I found a snake!!!!

[Mrs Reject]

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!! I have just been out mowing the grass and I found a dead snake. I looked snakes up on the net and it is an adder. Now I am afraid to go out and finish mowing! :eek:

[Gypsy]

they will get outta your way , rarly will an adder attack

[bill?]

just keep pushing the mower, that'll take care of any snakes in front of you and the noise/vibrations will make any others bugger off.

[mr.chaz]

Holy sh*t ! just been upstairs to the loo , and found a snake in my trousers !
Aaah! someone hit it wiv a big stick!!! ;)

[bill?]

and found a snake in my trousers !


just run at it with the mower that should sort it out

[Gypsy]

ah the famous spitting trouser snake.... often strikes with no warning, deadly but silent ... once bitten a female can be incapacitated for 9 months :D

[Abb]

Adder bites aren't usually dangerous unless you suffer an allergic reaction. Snakes will always try to get out of the way (apart from things like the Gaboon Viper or Death Adder who lie there hiding - bastards)

[Yoda]

(apart from things like the Gaboon Viper or Death Adder who lie there hiding - bastards)

usually using a dead adder as bait for humans?????

Yoda

[Bob Harley]

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!! I have just been out mowing the grass and I found a dead snake. I looked snakes up on the net and it is an adder. Now I am afraid to go out and finish mowing! :eek:

Are you sure? harmless grass snakes look the same (markings).

[Creature]

apart from things like the Gaboon Viper or Death Adder who lie there hiding - bastards

Just like to bloody TAX man :) :)

[Mitch]

All I can say is that those bloody cats have been on patrol again haven't they? :D

I bet that was Mabsie, dark destroyer!

[BigBod]

Holy sh*t ! just been upstairs to the loo , and found a snake in my trousers !
Aaah! someone hit it wiv a big stick!!! ;)


:eek: !!!!!THWACK!!!!! :eek:

[mr.chaz]

:eek: !!!!!THWACK!!!!! :eek:

That's got it! Nice one!

Now if I can only figure out how to keep the swelling , but lose the pain -ummmm? :eek:

[100%Pat]

An extremely tight elastic band near the base, the pain will soon dissapear as numbness sets in :o

[mr.chaz]

An extremely tight elastic band near the base, the pain will soon dissapear as numbness sets in :o

................and gangrene? :)

[Kingo]

Then it'l drop off and you become a female :eek:

[Huw Beer Monster]

You have to lose half your brain as well? Eek! :eek:

Please note that the above comment in no way represents anything other than a puerile response to the previous post.

[BigBod]

An extremely tight elastic band near the base, the pain will soon dissapear as numbness sets in :o

Them laccy bands get all caught up in the hairs though..........so I've been told :p

[BigBod]

That's got it! Nice one!

Now if I can only figure out how to keep the swelling , but lose the pain -ummmm? :eek:

Thats my bit done, I think you better get one of the girlies to take over from here, people will talk. ;)

[BigBod]

You have to lose half your brain as well? Eek! :eek:

Please note that the above comment in no way represents anything other than a puerile response to the previous post.

Scardy cat, Scardy cat..

[Huw Beer Monster]

Scardy cat, Scardy cat..

Meow? :D :D :D

[Mrs Reject]

Arrrggghhhhhh, christ!!!!!! Mabsie the dark destroyer just bought another one in and killed it - beast!!!! I think it may have been a grass snake after all because she had it by the tail and it didn't bite her!
Great to know we have a colony of flippin' snakes in the garden.

[krammer]

Them laccy bands get all caught up in the hairs though..........so I've been told :p yes, but did you know if you shave ahem, down below it creates the illusion that you're packing an extra inch? apparantly, so i've been told i mean i would'nt actually know myself.

[Bosun]

. Now I am afraid to go out and finish mowing! :eek:


cant you use the excuse rain stopped play


still at least the snakes will keep rats away

[seedless]

Them laccy bands get all caught up in the hairs though..........so I've been told :p

Well shave them off! :eek:

[BigBod]

yes, but did you know if you shave ahem, down below it creates the illusion that you're packing an extra inch? apparantly, so i've been told i mean i would'nt actually know myself.

That's what my missus says, 'It's just an illusion' :confused:

I can feel a song coming on....

