excalibur
27-10-2005, 08:07 AM
A verv large company (associated with the motor trade) issues BMW cars
to certain staff. One of their
Representatives, whose driving was known to be in question, was asked to
read out the following to his colleagues.
"The other day I was cruising along as usual in my BMW coming onto one
of my motorways, which was very
busv with inferior cars. First off, I couldn't believe the volume of
traffic that DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL
as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough
gap between two cars in order to get onto my
motorway! (The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake
though and honked an apology to me with a
long blast of his hom.)
Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW
lane. (Why do underlings use this lane?
Surely everyone knows it is for BMW drivers only?) Anyway, once I was in
the BMW lane and posing along at
110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving
me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me
which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a
ridiculous 70 mph!
Naturally, I got to within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed
my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be
in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way. Of course, once
he realised it was a BMW behind
him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled
straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep
up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue
lights in his front grill and urged me to
get on to the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my
excellent car.
Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when he had stopped, the man
gave me a piece of paper confirming what
I already knew-that my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to
know what a superior car I have, so I had
to take my driver's licence to a Police Station to be sent away to have
some points put on! (They're not free points
either-they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the
Police Station said that because I drive a
BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then
I won't even NEED a driving licence, so
they will take it off me! See, now THAT'S the sort of respect you get
when you buy and drive a BMW."
to certain staff. One of their
Representatives, whose driving was known to be in question, was asked to
read out the following to his colleagues.
"The other day I was cruising along as usual in my BMW coming onto one
of my motorways, which was very
busv with inferior cars. First off, I couldn't believe the volume of
traffic that DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL
as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough
gap between two cars in order to get onto my
motorway! (The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake
though and honked an apology to me with a
long blast of his hom.)
Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW
lane. (Why do underlings use this lane?
Surely everyone knows it is for BMW drivers only?) Anyway, once I was in
the BMW lane and posing along at
110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving
me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me
which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a
ridiculous 70 mph!
Naturally, I got to within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed
my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be
in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way. Of course, once
he realised it was a BMW behind
him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled
straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep
up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue
lights in his front grill and urged me to
get on to the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my
excellent car.
Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when he had stopped, the man
gave me a piece of paper confirming what
I already knew-that my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to
know what a superior car I have, so I had
to take my driver's licence to a Police Station to be sent away to have
some points put on! (They're not free points
either-they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the
Police Station said that because I drive a
BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then
I won't even NEED a driving licence, so
they will take it off me! See, now THAT'S the sort of respect you get
when you buy and drive a BMW."