better henceforth to stick to our own kind - bikers :) I'll have a bottle of dog in a tankard thank you very much!!!

[BlackPig]

Good for you Fayji.

I'll have a tanker o' Guiness , thanks.

No,no,no,before anyone starts that isn't a spelling mistake :p

Just park it up and open the tap :D :D

[triker_gal]

Congrats Fayji , i'll have a pint of blood please and a tia maria n coke chaser :D

if you can't find any blood, just get Friar Tuck :eek:

[Dougie]

Evening folks.Pint of Sam Smith's Old Brewery Bitter and a large Jagermeister please.

[Dougie]

And a Holsten Pils and a bag of Tayto Cheese'n'onion crisps for she who must be obeyed,thanks!

[saxman]

oooh free beer...a pint of old speckled hen for mr please. :cool:

[Rogue Monkey]

Beer sucks!.........Bottle O Bacardi bar tender! :p

[Bosun]

Vodka and Coke please barman! :D
for you with a umberella as well

[Bosun]

a pint of 'bow please old bean:D


schuumpfff schuuumpfff schuumpfff ( or how ever you hake the sound orf arrows)

wouldn't incjhes of Biddendiums cider be more to your liking?

[Bosun]

well ill have a 24 pack of tetly please with a pint glass Nah make that a beer mug :D



oh dear someones let fag ash lil in.. someone remember to prize her ouy from under the pinball table at closing time :D

[Bosun]

I'll have a bottle of dog in a tankard thank you very much!!!

a sound move as have just imbided in similar myself

[Bosun]

Good for you Fayji.

I'll have a tanker o' Guiness , thanks.

No,no,no,before anyone starts that isn't a spelling mistake :p

Just park it up and open the tap :D :D


i shall add the usual incontinennce leg bag to other end to save you walking to the loo

[Bosun]

Congrats Fayji , i'll have a pint of blood please and a tia maria n coke chaser :D

if you can't find any blood, just get Friar Tuck :eek:


we have a new young vintage in the pinrut variety which i feel you may fiind amusuinhg

[Bosun]

and for the rest of you just help yourself, bar is now in full flow

[Rogue Monkey]

I`ll HIC! ave anover.............erm........Vodi n coke and dont forget the umbrella thiny ......OH! an one o those plastic stairers in the shape of a sea horse! :p

[Rogue Monkey]

Sings!...Cracklin' Rosie get on board ..........slides down the bar and falls to the floor! :(

[Bosun]

so thats who left the evil stain

[Friar Tuck]

Bleedin'ell! This bar looks like a bomb site!

I'll have a pint or two of Merrydown Vintage please, Barman!

And a round of Garlic Butties to keep TG away! :p

[Jim]

Small sweet sherry please.

[Bosun]

And a round of Garlic Butties to keep TG away! :p


i dont think that works any more
your pints on way


jim were out of sherry, would a small warm meths do?

[Rabid]

Have you got any pork scratchings as i am a tad peckish i dont want those one that are filled with air i want proper ones that are hard to bite into :) please. Do you sell malibu in this bar. :p

[Bosun]

im not sure if they are pork scrstching in the corner or where yoda spent he night or not

malibu? a pint or a quart

[triker_gal]

Bleedin'ell! This bar looks like a bomb site!

I'll have a pint or two of Merrydown Vintage please, Barman!

And a round of Garlic Butties to keep TG away! :p
mmmmmm garlic bread Yum !! :D

[Bosun]

mmmmmm garlic bread Yum !! :D


told you it wouldn't work :D

[haystax]

large j d ,n a pint o cider.

[Rogue Monkey]

Show me the way to go ome! Im HIC! tired and HIC! wanna crawl to bed..............

[Mitch]

Pint of JD and coke please? I think I'm gonna need one at the end of this shift :)

[Rogue Monkey]

What times the dancers on? :rolleyes:

[BlackPig]

BUUUUURRRRRRRRRRPPPPPP!!!!!

Well , that wasnae bad fer starters.....................









...........................TAVERNIER !!!.............................








............same again plz squire !! :D :D

[Rogue Monkey]

Theres no bloody Fun loving criminals on`t juke Box! Bleedin ell! hold on , wots this....Mariah Cary! Jeez! wot sort of an establishment is this? :confused: :D

[Rabid]

Inn keeper somebody has thrown up in the bogs and the urinal is blocked. :confused:

[Friar Tuck]

Ere! Barman Gis anuver Pint of that Merrydown!

Bugger! How was I to know that TG loves Garlic Bread! Humph!

Anyone cleared those bogs yet? I'm dying for a piss, an' where those dancers?

[Rogue Monkey]

oy! barman...... I just slipped in some sick in`t bogs! Get yer act sorted dude! Ive soiled me strides now! bloody ell! Cant get in`t club after smellin like this! :eek:

[Dougie]

Dearie me!You people have no decorum! :eek:

[Rogue Monkey]

Packet o Cashues please! Oh! an a pint o cider pleez! :D

[triker_gal]

Anyone got a bucket ? I think i've had a little too much



BAAAARRFFFFFFFFFFF

[BlackPig]

Anybody got a straw :D :eek: :rolleyes:

[Bosun]

jeez been awayb from bar for too long


while i get the bucket out to clean unsightly sytains, is anyone sober enough to go to offie to renew stocks of spirits

[BlackPig]

jeez been awayb from bar for too long


while i get the bucket out to clean unsightly sytains, is anyone sober enough to go to offie to renew stocks of spirits


Yeah, what time does it shut ? :D :D

[Jay]

Evening Gentlemen

[Rabid]

Ive just got time for a swift half.

[Bosun]

Yeah, what time does it shut ? :D :D


bars open permenantly
virtual offie at closes at 10 we need
2 jd, 1 jamesons, a barrell of vodaka, a bacardi , a bottle of black pig and 2 large packs of nuts for the bar

[Rabid]

Malibu as well please :D

[Bosun]

OI black pig dont forget malibu on thre beer run

[BlackPig]

bars open permenantly
virtual offie at closes at 10 we need
2 jd, 1 jamesons, a barrell of vodaka, a bacardi , a bottle of black pig and 2 large packs of nuts for the bar


I'll pop round about 11 ish, it'll be much cheaper !!!!

2 bags o' nuts,aren't there enough o' us allready ? :D :D

[Bosun]

2 bags o' nuts,aren't there enough o' us allready ? :D :D


depends if in public or saloon bar

[Dougie]

Bar's a bit dead tonight!Anyway,pint o' Sam Smiths (cos you don't have a good IPA) and a very large Jagermeister please! :)

[Rabid]

Malibu and lucozade please anybody fancy a game of darts?

[Dougie]

The authorities won't let me near pointy things...........
AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
:eek: :eek: :eek:

[BlackPig]

Mezcal please................












What in the world would I want a glass for ???







F'kin' 'ell, you just can't get the staff these days !! :rolleyes:

[Bosun]

i do apologise for the dire staffage here tonight... i think i shall now just hang a sign out "help yourself till its gone"

[triker_gal]

Hope you dont mind if I preserve FriarTuck till the forum party do ya ? :D

[Rabid]

It doesnt matter how much i drink i always wake up thirsty :confused:

[Friar Tuck]

'N I'll 'ave anuvver glash o' that there Merrydown pleesh!

N 'u 'n me TG can play at kish chayshe! 'N' I might let you cash me! Urpp!

Barman! Wheresh that Merrydown? Cheersh! Gis anuvverplees Guv! N' Give old TG one here as well!

Ooh ,hark at me! *snigger* 'Ere! Tg You don't arf look smashing from under thish table! *wheres me bloody contact lenses gorn?*

[Bosun]

never can work out if you are either very early for the bar monsiur le tuck, or one of the last to leave?

[Dougie]

Does he leave?Mebbe he lives in the cellar!Don't you open that trap-door! ;)

[Rabid]

Pint of Drambouie for me please, and some pork scratchings.

[poridge wog]

i'll have a small medicinal jamesons with a guinness chaser thank you, and one for the barman
cheers :o

[pinrut]

someone get me some JD if i give em the money please

[triker_gal]

someone get me some JD if i give em the money please
*sneaks Pinrut the bottle and hopes no-ones looking*

Sshhh keep it under yer hat ;)

[defarter]

did some one say Jamesons :p :p :p

[Bosun]

yes but we think we got away with it...

sadly due to licencing laws and the fact this building has a demiolition oreder this bar may close in the year 3015

last orders anyone?

[Friar Tuck]

"UNNER NEEF THE ARCHIEESS"

I nned to get going ome! now wheressh me car keeess! bugger I walkled! Virtually!

Them Bogs are crap! No paper! Urpp! Frppp!

I'm going for a kebab! Anyone coming?

[Bosun]

Anyone coming?


no just an embarrasing damp patch

[Rogue Monkey]

It`s your round dude! :D

[defarter]

No it's not it' yours :D :D

Just oft to pick up a set of forks.......Laters ;)

[Bosun]

your round dude! :D

its only puppy fat
your not so slim yourself :) :)

[Rogue Monkey]

Lean mean dancin machine! :D

[Doro]

someone get me some JD if i give em the money please

gawd

methinks he gets too much pocket money :eek:

[Bosun]

gawd

methinks he gets too much pocket money :eek:


good job he hasnt found the ewoktuck bar

[bunbag]

BARRY DRINK BEER CALLED ZYWIEC recommended , Please get some in ;)

[Bosun]

is that served with lemon or a straw?

[krammer]

would you like a flake in that love?:D

[BlackPig]

Hello !!

Hello !!


HELLO !!


2 pint's o' larger an' a packet o' crisps, please !! :D :D :rolleyes:

[deathrider]

i need a beer or 20 :(

[Bosun]

ish shelfff shervish now cosh im pusshed

[BlackPig]

ish shelfff shervish now cosh im pusshed


Yer alwite guv'ner we'll tek good care o' the joint ;)

Don't you worry,be safe wiv us know what I mean, m8 !!! :D :eek:

[Bosun]

af i effer told you **sway** yooooure** my besgteresttttt **hic burp** friends ....

[triker_gal]

where's me ferkin blood supply gone then ????? :mad:

[Bosun]

the blood transfusion van will be outside 11-4

coo got a headache today

[triker_gal]

the blood transfusion van will be outside 11-4

coo got a headache today
sits patiently waiting :D

[Bosun]

sits patiently waiting :D
for patients :D

[triker_gal]

for patients :D
Ssshhhhh You'll scare them away ffs ;)

[Dougie]

TOO LATE! :eek: :eek:
(sound of bike firing up and fecking off into distance at high speed!)