View Full Version : Complaint Regarding All Forum Members
I would just like to say how disappointed I am that no one appears to have said BOLLOCKS for a considerable length of time.
I have utilised this forum as a method of teaching my 3-year-old son, real life. He is gaining valuable street knowledge that will serve him well in his future escapades I am sure.
But, and I stress this like an early morning trip to the grunter after a late night of Texas Barbeque Pringles and Uley Breweries superb Old Spot, postings have taken a turn for the worst.
So far in my curriculum-o-reality, we have moved through the major expletive groups, stopping only at the aforementioned derogatory seudo-verb.
I may have taken a risk removing my son from 'traditional' education but I feel, without prejudice and unreservedly, that this forum can and will become a formal part of national schooling.
Additionally, may I add a friendly request for the use of a few more 'old-school' words, those being lost in the midst of time - we have a duty to keep these words going, if only to maintain the memories of their comic value: -
words such as the classic: FART GUFF & TRUMP
historic verbiage like the ever haunting: SNOT & PISSY-PANTS
Ladies and gentlemen, I thank you for taking an interest in the proper education of my first born, long live the STIFFY!
Mrs Reject
16-08-2004, 09:44 AM
Bollox to yez...and feck as well :D
Bollox to yez...and feck as well :D
Now son, here we have a classic example of 'mixed expletive application', used generally in very serious bouts of frustration at another party.
Note how Mrs R has used a 2:7 ratio of swear word vs standard grammar....a truly experienced swearist at work.
p.s thanks Mrs R, his mum will be so proud
Huw Beer Monster
16-08-2004, 10:21 AM
Now son, here we have a classic example of 'mixed expletive application', used generally in very serious bouts of frustration at another party.
"Will you just *look* at those streamers, what fekkin silly cnut put them there?"
"He said £10.45, I said I want to buy a fekkin pint, not the soddin' barrel"
"I told them, no fekkin' red balloons. What did the tw@t bring? Yeah, fekkin' red balloons"
What do you mean not that sort of party?
:D
blackhack
16-08-2004, 11:16 AM
Bollock's is it...?????
I'll have you know that I say bollock's quite frequently on this and other boards...
in fact I think I'll say bollock's again......(and again, and again and again)
BOLLOCK'S BOLLOCK'S BOLLOCK'S
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Now Is that enough BOLLOCK'S to keep you happy ????????
Santa
16-08-2004, 11:23 AM
This may be stating the bleeding obvious, but I do believe Blackhack is talking a load of bollocks :D
Bosun
16-08-2004, 12:07 PM
does this now resume the status quo?
Didn't know status quo had stopped
Huw Beer Monster
16-08-2004, 12:38 PM
Only intermittently.
More comebacks than Frank Sinatra. Although he won't be making any more...
Bollock's is it...?????
I'll have you know that I say bollock's quite frequently on this and other boards...
in fact I think I'll say bollock's again......(and again, and again and again)
BOLLOCK'S BOLLOCK'S BOLLOCK'S
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Now Is that enough BOLLOCK'S to keep you happy ????????
Hang on mate, what exactly are you trying to say here...?
See, suspicous as I am, you appear to be damning my post and calling it names. But reading between the lines, there is a subliminal message and I'm sorry to say that I will have to turn your offer of a meat pasty down.
Jeeees, why people just cant be straight and say what they mean, I don't know...
Mitch
16-08-2004, 03:34 PM
'Ere, those drums are rumblin' abit aren't they?
(to the unititiated, where d'ya think the word BOLLOCKS come from? Zulu drums... can't remember the exact spellin' but Bollocks they are!!)
krammer
16-08-2004, 04:24 PM
zulu drums eh ? informative,educational and loads of bollocks thrown in for good measure.
Bosun
16-08-2004, 04:29 PM
zulu drums eh .
"stop chucking those bollocking spears at me!!"
blackhack
16-08-2004, 04:30 PM
For your edification......
A Bollock is also a drinking glass measure in belgium.
So if someone says BOLLOCK'S to you, just say "yes please" and tell them what you want in it...
I'll have a Bollock's full of lager please.....
acidpixie
16-08-2004, 04:58 PM
larger! yech!..yech!...yech!
i remember quos first farewell tour... (flashback music) ee-ooo-ee-ooo-ee-ooo
think it was 86??
lost intrest in em when they kept going an brought in that rhino kid and a drummer who smiled.
i ask you... a drummer who smiles in the quo.... what were they thinking of?
now THAT, was BOLLOX.
Mitch
16-08-2004, 05:14 PM
i remember quos first farewell tour...
hang on, so you're tellin' me that every year is a fookin' farewell tour? So those poor muppets who, in their hundreds invade the Cliff Pavilion in Bridlington every year (me mum lives there!!) are getting ripped off?????