[Maggie B]

NAME: "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake)
LOCATION: Throughout the world
DESCRIPTION: One-eyed, with mushroom-shaped head (other types come with extra layers of skin). Varying from pink to black. Fang-less with a highly venomous spit. (Spit can reach distances up to 2-3 feet) * Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its mood & sub-species.
SYMPTOMS: This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling followed by excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal.
Beware: It has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen!
HABITAT: Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in the most unusual places.
ANTIDOTE: Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once the venom is injected into the body only drastic measures will ensure complete recovery. There is no known antidote for men.
WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED TOURNIQUET: Do not apply a tourniquet as the venom is too deep in the body to be affected.
CUTTING THE WOUND: This would be completely unnecessary and ineffective as the bleeding will stop after a few weeks anyhow.
SUCKING THE WOUND: This method is the most popular with the victim, but so far has not been reported to have led to any success.
SEARCHING FOR ANTI-VENOM:
(1.) Place four fingers of the right hand around the neck of the reptile, with the thumb in the front.
(2.) Grip firmly and move the hand in an upwards and downwards motion.
(3.) This will result in the snake becoming highly aggressive, very rigid and start spitting.
(4.) The time taken for this milking process depends entirely on the milker and the last time the snake attacked.
(5.) Once milked, the snake should be harmless for about 20 minutes.
CONCLUSION: This snake, although it is very aggressive and active, is not necessarily a vermin, and treated with the right respect, makes a wonderful pet.

[Yoda]

Fantastic..... hehehehehehe

Yoda

[mr.chaz]

That's all very well and good , but my pet snake's venom has no ill effects.
It's safe to keep as a pet and play with whenever you want...

That's it love... don't be shy....it won't hurt you at all... see , it just wants to say hello!


heheheheheheheheheheheh :eek:

[krammer]

NAME: "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake)
LOCATION: Throughout the world
DESCRIPTION: One-eyed, with mushroom-shaped head (other types come with extra layers of skin). Varying from pink to black. Fang-less with a highly venomous spit. (Spit can reach distances up to 2-3 feet) * Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its mood & sub-species.
SYMPTOMS: This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling followed by excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal.
Beware: It has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen!
HABITAT: Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in the most unusual places.
ANTIDOTE: Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once the venom is injected into the body only drastic measures will ensure complete recovery. There is no known antidote for men.
WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED TOURNIQUET: Do not apply a tourniquet as the venom is too deep in the body to be affected.
CUTTING THE WOUND: This would be completely unnecessary and ineffective as the bleeding will stop after a few weeks anyhow.
SUCKING THE WOUND: This method is the most popular with the victim, but so far has not been reported to have led to any success.
SEARCHING FOR ANTI-VENOM:
(1.) Place four fingers of the right hand around the neck of the reptile, with the thumb in the front.
(2.) Grip firmly and move the hand in an upwards and downwards motion.
(3.) This will result in the snake becoming highly aggressive, very rigid and start spitting.
(4.) The time taken for this milking process depends entirely on the milker and the last time the snake attacked.
(5.) Once milked, the snake should be harmless for about 20 minutes.
CONCLUSION: This snake, although it is very aggressive and active, is not necessarily a vermin, and treated with the right respect, makes a wonderful pet. wwwooooooooow!

[Mrs Reject]

Perverts :eek: :eek: :eek:

[krammer]

whose a prefect?

[Zeek]

OI !!!! Mrs R............I resmeble that remark...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D

[Mrs Reject]

It's that Forest Fred impersonator again!!!

[Mitch]

Perverts :eek: :eek: :eek:

Pol Pot want's another can of black spray paint for his kettle!!!

(pot calling t'kettle black - geddit?... I'll get me coat!)

[Zeek]

Well if I am FF..........I still resemble that remark.......I think...!!!! best get a cold beer......& work out who am I............ :D :D

[bunbag]

dont be fooled a grass snake can give you a nasty bite even though it aint got venom also did you know all spiders in the uk have venom , also the port,s in the uk have scorpons all over the place THATS WHY YOU NEED A RAT TO PROTECT YOU FROM ALL THE CREEPY WEE THINGS and you can have one for nought free to a good home HA HA :)

[Rogue Monkey]

Adders are harmless! I have heard of an adder that was provoked beyond all boundaries of rational thought, beyond any thought of compassion for others! This adder was BLACK! THE BLACK ADDER! Long may he rool! Oooooo! a bit drunk :o

[bunbag]

what u drinkin me on millers

[bunbag]

Adders are harmless! I have heard of an adder that was provoked beyond all boundaries of rational thought, beyond any thought of compassion for others! This adder was BLACK! THE BLACK ADDER! Long may he rool! Oooooo! a bit drunk :o what udrinkin me oan millers and awee nippy sweety

[Friar Tuck]

Used to take the new doggie over to Winterton Dunes, until we were told the place was rife with Adders, which apparently are a protected species! Bugger that! so we don't go there now!