I've been lied to all these years

[blackhack]

When I were a nipper , hanging round my grans house, usually following her about in the kitchen (a place where women do things) she once told me
" A watched kettle never boils " I've just discovered ..she lied to me.....I've just watched a kettle boiling, took about three minutes, but it boiled.....

All these years iv'e lived with a lie......

I wonder how many of you have been lied to by a loved one like this ???

[Rogue Monkey]

I thought about how me mother used to feed me :confused: with tiny little
spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use?
toothpicks?

[Jay]

My mum told me that masturbating would mlakem melee bwindl.

[dracken1]

my mum told me to eat my crusts and i would get curly hair.
so i ate them and still do and guess what,
my hair grew straight!!!

[Gypsy]

when pulling a face being told
'if the wind changes you'll stay like that'

[Jay]

Uh ..... I am actually living proof that this statement is true.

[Rogue Monkey]

me mam told me that fag ash was poisenous! She smoked like a trooper and now so do I! Dont know wot the resident psychologists would make o that? :confused:

[krammer]

my mom told she found me under a gooseberry bush.

[Jay]

What about...

'Picking your nose will make your head cave in'

or the timeless

'Watching too much television will give you square eyes'

or even the legendary

'The ice-ream van only plays a tune when it is empty'

[Yoda]

'The ice-ream van only plays a tune when it is empty'

that one isnt a lie

cuz i tell it to my kids all the time

yoda

[Jay]

Yeah they'll thank you for that, you can use the money you save on ice-creams to pay for the counselling they will need.....

[Mrs Reject]

My mother told me to pull my socks up and pass my exams, well I did pull them up and didn't pass any of them. When I stopped wearing socks I passed loads of exams, the bitch lied to me :mad: what have socks got to do with anything!!!

[Dusty]

My gran told me if i swallowed apple pips then a tree would grow in my tummy :o

[Born2bVile]

I got told that little girls were made of sugar and spice and all things nice.

So where does the smell of tuna come from then?

Cheers,

Byrnie.

[krammer]

its not tuna mate. its pilchards:D

[poridge wog]

i was told that if you undid youre belly button yer arse falls off :p
and if you swallowed chewing gum , it would bung up yer arsehole :p

[Moon-Ties]

"This one for us Girlies"

Can't remember who said this (probably a male relation)

"Listen to him men are always right" :rolleyes: :)

[Mrs Reject]

Sounds like a lot of my elderly female podiatry patients. They always say to me that they would really prefer one of the male podiatry students to do their feet because men are more intelligent and know what they're doing whilst women shouldn't be working they should be chained barefoot to the kitchen sink etc etc.
I try to refrain from cutting the old bags foot off with my scalpel as I give her a lovely smile with gritted teeth and try not to scream out loud at their out of the ark attitudes.
Luckily for them they are not aware that my fellow male podiatry students are all 18 year old p*ss heads with one brain cell between them :confused:

[Shudy]

"God wants you for a sunbeam"

Then why have I got a BSA?

[Moon-Ties]

you've heard said
"never to try and figure out a womans mind"
well........it sometimes goes for mens minds too :D

[Shudy]

you've heard said
"never mind a womans figure":D

No, they'll moan about it themselves. :)

[Shudy]

Got this from the Psychology taster session......

[triker_gal]

And the male brain.......

[Shudy]

And the male brain.......

Surely the sex motor centre is underdeveloped in your model?

[Yoda]

Surely the sex motor centre is underdeveloped in your model?

this is better
yoda

[bunbag]

mum told me if i eat chewing gum that my bum would heal up.!!! eat carrot,s help,s you see in the dark ( try a torch it works a lot better but dont eat it ) :(