How to stop jehovas witnesses . . .

[jonny-exile]

. . . from knocking on your door :D

[Freak]

BULLHEAD....did you model for that :D

[SatinBlack]

I remember my old man pissed up throwing coal at them they left pretty quick then, turned out years ago he was stuck on a plane coming back from Canada with loads of them on it :D

[Jay]

Just invite them in, put on some Hendrix (All Along The WATCHTOWER) they'd soon fark off then :D

[Captain Smurf]

I remember my old man pissed up throwing coal at them they left pretty quick then, turned out years ago he was stuck on a plane coming back from Canada with loads of them on it :D
Ooohh I wish I hadn't read that :eek:

[Qwyplain Dhark]

my house smells of wee and cats, they don't bother me

[rommel]

I just get out my bible............................ :D

[critch]

my mate rob jesus(dont ask......) used to keep jovo eggs....

kept on the window sill for at least two months and then gracefully lobbed...

he went to the door dressed in a sheet once holding a rams skull and a kitchen knife smeared in ketchup .....they ran pretty quickly


personally i tell em im wiccan and when they say "we will pray for you" i smile and say "cheers!! ill pray for you too" :D

get some looks of absolute terror :D

[rommel]

my mate rob jesus(dont ask......) used to keep jovo eggs....

kept on the window sill for at least two months and then gracefully lobbed...

he went to the door dressed in a sheet once holding a rams skull and a kitchen knife smeared in ketchup .....they ran pretty quickly


personally i tell em im wiccan and when they say "we will pray for you" i smile and say "cheers!! ill pray for you too" :D

get some looks of absolute terror :D
I love that one ..................lol...................... :D

[Dougie]

Just tell 'em yer a blood donor,or,failing that,firebomb 'em! :D

[Kingo]

I just have a sign on my door that says NO SALES PEOPLE OR RELIGIOUS CALLERS they get halfway down the path before they can read it and turn around and go bother someone else :D

[johnr]

i usually tell em to get off my property, and slam the door shut before they can speak.

[baldyshinehead]

Anyone who knows me knocks on the window, if the door goes i just yell, F'off

[iomrob]

had 2 stunning ladies come to the door once , thought ,whoarrrrrr, then opne of them said
"we have come to talk to you about god"
i replied
"why, i dont come to your house to talk about what i believe in"
"oh, and what do you believe in" was the reply
"motorcycles, rock music and group sex" i told them
my ex nearly wet herself. the look of horror on their faces was priceless. they just walked off. :D

[bullhead]

BULLHEAD....did you model for that :D
mmmmmmmmmm mine are bigger :D :D

[krammer]

answer the door with your cock in your hand and say come in, i'll just finish me wank and then we can have a chat.

[jonny-exile]

answer the door with your cock in your hand and say come in, i'll just finish me wank and then we can have a chat.

PML
:D :D :D

[Bosun]

can i borrow that to show my consultant :)

[Mistress Maker]

you all really want to thank your lucky stars.
The Ex mother in law is a witness.......... say no more.
When I first met my ex hubby his mam said to him , and I quote
"don,t get involved with that hussy from downstairs coz she wears black, listens to satanic music and smokes drugs "
hmmmmmm she was NOT impressed when her little darling picked her up from the airport after her holiday away to see her "brothers and sisters" in Canada with "that evil hussy " in tow.
Needless to say we never got on and when witnesses knock on my door i just tell them that I,m a witch and goodbye .Works for me...

[iomrob]

answer the door with your cock in your hand and say come in, i'll just finish me wank and then we can have a chat.


why "coming" from you , does that not suprise me :p :D

[Bosun]

you still have the hamster on yours of course

[krammer]

why "coming" from you , does that not suprise me :p :D it was a hypothetical answer to a conundrum. i would never answer the door with my knob in my hand as it could frighten the paper boy and i would be in big trouble....besides, i don't wank............................much.............. .....really............................:o

[rommel]

pull the other one........it has bells on :D

[Dougie]

Wot?He's got TWO KNOBS?!? :eek: :confused: :eek:

[wearthefoxhat]

I grew up with Kingdom Hall just around the corner and every summer the God Botherers would come and annoy us.
My father tried everything. Swearing at them, slamming the door in their faces; nothing worked.
He was told that the GUARANTEED method of getting rid of them is simple.
"We're Jewish"

[tease]

Best one that seemed to work for me was when I answered the door with a 10' Boa constrictor wrapped round me :D

[Sir Ewok]

When we worked on the bins, we had a jehovas witness on our crew. He was Ok except he would whack you if you swore (he was a hard cnut). He went to do a bin in one house and the sign said 'No Jehova's Witnesses' so he promptly turned round without emptying the bin. The houseowner rang and complained, but was told that the binman was only obeying their instructions. Oh we did laugh....... :rolleyes:

Had a mate who was a Jehova's bystander...... he didn't want to get involved.



















I'll get me coat. :cool: Sir Ewok in disguise