Secret Santa

[Erogenous Jones]

Mrs E.J. has been informed that everyone at her workplace has to sign up for Secret Santa. Bloody americanisation.

Most of the staff don't want to do it but feel that they cant say no. :mad:

I suggested running a 'Secret Satan' where you hve to inflict pain & misery on the name you pull out. Or buying a totally inappropriate/insulting gift. Like a 16" circumference dildo for the male HR manager.

Anybody else have to contend with this pc ****e in work? and more importantly any other ideas of how to de-rail it?

[Yoda]

Mrs E.J. has been informed that everyone at her workplace has to sign up for Secret Santa. Bloody americanisation.

Most of the staff don't want to do it but feel that they cant say no. :mad:

I suggested running a 'Secret Satan' where you hve to inflict pain & misery on the name you pull out. Or buying a totally inappropriate/insulting gift. Like a 16" circumference dildo for the male HR manager.

Anybody else have to contend with this pc ****e in work? and more importantly any other ideas of how to de-rail it?
stick a pile of dog poo in a box??

Yoda

[colin]

1. Take a tissue.

2. Wank into tissue.

3. Wrap up in box.

4. Give to person who you got as secret santa.

5. Laugh like a bastard when they open it and its all stale and smelly.

:D :D :D :D

[Dougie]

We used to do Secret Santa stuff in our office,it was generally a good laff.We had one bloke who was a rabid Celtic fan,used to bring in Republican News (a Sinn Fein rag) to piss off the Rangers fans (we in central Scotland are also afflicted with sectarianism,although on a slightly smaller scale than in NI :mad: ) and,as an ex-squaddie it pissed me off as well,but it wasn't worth confronting him about it.
Anyhoo,I got this clown in the draw,so I bought a Rangers mug and,on Fran's prompting,a Terry's Chocolate Orange (some Irish republicans generally have nothing to do with anything orange because of the Loyalist conotations).
So come the day,he opens the pressie,sees the mug and is displeased,opens the Choccie Orange,takes it as a serious insult and goes ballistic,raging that he'd "kill the bastard who did this".When it was pointed out that it was me he went very quiet and scuttled off with his tail between his legs,much to everyone's amusement. :D :D

[iomrob]

We used to do Secret Santa stuff in our office,it was generally a good laff.We had one bloke who was a rabid Celtic fan,used to bring in Republican News (a Sinn Fein rag) to piss off the Rangers fans (we in central Scotland are also afflicted with sectarianism,although on a slightly smaller scale than in NI and,as an ex-squaddie it pissed me off as well,but it wasn't worth confronting him about it.
Anyhoo,I got this clown in the draw,so I bought a Rangers mug and,on Fran's prompting,a Terry's Chocolate Orange (some Irish republicans generally have nothing to do with anything orange because of the Loyalist conotations).
So come the day,he opens the pressie,sees the mug and is displeased,opens the Choccie Orange,takes it as a serious insult and goes ballistic,raging that he'd "kill the bastard who did this".When it was pointed out that it was me he went very quiet and scuttled off with his tail between his legs,much to everyone's amusement.


ah so , the office bully , are yea :p

good one though :D

[Dougie]

ah so , the office bully , are yea :p

good one though :D
Nah m8,not me.Fecker needed a lesson though...... :D
Even the other Celtic fans were pissed off with him.

[ForestFred]

Mrs EJ should tell em to go an get fucked!!!!!!!!!!!!! :mad:
I fuckin hate this you must join in crap!!!
I probably wont be expected to attend the works Xmas party
Did it once fuckin boring!!!!!!!!!!
So the next year said I wouldnt be going
When asked why not I replied I have to work with you bastards all year long I'm sure as hell not going to spend my free time exchanging pleasantires over a fuckin mince pie!