I wish that the first one had been their last!!!!
then we would have been spared... a-rum-ti-dum, a-rum-ti-dum, a-rum-ti-diddly-um-ti-tum... (Every single Status Quo song ever done!! :D )
acidpixie
16-08-2004, 05:34 PM
fraid so chook.
they had 4 fairwell tours to my knowledge.
me? ...i reccon they went downhill after 'ice in the sun/pictures of matchstick men' and the 'dog of two heads' album
Mitch
16-08-2004, 06:13 PM
fraid so chook.
they had 4 fairwell tours to my knowledge.
me? ...i reccon they went downhill after 'ice in the sun/pictures of matchstick men' and the 'dog of two heads' album
That's cos they were the only songs not to go (altogether now!) a-rum-ti-dum, a-rum-ti-dum, a-rum-ti-diddly-um-ti-tum... :D
Wasn't Pictures of Matchstick Men brought out under some other name, not Status Quo?
For your edification......
A Bollock is also a drinking glass measure in belgium.
So if someone says BOLLOCK'S to you, just say "yes please" and tell them what you want in it...
I'll have a Bollock's full of lager please.....
Damn you got me by the short an curlies now.....see I am itching to go and see if your statement is true. It's like call my bluff.
Now I have to say that I want to believe you, but somethin is just tellin me you made that up. But if I go and have a look and you're right, then i gotta apologise and will owe you a beer, obviously.
Sounds simple but you now know that if I buy you a beer, a seemingly honourable gesture, I thought you were a liar....I can't win ere.
rommel
16-08-2004, 09:35 PM
Only intermittently.
More comebacks than Frank Sinatra. Although he won't be making any more...
How do you know :)
Bosun
16-08-2004, 09:45 PM
i remember quos first farewell tour... (flashback music) ee-ooo-ee-ooo-ee-ooo
think it was 86??
about that i was there, and they had Chas and dave who had asong callled apropriately BOLLOCKS ...
Rogue Monkey
16-08-2004, 11:01 PM
Testicles! :D
Huw Beer Monster
17-08-2004, 08:19 AM
How do you know :)
The spirits told me.
:eek:
The spirits told me.
:eek:
Jack Daniels told you that?
Huw Beer Monster
17-08-2004, 12:24 PM
Jack Daniels told you that?
Jack's told me loads. He's also responsible for me forgetting a few things as well though :)
Rogue Monkey
17-08-2004, 12:28 PM
Jack's told me loads. He's also responsible for me forgetting a few things as well though :)
Jack told ME ****! Jack ****! :p :D
Captain Smurf
17-08-2004, 12:31 PM
Ballcocks :rolleyes:
Huw Beer Monster
17-08-2004, 12:34 PM
Jack told ME ****! Jack ****! :p :D
You're not listening properly.
Jack says "Drink me, you know you want to". ;)
Sheltie
17-08-2004, 12:36 PM
Sorry but I don't do Jack, however, I will drink juicy lucy:D :D :D
Huw Beer Monster
17-08-2004, 12:38 PM
Sorry but I don't do Jack, however, I will drink juicy lucy:D :D :D
Juicy Lucy is the drag act at a club my mate owns. What are you trying to say? :eek:
Sheltie
17-08-2004, 12:40 PM
Juicy Lucy is the drag act at a club my mate owns. What are you trying to say? :eek:
The real Lucy not that one!!!! Urgh now I'll have to go and wash my mouth out Urgh
Bosun
17-08-2004, 05:50 PM
sometimes people talk complete bollocks :D
krammer
17-08-2004, 06:08 PM
....speaking of which i went through a faze of shaving my marley bag.
saxman
17-08-2004, 07:27 PM
skcollob. :rolleyes:
Jonnyfp
17-08-2004, 07:43 PM
....speaking of which i went through a faze of shaving my marley bag.
itchy innit?
davesatan
17-08-2004, 08:30 PM
can i say arse
rommel
17-08-2004, 10:00 PM
You just have :)
davesatan
17-08-2004, 11:17 PM
gtest news now just got finish frotting
saxman
17-08-2004, 11:30 PM
gtest news now just got finish frotting
wtf is frotting. :confused: :confused:
sounds like fun tho. :D
Friar Tuck
18-08-2004, 05:19 AM
BUMS!
*snigger* :D
davesatan
18-08-2004, 05:42 AM
the art of getting sexual satisfaction by rubbing against someone
krammer
18-08-2004, 02:36 PM
i used to derive sexual satisfaction from climbing lampost's. in fact, i think i will give it a try right now yep, still works. got some curious looks from the old lady over the road though.:D :D
ForestFred
18-08-2004, 05:46 PM
I wouldnt climb lamposts if I were you.Birds sh1t on the top and dogs piss on the bottom :D
krammer
18-08-2004, 06:14 PM
sound advice, i think i'll give telegraph poles a try. wearing gloves, wellies and brown y fronts due to creasote staining.:D :D
Bosun
18-08-2004, 09:41 PM
sound advice, i think i'll give telegraph poles a try. wearing gloves, wellies and brown y fronts due to creasote staining.:D :D
mmm all you need is a small tin of pilchards in tomato sauce and you have a good recipe for a fun night iin
sound advice, i think i'll give telegraph poles a try. wearing gloves, wellies and brown y fronts due to creasote staining.:D :D
Watch out for splinters
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