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emmamac
08-09-2005, 04:05 PM
Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle. They head to the bird
section and Gerry says to Paddy, "Dat's dem." The owner comes over and
asks if he can help them.

"Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up
dere,"says Gerry.

The owner puts the budgies in a paper bag. Paddy and Gerry pay for the
birds leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to drive to the top of
the Connor Pass.

At the Connor Pass, Gerry looks down at the 1000' foot drop and says
"Dis looks like a grand place." He takes two birds out of the bag, puts
them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff.

Paddy watches as Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself
stone dead. Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes
his head and says "Fook dat. Dis budgie jumping is too fook'n dangerous
for me!"

THERE'S MORE

Moment's later, Seamus arrives up at Connor Pass.

He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff
carrying another paper bag in one hand and a shotgun in the other.

"Hi, Paddy. Watch dis," Seamus says.

He takes a parrot from the bag and throws himself over the edge of the
cliff Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots
the parrot.

Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and
breaks every bone in his body. Paddy shakes his head and says "And I'm
never trying dat parrotshooting either!"

IT IS NOT OVER YET

Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean Og
appears. He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a paper bag out
of which he pulls a chicken. Sean Og then hurls himself off the cliff
and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine.

Once more Paddy shakes his head. "Fook dat, lads. First dere was Gerry
with his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting and now Sean Og and
his fook'n hengliding!"

rommel
08-09-2005, 04:10 PM
i like................. :D

Baloo
08-09-2005, 04:42 PM
Two Paddies in torn and tattered cowboy outfits are dragging by zoo wardens and ambulance men from the big cat enclosure in Dublin zoo. As they were being loaded into the ambulance, covered in blood, one of them was heard to say to the other;

'Shamus, Oi don't tink oi'm dat well suited to dis lion-dancin' ...' :)

Shaun the Fatman
08-09-2005, 04:46 PM
It's people like YOU lot what cause unrest :)

arnie
08-09-2005, 04:50 PM
Purr fect, it made me larf owt loud an I'm a rite misso.

blackhack
08-09-2005, 05:05 PM
Irishman on a building site, three stories up on the scaffolding just walks off the end....glides down to the bothy for the tea break,,all the other guys have to climb down ladders etc.. and ask...

"Here Paddy how did you manage that without killing yourself ??"

Paddy replies....
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wait for it......
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During the war I learned how to fly in welingtons....

kitkatman
08-09-2005, 05:31 PM
what do you do if paddy throws a pin at you..


run like fuck as he has a grenade in his mouth...... :D




did you here about the irish man who tried to blow up a london bus...

burnt his lips on the exhaust..... :D