FF the spirit of Xmas :D

[Borg]

Phoblacht na hEireann

A cracking read :)

[Borg]

Tell them you are not allowed to worship of even except the existence of Santa Clause, as a strict Jingjing Jesuit Catholic you think that self chastity and personal sacrifice is the only fitting way to pay tribute to the birth of the lord, but if anyone wishes to pop around on Christmas day you'll be happy to flog them with a thorn bush branch on the genitalia

[Fran]

Tell them you are not allowed to worship of even except the existence of Santa Clause, as a strict Jingjing Jesuit Catholic you think that self chastity and personal sacrifice is the only fitting way to pay tribute to the birth of the lord, but if anyone wishes to pop around on Christmas day you'll be happy to flog them with a thorn bush branch on the genitalia
Christmas would be ok if people would stop dragging religion into it! :rolleyes:

[Spike]

Bah Bloody Humbug !!!

[Dougie]

Phoblacht na hEireann

A cracking read :)
Not back in 1980 when I was gettin' shot at by the bastards it wasn't! :mad: :mad:

[Borg]

Not back in 1980 when I was gettin' shot at by the bastards it wasn't! :mad: :mad:


we used to find a good use for it

[Dougie]

Did it have a toilety element? :confused:

[bunbag]

Not back in 1980 when I was gettin' shot at by the bastards it wasn't! :mad: :mad:
sit in an ally wi six.s freezin lookin about here son here,s a jelly peice grunch glass in it :(

[BikerGran]

I've just said I'm not going to the office xmas 'do'. £14 to have a lunch I won't be able to eat much of (wrong time of day) with some people I wouldn't spend my time with other than at work. I've always gone before but I'm fed up with it. It's not even a good restaurant.

The folks from the office that I would count as friends, I see from time to time anyway. Had enuff of the boss queening it over everyone, bad enuff at work.

Bah humbug.

[iomrob]

well, guess what Sharon told me she had joined at work today :rolleyes: , yip the SS club :(

[Mrs Reject]

Just be thankful you don't work for Asda, in their offices they make their staff do a group, "Asda cheer" at least 5 times a day and slap their arses like the stupid advert. Apparently it builds a good team - presumably like muesli builds a good fart.

[Born2bVile]

We do the Secret Santa thing at work. Eevryone knows just to get me some decent booze.

And the lass I drew out this year has had her present. Appendicitis. She'll be off til the new year.

Cheers,

Byrnie.

[Bosun]

thats a cheap way out of it

we have one at work, its cheaper than snacks and nibbles :D

[blackhack]

just tell them your a satanist.....and you dont celebrate xmas....

works for me...

[Erogenous Jones]

Just be thankful you don't work for Asda, in their offices they make their staff do a group, "Asda cheer" at least 5 times a day and slap their arses like the stupid advert. Apparently it builds a good team - presumably like muesli builds a good fart.

Doesnt surprise me. I've have dealings with Asda through work. All the staff, sorry "colleagues", seem to be treated more like they are in Tumbletots creche than a workplace.

Cheers all for the ideas. I'll pass them on!! :D :D

[Doro]

she could just say 'no thanks'

it's good to say no to stuff you don't want [to do] :)

[Womble_Lancs]

she could just say 'no thanks'

it's good to say no to stuff you don't want [to do] :)

Very true.

[Sir Ewok]

Everybody get together and agree on a pressie, say a bar of Cadbury's Fruit and Nut and all give the same pressie. Failing that a used condom, or at least some egg white in it. Similarly a tampon with some fruit juice soaked into it and dried out. Sexy underwear with raw chillies rubbed into the crotch, a tin of the cheapest foulest beer/cider obtainable. A bottle of meths, an empty spirits bottle, a colouring book, a colloction of money off coupons from the local rag (preferably out of date). If it's the boss or somebody you despise a rebuilt bullet such as youd find in an army surplus store as part of a belt or similar).
Just a few ideas, which I'm sure you could build on...... :cool:

[Fran]

I got the office boy racer in the secret Santa one year.He had just written off his dad's car the week before after losing control going round a corner too fast.Nobody else was hurt he was just a bit bruised. I got corgi copy of the car,smashed it up with a hammer,put it back in the box & wrapped it up again.He didn't see the funny side for some reason. :rolleyes: