iomrob
24-09-2005, 05:00 PM
he says he forgot this {on another forum}
so just to remind him
Big Brother!
Day 1 - Grav admits straight away that he doesn't like the look of BikerGran. He says she looks like a lesbian. As it turns out, 100%Pat is in fact the only lesbian in the house, although Dougie later admits that he is unsure of his true sexuality.
2 - The house sit down for a discussion of how to organise simple chores. Jonnyfp creates tension by stating that the kitchen is where the women belong. Technoboiler hits him with a Blender.
3 - The housemates are set their first task by Big Brother - they must make a model of The Pyramids out of Cucumber. After much persuasion by Jonnyfp, they gamble 50% of next week's food budget on completing the task.
4 - Training for the The Pyramids task is well under way. However havoc ensues when Dougie, who is rapidly developing a reputation as the laziest fat b*stard in the house, eats half the Cucumber. Technoboiler is furious.
5 - Today is the day when the The Pyramids task must be completed. Things are going well until shortly before the end when Dougie farts and blows The Pyramids over. Big Brother announces that the task has been a failure. BikerGran cries.
6 - Jonnyfp gets pecked on the arm by one of the Big Brother chickens. Not a very exciting day.
7 - Big Brother is worried that things are getting dull, so he summons the housemates to have a mass debate about sex. After far too many cans of cider, BikerGran admits that she likes to be spanked on the a*se with a Blender. Grav says he never wears condoms because they make his Knob sore and Jonnyfp agrees. 100%Pat goes into a rant about how none of the other housemates have ever enjoyed a true orgasm because they're all boring heterosexual bastards. Dougie sits in the corner, quietly eyeing up Jonnyfp.
8 - Today is the first day that the housemates must nominate someone to leave. Grav goes round everyone one by one, telling them he really likes them because they're the only one in the house that he can really relate to. Technoboiler and BikerGran are voted as the two candidates to leave. Nobody votes for Grav.
9 - Technoboiler and BikerGran are told of their nominations and burst into tears, before hugging everyone and telling them they love them. 100%Pat sings them a song - Congratulations - to make them feel better.
10 - The public vote BikerGran out of the house. She pretends not to be bothered but then breaks down and sobs that she should never have admitted about enjoying being spanked. BikerGran leaves.
11 - Relationships are strained in the house as the housemates come to terms with BikerGran's departure. The food budget is low due to the failure of last week's failed task. 100%Pat has to make do without the cucumber she requested. Technoboiler is visibly depressed and is comforted by Jonnyfp, who tries to touch her on her Fanny.
12 - The Big Brother pyschologist replays the footage of Jonnyfp touching Technoboiler's Fanny over and over again. This is because it shows an interesting psychological incident, of course, not because it will increase the viewing figures. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of jogging on a running machine for twice the circumferance of the globe. They gamble 40% of the food budget on completing it.
13 - The running machine task is on target, despite the fact that Dougie refuses to run because his Knob hurts a bit.
14 - Much jubilation in the house as the running machine task is completed. Dougie finally manages to run the last 10 metres of the task and claims that without him they'd never have done it. Technoboiler calls Dougie a lazy Knob.
15 - Once again it is the day when nominations are due. Grav tells everyone individually that he thinks Technoboiler is a whore. He also points out that anyone who wants to stay at his flat when the show is finished is welcome to come and visit. Technoboiler and Jonnyfp are nominated by the housemates to leave. Nobody votes for Grav.
16 - The nominations are announced. Technoboiler can't believe she's been voted out two weeks in a row. Jonnyfp is equally stunned and turns to Technoboiler for comfort. Dougie is distraught and confesses to 100%Pat that he thinks he is in love with Jonnyfp. 100%Pat says she doesn't fancy any of the housemates because they're all just too heterosexual and she's a lesbian, you know
17 - The public vote Jonnyfp out of the house. Technoboiler says she is gutted and even gives Jonnyfp a clipping of hair from her Fanny to prove how much she cares. Dougie is also devastated but keeps his hair to himself. Jonnyfp leaves.
18 - The Big Brother psychologist shows repeated clips of Technoboiler clipping the hair from her Fanny. Apparently this is an important psychological incident. The public obviously agree as viewing figures soar.
19 - Big Brother sets the housemates the task of burping the National Anthem of Somewhereineuropeania in 60 seconds. They gamble 50% of the food budget on completing it.
20 - Nobody has a clue what the National Anthem of Somewhereineuropeania sounds like but Dougie says it's a bit like Dancing Queen. The housemates choose Grav as the one who must complete the task.
21 - Grav successfully burps not only the National Anthem of Somewhereineuropeania but also God Save The Queen, Congratulations and the theme tune to Emmerdale. He is proclaimed as a hero, despite the fact that a vote in a tabloid newspaper shows that 98% of the public want to kill him.
22 - Nominations are due and Grav tells everyone that he has a Villa in the South of France and they can all come and stay for a holiday. Dougie and 100%Pat are nominated.
23 - Dougie and 100%Pat take their nominations well and sit down with Grav and Technoboiler to discuss why they voted for them. Grav keeps quiet but Technoboiler accuses Dougie of being an arrogant, lazy, self-centred Knob before bursting into tears.
24 - The public vote 100%Pat of the house and nobody really gives a bob bar. 100%Pat leaves.
25 - Grav becomes the first housemate to have a w*nk. This footage goes down well with the Big Brother pschologist who proclaims that it gives us a true insight into the working of Grav's mind and brings out his true personality. In other words, he's a w*nker.
26 - Big Brother sets the remaining three housemates the task of shifting 5000 tons of Sheep dung using only a Blender. Grav is unsure but Dougie is confident, claiming to have done something very similar when he was younger. They gamble 50% of the food budget.
27 - Completely out of the blue, Dougie breaks down in tears and announces that he is leaving. He claims that it is because the dung-shifting task has brought back the painful memories of the Sheep incident from his childhood. Technoboiler tries to persuade him to stay but Grav sits in a corner, rubbing his hands slyly. Dougie decides to leave.
28 - With only two housemates remaining, the Sheep dung task proves impossible. They fail miserably and resort to getting extremely pissed on some vegetable wine, made by Technoboiler from a couple of mouldy carrots she found in the Big Brother garden.
29 - Nominations are due for the final time. Grav asks Technoboiler to marry him and she accepts. Unsurprisingly Grav nominates Technoboiler to leave. Rather more surprisingly, so does Technoboiler.
30 - When the nomination is announced, Technoboiler graciously accepts defeat and proclaims that Grav is a worthy winner. As they are soon to marry, she also agrees to shag him. The event is broadcast live to the nation and is preceded by a speech from the Queen. Everyone in the Big Brother production crew breathe a huge sigh of relief as viewing figures go through the roof. Grav takes his £70,000 and runs away to Somewhereineuropeania. Nobody, including Technoboiler, ever sees him again
so just to remind him
Big Brother!
Day 1 - Grav admits straight away that he doesn't like the look of BikerGran. He says she looks like a lesbian. As it turns out, 100%Pat is in fact the only lesbian in the house, although Dougie later admits that he is unsure of his true sexuality.
2 - The house sit down for a discussion of how to organise simple chores. Jonnyfp creates tension by stating that the kitchen is where the women belong. Technoboiler hits him with a Blender.
3 - The housemates are set their first task by Big Brother - they must make a model of The Pyramids out of Cucumber. After much persuasion by Jonnyfp, they gamble 50% of next week's food budget on completing the task.
4 - Training for the The Pyramids task is well under way. However havoc ensues when Dougie, who is rapidly developing a reputation as the laziest fat b*stard in the house, eats half the Cucumber. Technoboiler is furious.
5 - Today is the day when the The Pyramids task must be completed. Things are going well until shortly before the end when Dougie farts and blows The Pyramids over. Big Brother announces that the task has been a failure. BikerGran cries.
6 - Jonnyfp gets pecked on the arm by one of the Big Brother chickens. Not a very exciting day.
7 - Big Brother is worried that things are getting dull, so he summons the housemates to have a mass debate about sex. After far too many cans of cider, BikerGran admits that she likes to be spanked on the a*se with a Blender. Grav says he never wears condoms because they make his Knob sore and Jonnyfp agrees. 100%Pat goes into a rant about how none of the other housemates have ever enjoyed a true orgasm because they're all boring heterosexual bastards. Dougie sits in the corner, quietly eyeing up Jonnyfp.
8 - Today is the first day that the housemates must nominate someone to leave. Grav goes round everyone one by one, telling them he really likes them because they're the only one in the house that he can really relate to. Technoboiler and BikerGran are voted as the two candidates to leave. Nobody votes for Grav.
9 - Technoboiler and BikerGran are told of their nominations and burst into tears, before hugging everyone and telling them they love them. 100%Pat sings them a song - Congratulations - to make them feel better.
10 - The public vote BikerGran out of the house. She pretends not to be bothered but then breaks down and sobs that she should never have admitted about enjoying being spanked. BikerGran leaves.
11 - Relationships are strained in the house as the housemates come to terms with BikerGran's departure. The food budget is low due to the failure of last week's failed task. 100%Pat has to make do without the cucumber she requested. Technoboiler is visibly depressed and is comforted by Jonnyfp, who tries to touch her on her Fanny.
12 - The Big Brother pyschologist replays the footage of Jonnyfp touching Technoboiler's Fanny over and over again. This is because it shows an interesting psychological incident, of course, not because it will increase the viewing figures. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of jogging on a running machine for twice the circumferance of the globe. They gamble 40% of the food budget on completing it.
13 - The running machine task is on target, despite the fact that Dougie refuses to run because his Knob hurts a bit.
14 - Much jubilation in the house as the running machine task is completed. Dougie finally manages to run the last 10 metres of the task and claims that without him they'd never have done it. Technoboiler calls Dougie a lazy Knob.
15 - Once again it is the day when nominations are due. Grav tells everyone individually that he thinks Technoboiler is a whore. He also points out that anyone who wants to stay at his flat when the show is finished is welcome to come and visit. Technoboiler and Jonnyfp are nominated by the housemates to leave. Nobody votes for Grav.
16 - The nominations are announced. Technoboiler can't believe she's been voted out two weeks in a row. Jonnyfp is equally stunned and turns to Technoboiler for comfort. Dougie is distraught and confesses to 100%Pat that he thinks he is in love with Jonnyfp. 100%Pat says she doesn't fancy any of the housemates because they're all just too heterosexual and she's a lesbian, you know
17 - The public vote Jonnyfp out of the house. Technoboiler says she is gutted and even gives Jonnyfp a clipping of hair from her Fanny to prove how much she cares. Dougie is also devastated but keeps his hair to himself. Jonnyfp leaves.
18 - The Big Brother psychologist shows repeated clips of Technoboiler clipping the hair from her Fanny. Apparently this is an important psychological incident. The public obviously agree as viewing figures soar.
19 - Big Brother sets the housemates the task of burping the National Anthem of Somewhereineuropeania in 60 seconds. They gamble 50% of the food budget on completing it.
20 - Nobody has a clue what the National Anthem of Somewhereineuropeania sounds like but Dougie says it's a bit like Dancing Queen. The housemates choose Grav as the one who must complete the task.
21 - Grav successfully burps not only the National Anthem of Somewhereineuropeania but also God Save The Queen, Congratulations and the theme tune to Emmerdale. He is proclaimed as a hero, despite the fact that a vote in a tabloid newspaper shows that 98% of the public want to kill him.
22 - Nominations are due and Grav tells everyone that he has a Villa in the South of France and they can all come and stay for a holiday. Dougie and 100%Pat are nominated.
23 - Dougie and 100%Pat take their nominations well and sit down with Grav and Technoboiler to discuss why they voted for them. Grav keeps quiet but Technoboiler accuses Dougie of being an arrogant, lazy, self-centred Knob before bursting into tears.
24 - The public vote 100%Pat of the house and nobody really gives a bob bar. 100%Pat leaves.
25 - Grav becomes the first housemate to have a w*nk. This footage goes down well with the Big Brother pschologist who proclaims that it gives us a true insight into the working of Grav's mind and brings out his true personality. In other words, he's a w*nker.
26 - Big Brother sets the remaining three housemates the task of shifting 5000 tons of Sheep dung using only a Blender. Grav is unsure but Dougie is confident, claiming to have done something very similar when he was younger. They gamble 50% of the food budget.
27 - Completely out of the blue, Dougie breaks down in tears and announces that he is leaving. He claims that it is because the dung-shifting task has brought back the painful memories of the Sheep incident from his childhood. Technoboiler tries to persuade him to stay but Grav sits in a corner, rubbing his hands slyly. Dougie decides to leave.
28 - With only two housemates remaining, the Sheep dung task proves impossible. They fail miserably and resort to getting extremely pissed on some vegetable wine, made by Technoboiler from a couple of mouldy carrots she found in the Big Brother garden.
29 - Nominations are due for the final time. Grav asks Technoboiler to marry him and she accepts. Unsurprisingly Grav nominates Technoboiler to leave. Rather more surprisingly, so does Technoboiler.
30 - When the nomination is announced, Technoboiler graciously accepts defeat and proclaims that Grav is a worthy winner. As they are soon to marry, she also agrees to shag him. The event is broadcast live to the nation and is preceded by a speech from the Queen. Everyone in the Big Brother production crew breathe a huge sigh of relief as viewing figures go through the roof. Grav takes his £70,000 and runs away to Somewhereineuropeania. Nobody, including Technoboiler, ever sees him again